Story Near death experience + what happens after?

[AN1V]

Does anyone have any insight or plausible idea what comes after death?
I know it's a dumb question because it can never be answered, but the fear of the unknown and what might be after keeps me from CTB
I've had a near death experience so I know roughly what it feels like, or at least how it did for me.

I had a brain tumor for most of my life which went undetected until I broke down in a seizure around 2016. The memory is foggy in my head, but I remember laying on my back in a very shallow body of water. I didn't have a body so I couldn't touch, see, or smell but I could sense and visualize everything around me. wherever I was, it was pitch black like I was in a void. I felt cold and empty before slowly feeling like I was being wrapped in a warmest blanket or being warmly held and In the moment I knew I was dying but I didn't care and I just accepted that this was it.
I don't know how I transitioned to standing up. In my head the memory is as foggy as a dream. I was up standing on the edge of a cliff, the water I was laying in before was behind me and calmly and slowly flowing down beneath my feet and into a dark abyss, the warmth of before was also gone. I was teetering on the edge and balancing between falling down or falling backwards but I was completely calm or not at all in control, I assume this is all normal for near death experiences but what absolute terrifies me is that beyond the void and cliff, I felt something staring at me and into my soul. sort of like that gnawing feeling you get when someone is staring at you. so far I had felt calm but when I was face to face with whatever it was, I felt the most unbridled and pure primal fear fill me. but at the same time, whatever it was felt uncaring and neutral, just kind of watching me and staring with no clear motive.

I don't fear dying (except for the pain) but I miss how warm I had felt flowing to the edge. has anyone else had similar experiences? was it just my brain playing tricks on me and panicking? I want to CTB but I fear whatever might come after.
I would love to hear your stories

 

[ForeverSleepy]

Does anyone have any insight or plausible idea what comes after death?
I know it's a dumb question because it can never be answered, but the fear of the unknown and what might be after keeps me from CTB
I've had a near death experience so I know roughly what it feels like, or at least how it did for me.

I had a brain tumor for most of my life which went undetected until I broke down in a seizure around 2016. The memory is foggy in my head, but I remember laying on my back in a very shallow body of water. I didn't have a body so I couldn't touch, see, or smell but I could sense and visualize everything around me. wherever I was, it was pitch black like I was in a void. I felt cold and empty before slowly feeling like I was being wrapped in a warmest blanket or being warmly held and In the moment I knew I was dying but I didn't care and I just accepted that this was it.
I don't know how I transitioned to standing up. In my head the memory is as foggy as a dream. I was up standing on the edge of a cliff, the water I was laying in before was behind me and calmly and slowly flowing down beneath my feet and into a dark abyss, the warmth of before was also gone. I was teetering on the edge and balancing between falling down or falling backwards but I was completely calm or not at all in control, I assume this is all normal for near death experiences but what absolute terrifies me is that beyond the void and cliff, I felt something staring at me and into my soul. sort of like that gnawing feeling you get when someone is staring at you. so far I had felt calm but when I was face to face with whatever it was, I felt the most unbridled and pure primal fear fill me. but at the same time, whatever it was felt uncaring and neutral, just kind of watching me and staring with no clear motive.

I don't fear dying (except for the pain) but I miss how warm I had felt flowing to the edge. has anyone else had similar experiences? was it just my brain playing tricks on me and panicking? I want to CTB but I fear whatever might come after.
I would love to hear your stories

In my experience, I also suffered quite a foggy/forgetful state during my two near death situations (both overdoses but the second one was more "successful"). In my second attempt, I had to be ressuscitated in the ambulance. The only thing I remember from this was the moments before actually taking the medications and only many hours later in the hospital, on IV. From my experience, I was just enveloped in darkness, and if I had actually departed from this world, I wouldn't even have realised it. If I had to extract a tip from my experience, would be to heavily sedate yourself with benzodiazepenes and/or antipsychotics to enter a state of complete numbness and an overall smooth exit. This is from my experience though, and I am not a doctor by any means but this is what I will implement for my eventual and final ctb attempt.