I think we can probably recognise that co-dependent relationships aren't all that healthy. In this case though, I'm not so much refering to the dynamics in a co-dependent relationship. More, simply the situation of a person's wellness being so utterly dependent on another. It's a fairly risky position to put yourself in. Plus, it puts a great deal of pressure on the other person to sustain and support the person who is dependent.
I suppose I just find it interesting in terms of the parent- child relationship. Children are naturally fully reliant on their parents as infants. They simply won't survive without them. Yet, when they become adults, chances are the parents will encourage them to become independent. Plus, they know the likelihood is, they will die before the child. They obviously see it as reasonable that the child will have to accept this. Even if they die during the child's early years (as my Mum did.)
What I find interesting is the circumstances of suicide. I find it understandable of course that a parent would feel devastated by it. I'd argue that the most vehement opposition towards suicide tends to come from parents. I'd argue that many parent to child relationships exist in this co-dependent state. The parent simply can't imagine living without their child. They likely woudn't willingly let the child go- if they actually could access assisted suicide.
How fair is that though? To get into a co-dependent relationship as an adult is one thing. Probably also tricky but, at least there's the option to leave if things get too much. Children are born as co-depedent objects though. Is it truly fair to bring a sentient being here and expect it to endure a (possibly) very difficult life, just so as not to leave early and upset their parents?
Do you suppose there's a style of parenting where children are still loved dearly and supported but, there is more understanding and freedom if the child really can't cope in this world and, in extreme cases decides to leave it?
Not that I can ever see it happening but, let's say assisted suicide comes in for all adults of sound mind. Even relatively healthy adults who have simply had enough. If it was widespread and widely known about, I wonder if that would put prospective parents off having children. If they knew their children were truly free to judge for themselves and leave, would they still risk bringing them here?
Is love weaker if you know you may have to relinquish it one day? Do we become less attached to things we know we could lose? Maybe that's why we try to ignore death. Because it makes less sense and hurts more to become attached to things/ people we will ultimately lose. Maybe it's stronger to be willing to let go though. Selfless love.
I suppose I just find it interesting in terms of the parent- child relationship. Children are naturally fully reliant on their parents as infants. They simply won't survive without them. Yet, when they become adults, chances are the parents will encourage them to become independent. Plus, they know the likelihood is, they will die before the child. They obviously see it as reasonable that the child will have to accept this. Even if they die during the child's early years (as my Mum did.)
What I find interesting is the circumstances of suicide. I find it understandable of course that a parent would feel devastated by it. I'd argue that the most vehement opposition towards suicide tends to come from parents. I'd argue that many parent to child relationships exist in this co-dependent state. The parent simply can't imagine living without their child. They likely woudn't willingly let the child go- if they actually could access assisted suicide.
How fair is that though? To get into a co-dependent relationship as an adult is one thing. Probably also tricky but, at least there's the option to leave if things get too much. Children are born as co-depedent objects though. Is it truly fair to bring a sentient being here and expect it to endure a (possibly) very difficult life, just so as not to leave early and upset their parents?
Do you suppose there's a style of parenting where children are still loved dearly and supported but, there is more understanding and freedom if the child really can't cope in this world and, in extreme cases decides to leave it?
Not that I can ever see it happening but, let's say assisted suicide comes in for all adults of sound mind. Even relatively healthy adults who have simply had enough. If it was widespread and widely known about, I wonder if that would put prospective parents off having children. If they knew their children were truly free to judge for themselves and leave, would they still risk bringing them here?
Is love weaker if you know you may have to relinquish it one day? Do we become less attached to things we know we could lose? Maybe that's why we try to ignore death. Because it makes less sense and hurts more to become attached to things/ people we will ultimately lose. Maybe it's stronger to be willing to let go though. Selfless love.
