WhatDoesTheFoxSay?
Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
- Dec 25, 2020
- 1,115
II. SELF-ABSORBED/CONCEITED
Like every narcissist, Ndad is threatened by your efforts at self-identity and independence, and longs for the time when he was at the centre of your universe (i.e. infancy and toddlerhood). He feels a constant need for self-aggrandisement to cover up for his deep-seated insecurities. According to yogi Paramahansa Yogananda, "Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others." Instead of joy or praise, your accomplishments are met with jealousy as he puts you down and capitalises on opportunity to brag about his own achievements. (Some are blatant lies. Distinction in Art? Seriously?) STEM are held in high regard, whereas subjects like sports, art and music are treated with contempt. Whenever he gives you a compliment it's to ask you for a favour, and while he's at it he'd put someone else down.
With constant fault-finding, your self-confidence whittles away as he puts himself on a pedestal. At some point you realise that you can never please him. If you think he's concerned for your future, you're dead wrong. You're no more than a trophy and bragging right. He is neither interested in your personal nor professional development, and hates to see you stand on your own two feet.
Ndad is the type of person that flies into a rage at the slightest bruise to his ego, taking disagreement as a personal affront. From what I can tell, he has the male chauvinist belief that women should submit to their husbands. Mom would often spark his ire for just having the nerve to make suggestions. In the past they would get into heated arguments and shout at each other, traumatising me when I was little. Most often, his response to conflict is passive-aggressive. He would sulk and sigh, and villianise Mom behind her back as an attempt at character assassination. Being highly sensitive again, this caused my anxiety levels to skyrocket. As one has nothing to gain and everything to lose by disagreeing with him, we've decided to let him live under the false impression that silence means consent.
PART I
PART III
Like every narcissist, Ndad is threatened by your efforts at self-identity and independence, and longs for the time when he was at the centre of your universe (i.e. infancy and toddlerhood). He feels a constant need for self-aggrandisement to cover up for his deep-seated insecurities. According to yogi Paramahansa Yogananda, "Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others." Instead of joy or praise, your accomplishments are met with jealousy as he puts you down and capitalises on opportunity to brag about his own achievements. (Some are blatant lies. Distinction in Art? Seriously?) STEM are held in high regard, whereas subjects like sports, art and music are treated with contempt. Whenever he gives you a compliment it's to ask you for a favour, and while he's at it he'd put someone else down.
With constant fault-finding, your self-confidence whittles away as he puts himself on a pedestal. At some point you realise that you can never please him. If you think he's concerned for your future, you're dead wrong. You're no more than a trophy and bragging right. He is neither interested in your personal nor professional development, and hates to see you stand on your own two feet.
Ndad is the type of person that flies into a rage at the slightest bruise to his ego, taking disagreement as a personal affront. From what I can tell, he has the male chauvinist belief that women should submit to their husbands. Mom would often spark his ire for just having the nerve to make suggestions. In the past they would get into heated arguments and shout at each other, traumatising me when I was little. Most often, his response to conflict is passive-aggressive. He would sulk and sigh, and villianise Mom behind her back as an attempt at character assassination. Being highly sensitive again, this caused my anxiety levels to skyrocket. As one has nothing to gain and everything to lose by disagreeing with him, we've decided to let him live under the false impression that silence means consent.
PART I
PART III
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