Discussion My Will vs. my Instincts

[inanimate]

i was shocked when I first felt/realized how badly my bodily instincts don't want me to ctb (survive). I'm so desperate and I want nothing more in the world than death but it's still so hard. It feels shameful and pathetic. the one thing I want most I can't even do.m


If this is supposed to be under venting not discussion lmk

 

[Lostkitten1]

If survival instinct was easy to overcome, I would say most of us wouldn't be here. I certainly wouldn't be

 

[inanimate]

If survival instinct was easy to overcome, I would say most of us wouldn't be here. I certainly wouldn't be

well said, me too.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

i was shocked when I first felt/realized how badly my bodily instincts don't want me to ctb (survive). I'm so desperate and I want nothing more in the world than death but it's still so hard. It feels shameful and pathetic. the one thing I want most I can't even do.m


If this is supposed to be under venting not discussion lmk

You're trying to go against millions of years of evolution. It ain't easy.

 

[new.solution1]

i was shocked when I first felt/realized how badly my bodily instincts don't want me to ctb (survive). I'm so desperate and I want nothing more in the world than death but it's still so hard. It feels shameful and pathetic. the one thing I want most I can't even do.m


If this is supposed to be under venting not discussion lmk

What caused this "shock"?

 

[inanimate]

What caused this "shock"?

Can you be more specific? My very next words are " first felt/realized how badly my bodily instincts don't want me to ctb (survive)."

"This shock" lol

 

[new.solution1]

I mean what caused this realization? Did you try to make a ctb then backed out, or something?

 

[inanimate]

I mean what caused this realization? Did you try to make a ctb then backed out, or something?

Again, very next words. "I'm so desperate and I want nothing more in the world than death but it's still so hard."
I've tried before yes. Why do you ask? Does this sound foreign to you?

 

[new.solution1]

When you say "I 'was' shocked" the "was" sounds like you are referring to a specific incident in the past.

 

[inanimate]

no, I was not posting/referring to any specific incident in the past. It's a "regular" struggle.
Regular meaning routine, constant. Hence the shame, frustration.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide is very difficult as even know we want to die we are programmed to survive. I'm sorry you are suffering so much, I understand the feeling of desperation. I also just want non existence, but I wish it was easier to get there. It can be dreadful being trapped in a miserable existence. I wish you the best in whatever happens.