Note: I am making this post in the hope it encourages people not to use this method, as it is awful and quite unreliable.
So I'm new to this forum but I wanted to share my awful experience with trying to die from paracetamol. I made two attempts, one with a smaller amount and one with a larger amount.
Attempt 1
So my first attempt was when I couldn't find a source for SN and i had had a very heated discussion with a guy I didn't know and I started questioning and doubting myself. He made me feel like I had no future. So I grabbed the paracetamol from the cupboard (11 tablets, around 5 grams) and downed them all with some water. I think I ate something small too, but I can't remember what. Half an hour later I threw up, then I had a stomachache and felt drowsy. I willed myself to pass out for hours, then I fell asleep on the floor and woke up a few hours later. I was drowsy and had an upset stomach for the next few days, but that cleared up and I went back to normal after that.
Attempt 2:
Attempt 2 was when I was homeless and couldn't find a place to stay that I could afford. I called around all sorts of organisations trying to find help but no luck (can't live with other people, it causes me to have breakdowns) in desperation I then called the local crisis line and asked them if they knew who I could talk to for help. They said they didn't know and couldn't help me. I was very desperate and it was very early in the morning. I then proceeded to down 20 tablets of paracetamol (10 g) washed down with an energy drink. I was homeless, had failed partial hanging multiple times and tried and failed to get SN. I was in so much agony I thought fuck it, I'm dying come what may, a stomachache isn't going to stop me. I sat for a while feeling nauseous as hell but didn't throw up. Soon the stomach pain happened, but it was not like last time. It was excruciating. I thought if this gets any worse I will start screaming in agony and what if somebody finds me distraught and throwing up and calls the police. I was homeless so had nowhere private to wait out the few days or weeks it would take to die. So I headed into the centre of town, all the way throwing up way more than last time, basically nonstop. I headed to the hospital to get the antidote because if someone found me in pain screaming and crying and throwing up they might call the police I thought, so I decided to stop before the excruciating pain became worse. I got the antidote while I was there but I was in so much pain they had to give me a drug the nurse said was like morphine. They also gave me the strongest antiemetic they had but I was still vomiting nonstop for the first day there. I didn't know it was humanly possible for the body to even produce that much vomit. I had to talk to a couple of people who I think were psychiatric nurses, and also a social worker. They told me to go back to living with other people even though I said multiple times it has lead to me attempting suicide. They let me go soon after though. I said I still wanted to die, but I wouldnt be using paracetamol again. This was enough for them to let me go and not send me to the psych ward. I am housed now, I have my own bathroom and kitchenette but I am still in a house with other people. What the psych people said still affects me to this day, and I still want to die.
So long story short, I can't reccomend paracetamol. Especially if you happen to be homeless or living with other people. But I do know the desperation when you can't find SN. I am continuing my research online though and I hope to find a seller that will ship it all the way to my lovely home country of New Zealand :) All the sellers here will only ship to business addresses. Solidarity to all of you who can't find SN and I hope one day we have a world where nobody feels the need to resort to such awful methods like paracetamol.
So I'm new to this forum but I wanted to share my awful experience with trying to die from paracetamol. I made two attempts, one with a smaller amount and one with a larger amount.
Attempt 1
So my first attempt was when I couldn't find a source for SN and i had had a very heated discussion with a guy I didn't know and I started questioning and doubting myself. He made me feel like I had no future. So I grabbed the paracetamol from the cupboard (11 tablets, around 5 grams) and downed them all with some water. I think I ate something small too, but I can't remember what. Half an hour later I threw up, then I had a stomachache and felt drowsy. I willed myself to pass out for hours, then I fell asleep on the floor and woke up a few hours later. I was drowsy and had an upset stomach for the next few days, but that cleared up and I went back to normal after that.
Attempt 2:
Attempt 2 was when I was homeless and couldn't find a place to stay that I could afford. I called around all sorts of organisations trying to find help but no luck (can't live with other people, it causes me to have breakdowns) in desperation I then called the local crisis line and asked them if they knew who I could talk to for help. They said they didn't know and couldn't help me. I was very desperate and it was very early in the morning. I then proceeded to down 20 tablets of paracetamol (10 g) washed down with an energy drink. I was homeless, had failed partial hanging multiple times and tried and failed to get SN. I was in so much agony I thought fuck it, I'm dying come what may, a stomachache isn't going to stop me. I sat for a while feeling nauseous as hell but didn't throw up. Soon the stomach pain happened, but it was not like last time. It was excruciating. I thought if this gets any worse I will start screaming in agony and what if somebody finds me distraught and throwing up and calls the police. I was homeless so had nowhere private to wait out the few days or weeks it would take to die. So I headed into the centre of town, all the way throwing up way more than last time, basically nonstop. I headed to the hospital to get the antidote because if someone found me in pain screaming and crying and throwing up they might call the police I thought, so I decided to stop before the excruciating pain became worse. I got the antidote while I was there but I was in so much pain they had to give me a drug the nurse said was like morphine. They also gave me the strongest antiemetic they had but I was still vomiting nonstop for the first day there. I didn't know it was humanly possible for the body to even produce that much vomit. I had to talk to a couple of people who I think were psychiatric nurses, and also a social worker. They told me to go back to living with other people even though I said multiple times it has lead to me attempting suicide. They let me go soon after though. I said I still wanted to die, but I wouldnt be using paracetamol again. This was enough for them to let me go and not send me to the psych ward. I am housed now, I have my own bathroom and kitchenette but I am still in a house with other people. What the psych people said still affects me to this day, and I still want to die.
So long story short, I can't reccomend paracetamol. Especially if you happen to be homeless or living with other people. But I do know the desperation when you can't find SN. I am continuing my research online though and I hope to find a seller that will ship it all the way to my lovely home country of New Zealand :) All the sellers here will only ship to business addresses. Solidarity to all of you who can't find SN and I hope one day we have a world where nobody feels the need to resort to such awful methods like paracetamol.
Sorry that you've also had to deal with a really shitty system. Is your stomach feeling better?
