Hi Pcgamer. First off let me say I'm sorry for your pain. Believe me I've been there many times, made attempts, but somehow lived on into middle age. You ask why you shouldn't kill yourself. Well that's a logical question and one which has been asked many times by greater minds than mine, Albert Camus for one. I don't know the circumstances of your life so I'm not going to patronise you by telling you "it's not that bad really". What I will say is, it would take a lot of effort to end a life - you know, planning, acquiring the necessary resources. As I say, I've tried. So I just want to ask you whether there's anything you can do requiring a bit less effort than suicide that would make things even slightly better? I mean the most trivial thing. Like .. listening to your favourite music, making contact with a friend, getting outside for a few minutes ... heck these suggestions are making me sound old but these are things that have helped me. I'm sure you can come up with some better ideas of your own. And, you know, don't beat yourself if you don't feel like doing anything. Staying in bed for the day helps too. Wishing you hope and healing