Story My story

[SadLad]

Hi guys, I would just like to prefix and add that I'm really grateful for finding this forum. I've been struggling for a LONG time but when I stumbled upon this site a warm glow ran through my body for a minuscule of a second. Wow, there's others who feel like I do. A small comfort.

Where do I start? Well as a teenager I developed a rare sweat disorder which made my hands and sweat profusely 24 hours of the day. it was awful. Especially as a teenager. This made me develop depression and life altering anxiety which I've just never recovered from. Why me? I never understood why I had to endure such suffering whilst nobody else in my family had any such issue.

My teeth. My teeth are disgusting. As a child I hated brushing them. No one forced me to, so I just didn't brush them. For YEARS. Is this neglect? It wasn't until I was a teenager (19?) until I really began looking after myself but by then the damage has been well and truly done. I absolutely hate that I've done this to myself and the bullying towards my teeth has been so severe that I just fantasise about CTB every single day.

I have flashbacks of people in groups looking and laughing at me, pulling disgusted faces. Just typing this is hard. I don't blame them, I just wish I didn't have to deal with this. I'm weak, always have been. I have no more strength left. I'd love some SN but realistically I know that isn't an option right now. Looks like hanging is the best method for me.

Thanks for listening guys.

 

[underthedatetree]

I understand so much of what your saying, I also have palmar hyperhidrosis. It's not as severe as 24/7 but it is enough that whenever I took notes by the end of class the paper would be soaked and I was humiliated during mandatory dance lessons (why did they even have that??) or ball sports in PE...I couldn't control my palm water getting all over my dance pardners hand or the dodge ball ball but I was a pariah all the same. I also neglect my teeth from depression, made them even worse with bulimia, point of no return passed long ago. Why not find a distraction tonight to block memories of the bullying? A movie or show. It wasn't your fault and you didn't deserve to have these bad memories bc of awful irrelevant people from way in the past. But I know its hard to forget.

 

[whywere]

1st a late welcome, as it is so nice having you as a new friend.

My heart broke reading your thread, as no one should ever have anyone being negative towards a fellow human ever. In fact, I cried, as I had, a very long time ago, I am 67, but in high school, still remember, I was very poor, no dentist, or heck anything, and yes, the looks and laughs, painful yet to this day. In fact my "parents" called me "the mistake".

I really want you to know that you are a very loving and kind soul, your entire thread makes that very clear. I know just how hard it can be, but try and focus on the fact, that I care about you deeply. I aspect about me is that I am 100% true blue and after all the decades of garbage that I have been through, I love helping folks out so much.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, love and sunny blue skies to enjoy, as you mean so much to me as a good friend.

Walter

Real first name, my folks were from Germany, I am in the U.S.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this but actually you can fix your teeth there're professional ways to have "3rd teeth" that are perfect. Ofc it's only a question of money but I think this'd be the easiest problem to be fixed. Welcome to the forum I hope you find benefits here!

 

[SadLad]

I understand so much of what your saying, I also have palmar hyperhidrosis. It's not as severe as 24/7 but it is enough that whenever I took notes by the end of class the paper would be soaked and I was humiliated during mandatory dance lessons (why did they even have that??) or ball sports in PE...I couldn't control my palm water getting all over my dance pardners hand or the dodge ball ball but I was a pariah all the same. I also neglect my teeth from depression, made them even worse with bulimia, point of no return passed long ago. Why not find a distraction tonight to block memories of the bullying? A movie or show. It wasn't your fault and you didn't deserve to have these bad memories bc of awful irrelevant people from way in the past. But I know its hard to forget.

Feel free to private message me whenever you like, I've never actually met anybody else who has this condition so even chatting about it might be therapeutic.

1st a late welcome, as it is so nice having you as a new friend.

My heart broke reading your thread, as no one should ever have anyone being negative towards a fellow human ever. In fact, I cried, as I had, a very long time ago, I am 67, but in high school, still remember, I was very poor, no dentist, or heck anything, and yes, the looks and laughs, painful yet to this day. In fact my "parents" called me "the mistake".

I really want you to know that you are a very loving and kind soul, your entire thread makes that very clear. I know just how hard it can be, but try and focus on the fact, that I care about you deeply. I aspect about me is that I am 100% true blue and after all the decades of garbage that I have been through, I love helping folks out so much.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, love and sunny blue skies to enjoy, as you mean so much to me as a good friend.

Walter

Real first name, my folks were from Germany, I am in the U.S.

Thank you for the kind words.

I'm sorry you have to go through this but actually you can fix your teeth there're professional ways to have "3rd teeth" that are perfect. Ofc it's only a question of money but I think this'd be the easiest problem to be fixed. Welcome to the forum I hope you find benefits here!

Yeah I've toyed with the idea of flying abroad to get them fixed. I probably could afford it but the body dysmorphic part of my brain feels like I could hate them worse than I already do. Also the thought of meeting people with brand new white teeth gives me anxiety as it would be such a drastic difference to what they currently look like.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

I understand exactly especially in the teeth department. My family was very neglectful about physical well-being, that apathy also led to me never taking care of my appearance and especially my teeth. They never cared to go to dentists until we didn't have insurance for a while and i spent a long chunk of my life with chipped and broken teeth. Eating was painful. I slammed my head against walls constantly screaming in agony.

A few years ago my mother finally saved enough money (my current insurance does not cover dental so we had to pay out of pocket) to get all of them removed and replaced with dentures. Just the top teeth. My bottom teeth are still somewhat fine. I saw your reply about the colour of the teeth, if it's anything like where I live, you get to pick a certain shade. I picked one that was only slightly yellowish/realistic in tone as just pure white colour would looked pretty off-putting with my bottom teeth not being so pure themselves.

It took many many many years of agony for it to happen to me, I no longer cry in pain over my teeth. It happened for me, it can definitely happen for you one day!

 

[SadLad]

I understand exactly especially in the teeth department. My family was very neglectful about physical well-being, that apathy also led to me never taking care of my appearance and especially my teeth. They never cared to go to dentists until we didn't have insurance for a while and i spent a long chunk of my life with chipped and broken teeth. Eating was painful. I slammed my head against walls constantly screaming in agony.

A few years ago my mother finally saved enough money (my current insurance does not cover dental so we had to pay out of pocket) to get all of them removed and replaced with dentures. Just the top teeth. My bottom teeth are still somewhat fine. I saw your reply about the colour of the teeth, if it's anything like where I live, you get to pick a certain shade. I picked one that was only slightly yellowish/realistic in tone as just pure white colour would looked pretty off-putting with my bottom teeth not being so pure themselves.

It took many many many years of agony for it to happen to me, I no longer cry in pain over my teeth. It happened for me, it can definitely happen for you one day!

That's great. How old are you? Thankfully I don't have any physical pain. Just mental turmoil of the at least 50 or so occasions where I've been victimised over them.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

That's great. How old are you? Thankfully I don't have any physical pain. Just mental turmoil of the at least 50 or so occasions where I've been victimised over them.

I'm 31. I didn't get the denture until I was... 27? It was in 2020. I had caps on my teeth as a child and over the years I've had to have some teeth surgically removed because they were a hassle and we couldn't afford a full procedure yet at the time.

For my bottom teeth I still have empty gums there where I've had a couple of the teeth surgically removed.

 

[SadLad]

I'm 31. I didn't get the denture until I was... 27? It was in 2020. I had caps on my teeth as a child and over the years I've had to have some teeth surgically removed because they were a hassle and we couldn't afford a full procedure yet at the time.

For my bottom teeth I still have empty gums there where I've had a couple of the teeth surgically removed.

Sounds traumatising. God I wish I was normal and just brushed my damn teeth like everyone else. I was around 13 when I stopped brushing and nobody even challenged me. I blame my parents a lot as I was only a child they should have been more attentive to the situation. Like I said I was 19 when I started looking after myself. That's 6 years of irreversible neglect. Wow I'm miserable.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you've been through, I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much, existence is just too cruel. But anyway best wishes.