Venting my soul wants out

[Vesiira]

i'm quite literally at my wits end. i'm constantly suffering, i'm in pain mentally, i'm a failure of a person. my mental and physical health have plummeted this last year. i barely have energy to get out of bed, to socialize. i am unemployed because of all this which makes me feel like a fucking loser. i'm so tired of living. all everything does is make me angry! i'm sad all the time! i'm in pain! i can't keep living like this! i'm going to give up soon! i can feel it! i'll probably CTB soon!
i'm not sure how much longer i can keep this up. i just constantly keep getting hurt by others. starting to feel like i deserve the pain. my soul is quite done.

 

[just_a_guy]

I'm sorry that you're going through this, it sounds like there's so many areas of your life that are contributing to how you're feeling so it's understandable. Out of curiosity, if you could push one of two buttons right now and things instantly change, which button would you push? Green : you have a job, you have energy, you don't get angry with everything, you're generally happy. OR Red : you die instantly.

 

[Vesiira]

I'm sorry that you're going through this, it sounds like there's so many areas of your life that are contributing to how you're feeling so it's understandable. Out of curiosity, if you could push one of two buttons right now and things instantly change, which button would you push? Green : you have a job, you have energy, you don't get angry with everything, you're generally happy. OR Red : you die instantly.

The small part in me that wishes to get better wants to say Green, but the part of me that is in so much pain right now is screaming Red. That does give me something to think about though. Thank you for that question. <3

 

[just_a_guy]

The small part in me that wishes to get better wants to say Green, but the part of me that is in so much pain right now is screaming Red. That does give me something to think about though. Thank you for that question. <3

I'm glad it's given you something to think about. I was also at a place in my life where I had the hope of green but the red reality and as much as I wanted it to be as easy as a push of a button it takes work to dig yourself out of that dark hole. I wish you all the best with your decision and please feel free to dm me any time

 

[skies]

life really does suck, im sorry u have to go through all this misery, i hope it gets better

 

[Vesiira]

life really does suck, im sorry u have to go through all this misery, i hope it gets better

it sure does. thanks for the kind words. i do hope so too, as well as i hope it does for you.

 

[mertvets]

i hope you get better soon... i don't think being unemployed makes you a loser. work is miserable and can make things worse when you're at a low point already.

i definitely feel your frustration...

 

[Vesiira]

i hope you get better soon... i don't think being unemployed makes you a loser. work is miserable and can make things worse when you're at a low point already.

i definitely feel your frustration...

i hope so too. thank you, that's sweet of you to say. everyone in my family expects me to just get better quick and find a job, when that's easier said than done. sigh. sorry you feel it too. :/ <3

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Sorry you are going through this. This world is incredibly harsh and its no wonder it makes you feel like this.
None of this is your fault, and I honestly wouldn't say you deserve to feel pain, yet I understand what you mean.

 

[Vesiira]

Sorry you are going through this. This world is incredibly harsh and its no wonder it makes you feel like this.
None of this is your fault, and I honestly wouldn't say you deserve to feel pain, yet I understand what you mean.

It really is harsh. I'm sure all of us constantly wonder why, why it is so harsh to us. I wish we could know why, but who knows if that would help. It is such a weird feeling, I wish I could explain it better. It's like it hurts so much and so often to the point where you feel like it was destined to happen, I guess! Thanks so much for your kind words. <3

 

[venin.n]

i'm quite literally at my wits end. i'm constantly suffering, i'm in pain mentally, i'm a failure of a person. my mental and physical health have plummeted this last year. i barely have energy to get out of bed, to socialize. i am unemployed because of all this which makes me feel like a fucking loser. i'm so tired of living. all everything does is make me angry! i'm sad all the time! i'm in pain! i can't keep living like this! i'm going to give up soon! i can feel it! i'll probably CTB soon!
i'm not sure how much longer i can keep this up. i just constantly keep getting hurt by others. starting to feel like i deserve the pain. my soul is quite done.

I'm pretty sure you don't deserve the pain or any pain at all for that matter. You are not alone friend.

You are seen and appreciated here

 

[Vesiira]

I'm pretty sure you don't deserve the pain or any pain at all for that matter. You are not alone friend.

You are seen and appreciated here

Thank you so much. You aren't either.
I see you too.

 

[venin.n]

Thank you so much. You aren't either.
I see you too.

Thank you

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence, it's dreadful how people have to suffer so much but anyway best wishes.

 

[Vesiira]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence, it's dreadful how people have to suffer so much but anyway best wishes.

It is so dreadful. Best wishes to you too. <3