Venting My social life sucks asss

[we'll laugh again]

I keep ranting on my twitter about loneliness but maybe it's better for me to spill my thoughts here with likeminded(?) people. Loneliness really has such a huge toll on my life. I had always crave for a tight knit social circle, since young. Everyone I have befriended, it feels like there is this thick glass wall between us. Maybe it's just me. It's hard for me to fully get myself out there. I really can't describe this feeling, only those who went through this might understand. Whenever I find people irl w/the same interests it seems like they are never fully into us being good friends, but of course it's up to them. I try to involve myself in conversations but I always sense this vibe that I'm not wanted there and I'm annoying. I don't understand how to I get myself out there without being that ~one weird kid~. I'm really loud, sometimes maybe too extremely loud for people. I don't really see a great future for me. I see a lonely one for me actually. I mean in a few years time I'll have a full body autonomy of an adult. I see myself quitting my job and isolating myself, like what I periodically do in my early teens till now. Just rotting in my room till my death. Maybe this is a tell tale sign or maybe I just need a new coping mechanism. When I'm no longer in my youthful prime, when I'm living alone, when I outlive my pets. I don't and will not find the need to live anymore. Who is gonna stop me when I'm in my depressive episodes? I'll just commit suicide and my body will rot and be infested with maggots in my apartment. I'm sure my body will lay there for months since people find it troublesome to contact authorities for a welfare check. I'm 16, turning 17. I can't do this anymore, where I'll have to attain the highest education qualifications ever or else I'll be stuck miserable and alone working some dead end job I hate all because I happen to live in my country. I'm sick of this

 

[charlotte_]

I totally understand this feeling. A lot of people only find where they belong to when they've reached the 20s, late 20s, or even later, and some never find that at all so you're not alone. I find it such an irony that humans are made social creatures, yet not many could fit into society. That feeling of never being accepted is a tragic thing that I too, went through. I really don't know what advices I could give you, but I hope you don't see yourself any less deserving even if no one cares about you. You are different but not weird, it is just that the world doesn't allow people like us to have an easy time. Anyway, I wish you the best
PS: admin already said it but yea minors aren't allowed, sorry can't help you with this now but hopefully my response helps you a bit

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that for so many in this world loneliness can be painful but the unfortunate reality is that you cannot rely on other people anyway, with other people often just creating more problems and suffering. Life really is so unnecessary cruel and I get that it's awful having dread for the future but anyway I wish you the best.

And it's sad to me how the OP will be removed from the site as I believe that they deserve somewhere to write down their thoughts, they were just venting their perfectly valid feelings and not harming anyone but anyway it's not my site.

 

[OceanBlue]

I'm sorry that irresponsible adults brought you into existence and now collectively keep you prisoner here in so many ways.

I hope your life turns out the way you want it to.