My SN regime.

[Un-]

It's getting closer. I've already said goodbye to the people I've wanted to: the people I'm friends with on the forum already know what's up.. And I've said everything I wanted to.

I'm still unsure of when I'm gonna go. I'm.. Aiming for today. I'm feeling particularly horrible, and it's the perfect mood to overcome SI.

Right. The regime. It's nothing special:
- 7 hour fast
- At the 7th hour of the fast, I'll prepare the mixture:
- two cups of around 75ml of water
- 25 grams of SN dissolved in each
- after preparing them, I'll just down one while lying down.

I don't have any other substances to help the process go smoother. But, at least affording to the PPEH, the simpler it is, the better. Besides, I have quite a strong stomach.

My only hesitation is that my SN doesn't show it's purity. I'll have to do the blood test before.

I have to also make sure that I'm alone for at least 40 minutes to an hour.

I'll make an official goodbye post before I drink the SN.

I'm currently wiping all my devices and stuff. I've already fucked up my privacy, by not using a something akin to VPN, because regardless if everything on my device is wiped, my ISP has my data. But I'm hoping the people who want to investigate don't go that far.

That's it, I think. Do you guys have any suggestions?

 

[MidnightDream]

No suggestions really, pretty sure you know what you're doing. Just make sure you don't choke if you're drinking whilst laying down - I know that's something my dumbass would do.
Maybe see if you can be alone for a bit longer than that too? Just in case, really.
Other than that, I just wanna say that although we've never really spoken, I've seen your posts around here and your presence will be missed here a lot, not only by your friends but by a lot of people. I know I'll miss your energy round here.
I'll keep an eye out for the goodbye post, but if you are going today then I want to wish you peace for these last few hours :)

 

[Un-]

Maybe see if you can be alone for a bit longer than that too? Just in case, really.

I'm doing it at 12 in the night. So I'll be alone for hours.

Other than that, I just wanna say that although we've never really spoken, I've seen your posts around here and your presence will be missed here a lot, not only by your friends but by a lot of people. I know I'll miss your energy round here.

I don't think I'm that memorable. But thank you.

 

[peacetime]

What you layed out seems like the way to go for an SN CTB.
I just got an email that my SN is being sent out, which I ordered like a month ago already. Already ordered from another source in the mean time.

Today has been one of the typical depressed days I have and if I had my SN, I would be gone today. In a way though, I am "okay" with forcing myself for the next 2 weeks still. I'm about to force myself to go watch some stupid movie at a theater.

Anyway, I'll be joining you soon most likely, not that I'm recommending you to CTB. I don't feel like egging anyone on.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really hope you can find the peace you seek. You will definitely be missed around here but that's the nature of this place. It's a waiting room in a way. I hope it all goes smoothly if you choose to go ahead with it. Otherwise, I hope you can also find peace in the decision if you choose to postpone for now. Either way- good luck, safe travels and I hope you find freedom.

 

[MidnightDream]

I'm doing it at 12 in the night. So I'll be alone for hours.


I don't think I'm that memorable. But thank you.

Sounds like you're sorted then :)
And yeah, I know it's kinda weird to think of people knowing who you are when you've never interacted with them, but that's why I wanted to say what I said. You've impacted a lot of people here, probably more than you realise. You absolutely are memorable - and I hope knowing that maybe brings you some additional peace moving forward

 

[Un-]

Sounds like you're sorted then :)
And yeah, I know it's kinda weird to think of people knowing who you are when you've never interacted with them, but that's why I wanted to say what I said. You've impacted a lot of people here, probably more than you realise. You absolutely are memorable - and I hope knowing that maybe brings you some additional peace moving forward

Don't make me cry. Please heh.

 

[MidnightDream]

Don't make me cry. Please heh.

Hahaha I'm sorry. Sending you love. Dms are open if you need anyone to talk to over the next few hours

 

[Un-]

Oh no when I have discussed doing this, I have no access to anything other than SN I was warned over and over it won't work without antimetics etc. or that it's I'll be excruciating and take hours and hours to die. I haven't done it yet and have been suffering for this reason but now I see no one warning.

Most recommended drugs just decrease the chances of vomiting. The others do other things. But taking SN raw, depending on who you are, won't be painful at all. Discomforting, probably, but not painful.

 

[FuneralCry]

You are so incredibly lucky to be leaving this nightmare world soon. I envy you.

 

[MidnightDream]

I have read blogs on Reddit and know a couple nurses who watched someone die from it and said it was horrific. So without other drugs I am afraid to feel seizures etc.
I am not sure why ppl bother to follow a protocol if what you are saying is true -makes no sense.

I don't think this is really a helpful comment given the context of this post?
SN can and has worked without additional drugs. The antiemetics, as @Un- said, are designed to reduce discomfort and decrease the risk of vomiting. That's about it.
At the end of the day, it's a poison. It's not exactly supposed to be a fun time. But what you witness can often be entirely different to what the person themselves is experiencing - Seizures, odd breathing etc often doesn't even occur until the person is out cold, and most likely won't even feel it.
Your fears are valid, and you should absolutely continue researching to solidify your own opinion, but commenting things like this on someone's post who's clearly at peace with their decision really isn't helpful to anyone.

 

[Un-]

You are so incredibly lucky to be leaving this nightmare world soon. I envy you.

I always thought to myself that, if assisted suicide were available wherever you are, you deserve to be the first person in line. I don't mean that mockingly, but sympathetically.

I have read blogs on Reddit and know a couple nurses who watched someone die from it and said it was horrific. So without other drugs I am afraid to feel seizures etc.
I am not sure why ppl bother to follow a protocol if what you are saying is true -makes no sense.

They use other drugs to make the process smoother. There's not much else to it.

 

[MidnightDream]

If you are able to read through posts I have posted similar ppl commented the same. I don't know that it was helpful but it made me do further research. I am very desperate to have this work and have read everything so hoping this person knows something new for myself to go ahead as well.

Can you try to keep us posted if you can and are planning soon

At the end of the day, it's all discourse. No one truly knows what happens in those final moments, because those people aren't here to tell us. Not everyone can access antiemetics, and some are okay with that, some aren't. It's gotta be your decision, but there's no point trying to scare others who have made theirs already.