My sleeping is messed up and it sucks

[trying ungracefully]

I'm bipolar so it might be related to that but I am still tired and not really elevated, only restless, so I don't know.

My sleeping has always been messed up where I would wake up a couple times a night but I never really cared because I would go back to sleep right away and I'd still get up to 10 hours of sleep. Now I wake up after 4-5 hours of sleep and then can only sleep for an hour at a time after that. And then it gets hard to go back to sleep at some points.

It sucks not having good sleep. Sleep is literally a full break where I shouldn't have to worry about anything but now I am worried my disrupted sleep can lead to mania if it isn't already happening already and I just don't notice. I love my dreams too even if I don't remember them all the time. Every now and then there will be one dream that sticks out and usually it brings comfort or just a different life POV.

I hate being awake with nothing to do. My days feel so long and I just can't wait for sleep but now that sucks now. I am going to see if my psychiatrist can prescribe something because even 10mg of melatonin isn't working and I used a cart meant for insomnia last night. I want a break from life again so bad and it has only been a week.

 

[painfully]

I also tend to wake up a lot in bed... I tried ashawadanga and it worked for me, I tend to sleep all night with it. You can get it on amazon but be careful and try to avoid the very diluted ones. Mine was 50:1 (40 gr in 2000 gr), but there are better ones like 20:1. Some dont tell it because they are bad. I take 4 pills of these and I sleep all night.