Venting My Rapist Won Yesterday. (Part 2) (҂ `з´) ︻╦̵̵̿╤──

[CicisDoingUnwell]

☆ ── ꒰ (𝑪 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈...)
Now that I have a clear head, I want to get a few things off my chest here, because I can't get them off my chest anywhere else.

I lost my court case yesterday. Can I handle it? I don't know yet, to be honest. Do I want to die? Yes, because it's so uncomfortable for me.

So what was the reason I lost it?
I gave three different statements, which made me seem untrustworthy.

But why is that? Why do people give different statements?
Because trauma changes your mind. Only now, after a year, can I roughly assess how the whole thing unfolded.
Besides, I was 17, wtf...

Ultimately, no charges were filed, so what's the plan now?
Either I file a complaint in two weeks
or
I just try to never talk about it again and somehow deal with it while getting therapy
or
I kill myself.

All the pain I had to go through and am still going through is so unbearable, but I think everyone on this site can relate.
☆ ── 𝑩𝒚𝒆; 𝑪! ꒱

 

[Parnate]

So sorry for you. I don't know what to say or how I can help you.

 

[CicisDoingUnwell]

So sorry for you. I don't know what to say or how I can help you.

Thank u luv <3
I have emergency therapy today so lets give it a shot, i think talking will help a lot right now

 

[EmptyBottle]

File a complaint... and ask your lawyers for a copy of your statements so you can point out which parts are the most accurate to the best of your knowledge, and they can work from there.

 

[itsgone2]

So sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you're trying therapy first.

 

[mangoastronaut]

Fuck, that's terrible. I'm so sorry this happened.

I do hope you file a complaint, but I understand if you don't. You've already been fighting this huge battle which is seemingly impossible to beat in this society with rape culture ingrained in it. It certainly is easier to quit the fight.