Venting My ‘problems’ are insignificant

[Vaermina8]

Idk why I'm here, I should be feeling perfectly happy and ok. Objectively I am better off than other people. If someone else were in my shoes they would be able to shrug all of this off like it's nothing, but I can't. I'm just a horrible selfish person, anyone else could easily deflect that thought but I can't. I'm just selfish because I want to hate myself, I give myself reasons why I'm awful. Like how instead of trying to fix myself I only selfishly wallow in misery. Or how I'm probably only speaking here to tick off a check mark in my brain that makes me feel heard. I'm sure a better person would find a solution and fix themselves but I don't want that. I can't even cut myself because I'm too afraid, instead I punch myself just because Ik I deserve it for even thinking like this. It's all just so idiotic, like how I want to accomplish something but at the same time I tear myself down. Hell my parents are getting divorced and people should just be able to move on but because of my selfishness I make it all about me. How I could've maybe helped in a way or I should've helped cement the happy memories. And wallow in that misery instead. Idk why I'm trying to hate myself, idk why. Sorry for the rant, these problems are just so insignificant that I'm sure anyone could solve them in a day of walking in my shoes, I just can't.

 

[thebookofdisquiet]

There's no problem ranking, you know? No one can be the judge and decide what's insignificant and what's worth crying about it, if it brings you pain then you don't need to downplay it.
Your desire to make yourself suffer and hurt is a sign that something's not right, you're not selfish or weak for being unable to change, especially if you don't WANT to change, this shows that...you're sick.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but just know that your feelings are valid.

 

[アホペンギン]

Your problems are not insignificant, some people think differently than others in terms of emotions and they are a lot more sensitive. You are maybe one of those people. For someone else, your problems wouldn't be a big deal and they would shrug it off but its your mentality that makes you like this and theres nothing you can do about it. Your problems are valid. Do not think otherwise, ever. And you are not selfish, maybe others would label you as selfish but thats because they don't understand whats really going on.

 

[Holu]

As it is, the concept of another "walking in your shoes" is a generally unfair self assessment, as it disregards the person you are. Though you might see vastly more horrific and hopeless scenarios in others, it's ultimately meaningless, as at the end of the day, you are you, and you have had the unfortunate fate of walking in your shoes. Trauma comparing is incredibly ineffective in an attempt to better one's mood and reshape their life. Ultimately, you are you, and nobody will be or experience what it's like to be you.

As for why it could be thrown up to genetics. Some people are literally just born sadder than others. Not to mention mental illnesses which are genetic in origin. Furthermore, even a better off environment creates multiple opportunities for someone to become troubled. In fact, some studies show that wealthier countries, and especially the children of wealthier families higher rates of anxiety and depression than those of poorer or worse off. Finally, it's also possibly not helpful that the people around you might just not be depressed or as caring. Then again, I don't know this aspect of your situation so can't say much.

Finally, onto SH scratching, biting, tearing, and even pinching are still technically SH. If your concerned about long term damage a particularly painful method of self harm that isn't going to have a messy or scratchy consequence would be to dunk your hand in a bucket of ice water, get a metal rod, heat it slightly to where it's not burning hot, but somewhat warm, and immediately after transferring your freezing hand to the warm metal. This will result in an extremely painful sensation, which will have the same emotional suppressing effects that cutting does. Continually grabbing onto the metal will maintain this stimuli(duh) and allow for continuous pain. To be safe, be sure your hand isn't frostbite levels of cold and the rod isn't burning levels of heat. And wallah, you have created a self torturing device!

On a serious note I'm sorry you feel this way. Life is brutal, regardless of who you are, and no matter what you can escape suffering. Whilst I know I can convince you otherwise, at least consider being a tad bit kinder on yourself. Whilst it might feel easy to think you're being selfish or are simply weaker, the truth is that somehow someway it just went south and continued downwards.

Oh and as an edit, while the ice/fire method might sound appealing it's still SH and unironically might be one of the most painful stimuli you can subject your self to. Typically swiftly dunking ur hand into ice is the more ethical method of triggering physical pain.

 

[Zegers]

Depression is not insignificant

Furthermore, even a better off environment creates multiple opportunities for someone to become troubled. In fact, some studies show that wealthier countries, and especially the children of wealthier families higher rates of anxiety and depression than those of poorer or worse off

This is simply fake. I remember i used to read about it in suicide cases and i started to search about it, what i found is not any official study but mh doctors denying it, they always use for this fake example South Korea, maybe it has to do with an extremely appearance and status based society.

Poverty is a trigger for depression and other mental problems.

 

[Forever Sleep]

No ones problems are insignificant. If they are preventing them from enjoying life- they are a problem. Doesn't matter whether people could do better in your shoes- they're not you. There will be people out there with easier circumstances than you feeling awful at this very moment- I doubt you'd belittle them- so- try not to belittle yourself.

The ONLY time I'd say thinking like this was 'healthy' was if it motivated you to change- and if you didn't REALLY believe it. Otherwise- I don't see that feeling all this guilt and shame and self loathing is going to do anything but make you feel worse. I doubt that really helps though- to change it. I'm sorry. But someone hating and abusing themselves is enough to show there IS a problem.

I can't see how you could be responsible for your parents though. They are their own selves. It's good for you to be supportive and caring to both but honestly- what kind of relationship would it be if it relied on the child to keep it together? It needs to be up to them to decide what to do. I wish you could stop blaming yourself for everything.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No personal "problems" are insignificant! How could they be insignificant at all when they are affecting you, your health and probably mental health? All of them are legit! Even if you come to your own conclusion that only one of them will lead to considering CTB then even that is legit because it's about you and your personal welbeing.

I hope you can find peace and I wish you all the best!

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that all suffering is perfectly valid, it doesn't matter if other people are technically in worse situations, if people are affected by whatever problems they've been burdened with I don't think it makes them insignificant. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Holu]

Depression is not insignificant


This is simply fake. I remember i used to read about it in suicide cases and i started to search about it, what i found is not any official study but mh doctors denying it, they always use for this fake example South Korea, maybe it has to do with an extremely appearance and status based society.

Poverty is a trigger for depression and other mental problems.

Made me open my psych textbook for this. You are very much welcome to bash the study, but it's very much real.

The Study

"The percentage of the screen-positive respondents who had lifetime MDE was also higher in high-income (28.1%) than in low- to middle-income (19.8%) countries, although both the lowest and the highest percentages were in low- to middle-income countries (12.0% in China vs. 35.9% in India)."

Now, for all intents and purposes, this study technically could be fake. Granted, it would have to get through WHO's standards as well as the journal(BMC) it was published in. That's not to say that stuff hasn't been done before but it's up to your personal opinion.

Furthermore, I'm not sure what doctors you saw comment on this but if you would be willing to share I'd appreciate it greatly. That way, it can prevent me from spreading possible misinformation in the future or at least adding an addendum to the information.

Here are some other studies supporting
1
2
Here is a good summary of this information provided by the APA
3
Here is a counter study I found
4

Ultimately, the common consensus as of right now is that yes, wealthier people are more likely to be depressed. However, as with many other ideas(especially psychology studies) this is always subject to change with new information.

This isn't to say poverty isn't a possible factor in depression, nor is it to say that wealth isnt a possible deterrent. The idea that wealthier people are more depressed is a well commented upon idea because it's paradoxical!

Please let me know if I missed anything. Once again, it's possible that I'm mistaken, and if this is the case I'd really appreciate so that again, I can refrain from spreading misinformation or add an addendum to it. Thank you!

Edit: So I just did a google search and read some of the articles around this idea and I can understand why you would have confusion for the study. Some articles had it, whilst some, like Forbes didn't. I still get the confusion you may have had tho.

 

[pieck's-bongwater]

Made me open my psych textbook for this. You are very much welcome to bash the study, but it's very much real.

The Study

"The percentage of the screen-positive respondents who had lifetime MDE was also higher in high-income (28.1%) than in low- to middle-income (19.8%) countries, although both the lowest and the highest percentages were in low- to middle-income countries (12.0% in China vs. 35.9% in India)."

Now, for all intents and purposes, this study technically could be fake. Granted, it would have to get through WHO's standards as well as the journal(BMC) it was published in. That's not to say that stuff hasn't been done before but it's up to your personal opinion.

Furthermore, I'm not sure what doctors you saw comment on this but if you would be willing to share I'd appreciate it greatly. That way, it can prevent me from spreading possible misinformation in the future or at least adding an addendum to the information.

Here are some other studies supporting
1
2
Here is a good summary of this information provided by the APA
3
Here is a counter study I found
4

Ultimately, the common consensus as of right now is that yes, wealthier people are more likely to be depressed. However, as with many other ideas(especially psychology studies) this is always subject to change with new information.

This isn't to say poverty isn't a possible factor in depression, nor is it to say that wealth isnt a possible deterrent. The idea that wealthier people are more depressed is a well commented upon idea because it's paradoxical!

Please let me know if I missed anything. Once again, it's possible that I'm mistaken, and if this is the case I'd really appreciate so that again, I can refrain from spreading misinformation or add an addendum to it. Thank you!

Edit: So I just did a google search and read some of the articles around this idea and I can understand why you would have confusion for the study. Some articles had it, whilst some, like Forbes didn't. I still get the confusion you may have had tho.

One study doesn't mean it's suddenly truth. What was the sample size? What country was surveyed? Statistics are incredibly inaccurate most of the time.

I will never believe for a moment that poor people are "happier" than wealthy people. So fucking dumb...

 

[Holu]

One study doesn't mean it's suddenly truth. What was the sample size? What country was surveyed? Statistics are incredibly inaccurate most of the time.

I will never believe for a moment that poor people are "happier" than wealthy people. So fucking dumb...

Dawg before you go spazzin out please look at the study. Firstly, it's done by WHO, which means it's going to encompass quite a large population. But it quite literally says, 18 countries 89,000 people.

"Data from 18 countries were analyzed in this report (n = 89,037). All countries surveyed representative, population-based samples of adults."

Furthermore, I posted two supporting studies as well as a statement from the APA about it. You are entitled to your opinion to not believe it, but at least take a second to look at it.

Additionally, I don't even think you read my post. I never said it was the truth, admitted it's subject to change should future info compel professionals differently, and can still be biased in a way you don't appreciate. I'm just making the statement to BACK up a piece of information I stated. This is for people to check me in case I'm spreading misinformation, which I don't wanna do.

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

I understand you, I also often think that my reason may not be important in terms of other people. I have a lot of things in my life that other people would have like beauty etc and I'm sure someone else would take advantage of that to live a happy, healthy life, however I can't. I think that for each person the reason has a different meaning and clothed power. I'm sorry that you found yourself in a similar situation as me....