enviro400mmc
#1 cake123 fanboy
- Nov 27, 2022
- 101
When suicide first became a really major part of my life I was always depressed about something. There were things I could not bear to live with, people I was angry at and deep anxieties I had. But recently I sense that changing. The idea of living a life to my ideal standard of living and quality of life no longer seems enticing. I don't feel any urge to get on with doing something with my life anymore, whether that is ending it or trying to speedrun recovery. I see little reason to be bothered about people who used to live in my head for negative sums of rent.
Sometimes I wonder if I could just give up on life without CTBing. Give up having any ambitions, make no attempt to form relationships outside my family, stop chasing some abstract concept of happiness. I could live in a semi-vegitative state, bankrolled by my family in exchange for the fact I would not kill myself. I think I'd get fed up pretty quickly...
Sometimes I wonder if I could just give up on life without CTBing. Give up having any ambitions, make no attempt to form relationships outside my family, stop chasing some abstract concept of happiness. I could live in a semi-vegitative state, bankrolled by my family in exchange for the fact I would not kill myself. I think I'd get fed up pretty quickly...
