My plan tonight

[iwashere]

Okay, I think i've decided to CTB by carbon monoxide poisoning. I drive a 2012 mini cooper coupe S, the inside space is about 2.1 Cubic Meters. it's a very small two seater. I have a cooking pot ten inches wide and 5 inches deep (photo attached without the charcoal.) If i fill this pot to the brim with charcoal, light it on fire, let the coals get red hot, leave it in my car for about 30-40 minutes (and during this time i will ingest two sleeping pills), enter the car and fall asleep, do you think the pot will have produced enough CO2? Should I bring two pots full? Or is that unnecessary. I also have a round, metal disc that's on the floor so I can put the hot pot down on it without burning the surrounding area (photo attached.) I will attach photos of the pot in question and the interior of my car—it is extremely small, probably smaller than a shower.

Some things to note:
>>>I do not have a co2 monitor and i do not care to wait another day to buy one. This is happening tonight

>>>I have already selected a secluded location to do this. It is the same spot I went to a week ago but it failed as the coals never stopped burning, and my phone was about to die.

>>>I will light the coals now so at around 10:30-11ish Central Time USA (it's currently 9:10) the fire should be out so that isn't a problem like last time. I will check on them every so often as to ensure they don't ash.

>>>Im bringing an ample amount of Ibuprofen in case I get a headache. I will be taking these around 10 minutes before go time.

>>>I'll cover the vents but I don't know If i want to go to the lengths to tape the outside of my car to seal it, as I feel like SI will kick in and I will pussy out. I will keep the air in the car recirculating, however if it is absolutely imperative to seal the outside of the car I will do so I suppose


Idk, pls let me know your thoughts on my plan. I almost forgot to attach the photos so I will do so now.

 

[wham311]

How did you find your location

 

[iwashere]

How did you find your location

I have a lot of little secluded spots around town that I'd go to whenever I'd feel sad and maybe write a voice memo to myself. Unfortunately someone will find me, but in the areas i'm considering there shouldn't be any kids. Push comes to shove i'll really go to an area where nobody finds me but I don't think i want to stand outside of my car for 40 minutes in the dark LOL

 

[darksouls]

wish you the best
hope you find the relief you search for

 

[LeavingEarly]

How many lbs of charcoal are you using?

I need help too. My bathroom is 360 feet by 3...

Do I need atleast 3 pounds of charcoal?

 

[iwashere]

wish you the best
hope you find the relief you search for

Thank you kindly! I hope so as well.

How many lbs of charcoal are you using?

I need help too. My bathroom is 360 feet by 3...

Do I need atleast 3 pounds of charcoal?

No clue, I'll fill the pot up right now and let you know.

How many lbs of charcoal are you using?

I need help too. My bathroom is 360 feet by 3...

Do I need atleast 3 pounds of charcoal?

hi queen just crunched the numbers, i'm using 6 pounds and 9.3oz of charcoal That's about the entire pot filled to the brim.

 

[LeavingEarly]

Thank you kindly! I hope so as well.

No clue, I'll fill the pot up right now and let you know.

hi queen just crunched the numbers, i'm using 6 pounds and 9.3oz of charcoal That's about the entire pot filled to the brim.

That sounds like enough for sure. I don't know if I have enough. How are you lighting all that?

 

[iwashere]

That sounds like enough for sure. I don't know if I have enough. How are you lighting all that?

Kingsman lighter fluid, like grill starter. I didn't want to use that last time cause i'm scared of fire lowkey haha so i thought i was literally going to cause an explosion in the parking lot. I'm not going to use as much this time so the fire goes out quicker. I'm going to go to the location and light it soon

That sounds like enough for sure. I don't know if I have enough. How are you lighting all that?

I'm also going to use matches to light it so i don't burn my hands. I have an intense phobia of fear so i really want this as painless as possible, hence the ibuprofen don't think id be able to deal w an intense migraine before i die

 

[LeavingEarly]

Kingsman lighter fluid, like grill starter. I didn't want to use that last time cause i'm scared of fire lowkey haha so i thought i was literally going to cause an explosion in the parking lot. I'm not going to use as much this time so the fire goes out quicker. I'm going to go to the location and light it soon

I'm also going to use matches to light it so i don't burn my hands. I have an intense phobia of fear so i really want this as painless as possible, hence the ibuprofen don't think id be able to deal w an intense migraine before i die

I have everything out and ready too. I am just scared to death to die. I am out of money though and can't be homeless again. Today is my birthday :( .
You sound like you are not scared...

 

[iwashere]

I have everything out and ready too. I am just scared to death to die. I am out of money though and can't be homeless again. Today is my birthday :( .
You sound like you are not scared...

happy birthday! my birthday was five days ago. I was going to do it before my 21st birthday but i remembered i promised my friends id spend my birthday with them!! And believe me im terrified haha. I just know that whatever is beyond this is better than whatever this is. I am stalling again though hahaha i was supposed to have started the charcoals already. My mind is leaning more towards it as the night goes on though so im confident this is happening tonight

 

[LeavingEarly]

happy birthday! my birthday was five days ago. I was going to do it before my 21st birthday but i remembered i promised my friends id spend my birthday with them!! And believe me im terrified haha. I just know that whatever is beyond this is better than whatever this is. I am stalling again though hahaha i was supposed to have started the charcoals already. My mind is leaning more towards it as the night goes on though so im confident this is happening tonight

Thank you. Yeah I need to get out of here too. If I do it I want to die. I am tired of failed attempts partial hanging. I just want to die not be a vegetable.

 

[iwashere]

Thank you. Yeah I need to get out of here too. If I do it I want to die. I am tired of failed attempts partial hanging. I just want to die not be a vegetable.

Make sure you seal up that shower or place a lot of blankets and towels around. I saw another girl do that and it nearly worked for her, her SI just kicked in. I recommend taking a melatonin or something so you fall asleep before that happens. Make sure u keep flammable things (the blankets etc) away from your bucket of coal. You're in a shower which is more of a confined space so I'd like to assume you have enough charcoal, although i'm not sure visually what 2lbs of charcoal looks like. Regardless, I hope you find the peace you're searching for even if you choose that maybe this isn't the right choice for you. Warm wishes my love

 

[LeavingEarly]

Make sure you seal up that shower or place a lot of blankets and towels around. I saw another girl do that and it nearly worked for her, her SI just kicked in. I recommend taking a melatonin or something so you fall asleep before that happens. Make sure u keep flammable things (the blankets etc) away from your bucket of coal. You're in a shower which is more of a confined space so I'd like to assume you have enough charcoal, although i'm not sure visually what 2lbs of charcoal looks like. Regardless, I hope you find the peace you're searching for even if you choose that maybe this isn't the right choice for you. Warm wishes my love

Why the blankets? I was going to carry the grill in and put it in the shower. Then I was going to sit on the floor.

 

[iwashere]

Why the blankets? I was going to carry the grill in and put it in the shower. Then I was going to sit on the floor.

It leaves less surface area. it basically makes the space even smaller so you won't need as much charcoal, and since you said you're not sure if you have enough i figured you'd want to work with the smallest space possible. it also helps seal any gaps for the co2 to escape. make sure you're home alone or you could kill someone else. leave a note somewhere to let people know there is co2 in the area

 

[LeavingEarly]

It leaves less surface area. it basically makes the space even smaller so you won't need as much charcoal, and since you said you're not sure if you have enough i figured you'd want to work with the smallest space possible. it also helps seal any gaps for the co2 to escape. make sure you're home alone or you could kill someone else. leave a note somewhere to let people know there is co2 in the area

How is your process going? Are you going through with it tonight? I hope the best for you.

 

[iwashere]

How is your process going? Are you going through with it tonight? I hope the best for you.

im at my location, i'm re-recording a few videos. i was just about to light the charcoals and i remembered our conversation. im ab to put the pot outside to start the burning process

 

[LeavingEarly]

im at my location, i'm re-recording a few videos. i was just about to light the charcoals and i remembered our conversation. im ab to put the pot outside to start the burning process

I am trying to find some courage. Did you light them?

 

[iwashere]

I am trying to find some courage. Did you light them?

I have!! i lit them right after i sent the last message. don't let me be your courage though—if you're not ready you're not ready. i was in this exact same position last week and i couldn't do it. don't let me inspire you to commit to something you're not sure about this is just the right decision for me at the moment

I am trying to find some courage. Did you light them?

i'm currently waiting for the fire itself to go out it's been about an hour. however i expected it to take this long this time, just from my previous experience and other commenters.

 

[panda55]

Hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[iwashere]

Hope you find the peace you are looking for.

thank you so much!! i hope so too

 

[LeavingEarly]

I have!! i lit them right after i sent the last message. don't let me be your courage though—if you're not ready you're not ready. i was in this exact same position last week and i couldn't do it. don't let me inspire you to commit to something you're not sure about this is just the right decision for me at the moment

i'm currently waiting for the fire itself to go out it's been about an hour. however i expected it to take this long this time, just from my previous experience and other commenters.

I have to go. Out of money and homeless is terrible.

I hope you find peace and Heaven. God bless you.

 

[iwashere]

I have to go. Out of money and homeless is terrible.

I hope you find peace and Heaven. God bless you.

you as well

 

[Doll Steak]

I'm so sorry it had to come to this. just be gentle with yourself, okay? No matter what happens, peace will eventually arrive for us all. I hope you find yours.

 

[iwashere]

I have to go. Out of money and homeless is terrible.

I hope you find peace and Heaven. God bless you.

hi queen hope you're still around how did it go??

 

[LeavingEarly]

hi queen hope you're still around how did it go??

I am so scared to die...

 

[wham311]

thank you so much!! i hope so too

Hey what's the report

 

[iwashere]

Hey what's the report

heeeellllloooooo!! definitely some things to change for next time.

I'm going to bring the charcoals in earlier. I was under the impression that you had to let the fire die completely so i left the charcoals burning for about an hour and a half before i realized like… i think i have to bring them in now lol. so when i got into the car instead of passing out in like 30 seconds-1 min i lowkey stayed in there for about 2 minutes and during that time the car was uncomfortably hot, my heart started racing really fast and i got really dizzy like i was drunk. i should've taken more advil because the dizziness combined with the heat made for a really uncomfortable experience. so i opened the door really just so i could feel the breeze and i guess i just walked outside and laid next to my car on the ground. i then got up and opened the trunk. it was very robotic. i was then dizzy for about 20 minutes after the fact and i called a whole bunch of people and one of my friends picked up and drove to the location. i'm prob going to try again tonight or tomorrow. other than that it was extremely smooth. didn't hurt at all it was more just discomfort. im also going to take the sleeping pills wayyyy earlier so next time the discomfort won't even bother me because i'll be asleep.

 

[wham311]

heeeellllloooooo!! definitely some things to change for next time.

I'm going to bring the charcoals in earlier. I was under the impression that you had to let the fire die completely so i left the charcoals burning for about an hour and a half before i realized like… i think i have to bring them in now lol. so when i got into the car instead of passing out in like 30 seconds-1 min i lowkey stayed in there for about 2 minutes and during that time the car was uncomfortably hot, my heart started racing really fast and i got really dizzy like i was drunk. i should've taken more advil because the dizziness combined with the heat made for a really uncomfortable experience. so i opened the door really just so i could feel the breeze and i guess i just walked outside and laid next to my car on the ground. i then got up and opened the trunk. it was very robotic. i was then dizzy for about 20 minutes after the fact and i called a whole bunch of people and one of my friends picked up and drove to the location. i'm prob going to try again tonight or tomorrow. other than that it was extremely smooth. didn't hurt at all it was more just discomfort. im also going to take the sleeping pills wayyyy earlier so next time the discomfort won't even bother me because i'll be asleep.

What if you turned on the ac

 

[iwashere]

What if you turned on the ac

i didn't seal the car at all so i didn't want any of the co2 escaping or getting oxygen in the cabin so it turned into carbon dioxide instead of monoxide, which i heard is much more painful. you're already letting some oxygen inside the cabin by opening the door so i didn't want to risk letting even more inside by turning on the ac. next time im just going to lay down instead because in hindsight when i laid on the floor i felt much better. i don't know why i didn't just lay down in the car