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idiotstillwantstodie

Student
Nov 11, 2021
169
I've been thinking about my life a lot lately and no matter how i try to look at it, it seems that suicide is the only sensible solution to my existence. Here's my thoughts in a nutshell for anyone bored enough to read them:

Lets assume that "evil" points to the more unempathic and sadistic features we all have, more or less, and "good" point to the opposite kind of features. Most people are quite complicated and have both features in them. As we know, there are also people who are not all that complicated and really are just pure evil. I guess the opposite most be also true then, although since power doesn't really naturally come to people with little selfish qualities it's hard to point out a "celebrity" example of the latter. Let's try to look at life through these two extreme types of human behaviour.

The problem with human relations is that we really can't see each other that clearly. Most often when we really NEED to see the other person, that only happens when it's already too late and the damage is already done. Looking at the world through "i want to do good/i want to be good" glasses automatically makes you treat other people empathically. If you stick to this behaviour through your life, you might do some good to some people deserving it. But you will probably also come to support and empower some people who are not that good. Some of them might, and probably will be, simply evil. If you have the opposite look on life, the result will be exactly the opposite. You might get to hurt some people who really deserve it, but most likely will also hurt some undeserving people. Of course if you are fucked up enough in the head then in your eyes everyone will deserve it.

So then finally, the "neutral" look on life, accept that you can't really see people for what they are and thus shouldn't get too involved with them when not absolutely necessary and just concentrate on yourself. This seems to be the most sensible look, and the look most people will naturally adopt, since most people are emotionally naturally in the midfield of things. I've been trying to adopt this look as well but the problem is that to me, personally, life is just a disaster waiting to happen. I see trapped, suffering people everywhere (a hypersensitivity issue) and i'm just kind of anxiously waiting for my turn to get to taste the pain train. There is really nothing that would balance the scales against this horror in my life. My life is very pointless, uneventful and dull, when it's GOOD, as it seems to be with most people.

So the only real logical thing to do in the situation is to kill myself before i end up wishing i had done it when i had the chance. Living for the happiness you get from empowering people or the rush of power you get from taking their power away is simply not worth it because in the end you will just end up shitting on your own work. We are all blind and acting on the grip of illogical emotion and those smarter than us will always find a way to deceive us.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,470
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I understand, suicide is the only thing that makes sense for me. I think wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a life as horrible as this. There is unlimited potential for suffering after all.
 
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MelancholyMagic

MelancholyMagic

For my next trick, I will disappear
Dec 12, 2021
219
Looking at the world through "i want to do good/i want to be good" glasses automatically makes you treat other people empathically
I don't really know how others view the world. But I do think a lot of "evil" things happen because people think they are being good, even when they are truly awful.
Of course if you are fucked up enough in the head then in your eyes everyone will deserve it.
I resent this characterization! I say that jokingly. But everyone (myself included of course) has something awful about them. Even if they don't seem to, I am confident I could identify something. Does this mean people "deserve" bad things? No. Everyone, even really bad people, are here suffering just like us and are trying to make the best of it. That does not mean we can't do reasonable actions to prevent people from hurting us. But nobody really "deserves" anything in a certain sense, either good or bad.
personally, life is just a disaster waiting to happen
I love how you phrased this. We live in a minefield. Some people may be lucky to have avoided serious harm thus far, but eventually we all make the wrong step, with varying degrees of severity.
So the only real logical thing to do in the situation is to kill myself before i end up wishing i had done it when i had the change
I think I feel similarly to you. Even if I didn't want to die right now, the worry that I may not have the option in the future may force my hand. Now, if we had a universal RTD, this would not be the case. Stupid society

Thank you for sharing this post. I found it an interesting and valuable read.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,788
Sounds like your life is very focused on people. Have you tried becoming a gamer or an incel?
 
Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
I want to put a disclaimer that I'm neither pro death nor pro life.

If you want to look at life, and how it's intricacies and methodologies operate from a logical standpoint, simply looking at life as either a feedback mechanism of giving and gaining power is bad. Because there's a lot more to living than gaining, or giving power.

On a side note, your philosophy of people embodying differentiating elements of good and evil is sound, but that applies to all people. In which direction good and evil is propelled, is what constitutes confusion and the unjust conclusion that people can be either completely good or completely bad. For example, Hitler was bad towards the majority of ethnically different people to his idea of the Aryan race. But he was good towards heterosexual, obedient German folk with blue eyes and blonde hair. Good and evil, just in different directions. I am by no means justifying his actions; I'm just using him as an example.

Whilst it's true that good people can, unbeknownst to themselves, support people with evil intentions, and people with evil intentions can hurt those undeserving, it is through the inaction of the good that permits evil to prevail.

Life is inherit suffering, full of pain and grief - no reasonable person would disagree with this - however, life is about finding a value, or a much deeper understanding of where you are meant to be, and to strive to it whether said understanding is religious, success related, socially related, and so on.

I mention this much more prevalent and significant understanding of life because without it, you will end up undoubtedly like yourself. Henceforth why such significant people, of whom symbolise triumphant and victory even in the darkest of times, still shine through.

In the way you look at the world, it's logically sound than suicide is rational. I will not deny that. But I will not say that the way you view the world, in black and white viewpoint of gaining power, or empowerment is entirely logically sound. My proposal of a world view isn't entirely perfect either, but I hope it encapsulates and challenges yours - in particular, that there cannot be a truly good or evil person. That there is inherit suffering in life, but the action and commitment of good people, and a set aspiration truly has shown time and time again to be a defining pillar in having a successful and happy life - not only for the individual, but for the population.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
The problem with human relations is that we really can't see each other that clearly.
How we see people is just the ' tip of the iceberg '. I have noticed how people are less true to themselves. And if we cannot be honest with self, how can we be honest with others.?. I think this world has become devisive, spun around a web of fear, lacking in empathy. How do minds meet like this?. I always thought LOVE is unconditional!...I was so misguided.
 
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I

idiotstillwantstodie

Student
Nov 11, 2021
169
Sounds like your life is very focused on people. Have you tried becoming a gamer or an incel?
I hope you are joking
I want to put a disclaimer that I'm neither pro death nor pro life.

If you want to look at life, and how it's intricacies and methodologies operate from a logical standpoint, simply looking at life as either a feedback mechanism of giving and gaining power is bad. Because there's a lot more to living than gaining, or giving power.
Like what?
On a side note, your philosophy of people embodying differentiating elements of good and evil is sound, but that applies to all people. In which direction good and evil is propelled, is what constitutes confusion and the unjust conclusion that people can be either completely good or completely bad. For example, Hitler was bad towards the majority of ethnically different people to his idea of the Aryan race. But he was good towards heterosexual, obedient German folk with blue eyes and blonde hair. Good and evil, just in different directions. I am by no means justifying his actions; I'm just using him as an example.
Hitler is in my opinion an extremely bad example of an "evil" human individual. Why? Firstly, because he didn't act alone. He had the support of bunch of powerful germans from the start, not to mention millions of regular people. Secondly, due to his celebrity status his real personality remains a bit of a mystery. There are speculations about his character and possible psychological qualities but nothing too concrete. Thirdly, he didn't really participate on any atrocities first hand so it's really difficult to say just how detached from reality he really was while carrying out his plans.

In my opinion, Hitler is a great symbol of what sort of evil us humans are capable as a group. Which is of course a lot worse than anything any single deranged alone individual can achieve, but also of course always more or less based on gaslighting and manipulating the people indirectly involved in the atrocities. Hitler wasn't particularly good on your obedient german folks either, if you remember that he quite directly caused death and suffering to millions of them in his efforts to gain more power.

If you want a better example of an extremely evil individual there are several famous well documented serial killers that can be used in this manner. The most important book on the subject that i have personally stumbled upon was the autobiography of the psychopathic serial killer Donald Henry Gaskins. Based on the book, the man had a poor childhood and a difficult and traumatic upbringing, but it was absolutely nothing compared to the havoc he later caused. He absolutely reveled in torturing other human beings. I recommend reading the book, it's his autobiography so it's of course not 100% factual since he was a psychopath and thus probably a pathological liar. But still i've never read anything that would give such a great "view" into an extremely sadistic persons head.

Life is inherit suffering, full of pain and grief - no reasonable person would disagree with this - however, life is about finding a value, or a much deeper understanding of where you are meant to be, and to strive to it whether said understanding is religious, success related, socially related, and so on.

I mention this much more prevalent and significant understanding of life because without it, you will end up undoubtedly like yourself. Henceforth why such significant people, of whom symbolise triumphant and victory even in the darkest of times, still shine through.
These are just empty words since you don't really describe that deeper understanding that you mention. Symbols are just symbols, people are still just people behind all propaganda.
In the way you look at the world, it's logically sound than suicide is rational. I will not deny that. But I will not say that the way you view the world, in black and white viewpoint of gaining power, or empowerment is entirely logically sound. My proposal of a world view isn't entirely perfect either, but I hope it encapsulates and challenges yours - in particular, that there cannot be a truly good or evil person.
I think that you are mistaken about this. There certainly are/have been people bad enough to be deemed truly evil in the eyes of most people. I'm sure opposite applies as well, although most known "celebrity" examples of "good" people are largely based on propaganda and so unreliable.

This is not black and white thinking, this is documented reality. People who are living, breathing representatives of the extremes of different human emotions and the extremes of behaviour stemming from these emotions, are very real and all around us.
How we see people is just the ' tip of the iceberg '. I have noticed how people are less true to themselves. And if we cannot be honest with self, how can we be honest with others.?. I think this world has become devisive, spun around a web of fear, lacking in empathy. How do minds meet like this?. I always thought LOVE is unconditional!...I was so misguided.
Maybe real love is unconditional. Maybe that's why there is none of it in the real world.
 
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