My personal relation to a "preventive suicide"

[noname223]

I am only a layman but here are some of my thoughts on it. I wanted to make a thread whether climate change makes you suicidal. There already was such a thread so I changed my mind. But I had the feeling wanting to commit suicide because of climate change is probably in many cases a preventive consideration. So one dies before the actual catastrophe happens. With the uncertainty whether it will become really that bad. Personally I don't want that my suicide is a preventive one in a certain sense but it is really complicated.

There is the discussion about assisted suicide. It has been a while since I read it (the discussion just makes me way too angry so I stopped reading it) - take my words with a grain of salt. I think in assisted suicide the idea is kind of preventive suicide. Or at least according to my understanding they equate rational suicide with a preventive suicide. I came to the conclusion because of the following. Many or most doctors say only when a person is not in a crisis the person should be able to receive assisted suicide. So the mind has to be clear no depression that might deceive the patient. They say only when the person is not depressed the person is able to make a rational decision. I am not sure as I said if this is correct I personally reject that logic in my case.

One could say I am currently not in a mental health crisis. I am not that severely depressed. However I actually want to fight and escape suicide. I would not want to receive assisted suicide now. But I plan to kill myself when I the extreme pain and major depression hits again. I am extremely anxious about this pain. It was soulcrushing and lasted 2,5 years the last time. I can understand that they want to protect people from acting out of impulse. And I have similar considerations in my case. So far I have not ordered SN (though also because of legal considerations.) in order to prevent me from taking in out of impusle.

However I think I should still be able to theoretically receive assisted suicide when major depression hits if I want it because of the following (despite being in an acute crisis then). I am now suicidal a decade, I am pretty rational on it, I know what pain awaits me when I crash after a psychosis once again. For me the consideration about the extreme psychosomatic pain is deeply rational. I am the only one who can make judgement on this extreme pain. Moreover I am also convinced in my not acute crisis state that I should have the option to leave this world when this insane pain returns. I am the only one who can define my personal limit on agony and whether it is worth to play this game further.

Though in case I wanted to have assisted suicide it had to be a preventive suicide. At least this is my understanding. I would have to commit suicide before that possible crisis and extreme pain happened in order to make a rational and free decision according to them. Personally I don't agree on that. Especially due to the fact I am now suicidal since one decade and my thoughts on it are very very consistent. I am conivinced since 5 years (without any breaks) that when the extreme pain returns I want to have the option to leave. I cannot stomach that insane pain anymore. All my considerations are pretty clear, longterm and I already have communicated my limits to other people. The psychiatrists still rejected me even to think about assisted suicide when I asked them.

I want that my suicide is a rational one. This is why I talked a lot to therapists and many of them agreed I am not in an acute crisis. However I am pretty sure (I even asked some of them) they would not support me in my decision to die. It was important for me to listen to different perspectives, I also talked about it with friends etc. For me such a preventive suicide does not make sense. Maybe my predictions are wrong and I will stay stable for a long time. I don't want to commit suicide in a preventive sense without being certain on the future. However when I crash I will be pretty certain that the time will be once again hell on earth. And I cannot stomach that.

Maybe to understand the context with climate change. I read that some people are suicidal because of climate change. I am not sure but I assume most of it is anxiety about the future. Due to the fact the major influence will happen in the future. There is the saying at least in my language "to commit suicide from fear of death". This is something that comes to my mind in this context. We cannot predict how bad the climate crisis will really be like. Personally I will wait and look how bad it really be like. Moreover I cannot change it anyway so I barely can influence it anyway. Maybe that fact scares many people. I think the climate crisis will hit people in poor countries way harder than the people in the West. So I am not that scared about my own life. It will probably worsen inequality but I have way more horrible personal problems. I don't have the resources to spend on societal grievances.

What do you think?

 

[WorthlessCoward]

The mental gymnastics people will say to keep people alive no matter how much they want to die are astounding. And sickening. Everybody, regardless of age, mental or physical health has the right to die.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, suicide will always seem like the most logical choice over continuing existing, I mean we are all destined to die anyway, so it doesn't make much difference really at the end of the day if we die now or at old age, and suicide prevents all unnecessary future suffering where we could had ended up in a situation of the most extreme torture.
I actually think that the wish to exist in this hellish world where there is so many risks and where chance so cruelly determines everything, is what is irrational instead as I believe that the wish to stay here is centred around delusions, but anyway it's a personal choice deciding what is best for the individual and nobody else should have any right to intefere with this, which is why suicide could never be wrong under any circumstances. Nobody should be forced to exist against their wishes, the right to decide when to exit is a basic human right, as humans we aren't obligated to continue existing.

 

[witheringDreams]

To me, suicide will always seem like the most logical choice over continuing existing, I mean we are all destined to die anyway, so it doesn't make much difference really at the end of the day if we die now or at old age, and suicide prevents all unnecessary future suffering where we could had ended up in a situation of the most extreme torture.
I actually think that the wish to exist is what is irrational instead as such a thing is centred around delusions, but anyway it's a personal choice deciding what is best for the individual and nobody else should have any right to intefere with this, which is why suicide could never be wrong under any circumstances. Nobody should be forced to exist against their wishes, the right to decide when to exit is a basic human right, as humans we aren't obligated to continue existing.

I think your thoughts on this are quite interesting.

First, I agree that people should be allowed to make choices about their own lives, including whether or not to end their lives. But I also think that it is impossible to know for sure what, if anything, awaits us beyond this life. This uncertainty can be scary or comforting, depending on one's perspective. However, I don't think it's necessarily logical to assume that life is suffering, or that death is suffering, simply because we don't know what comes next.

Personally, I believe that life is worth living to the best of our abilities. While there most definitely will be difficult or painful experiences along the way, I can't deny that for me at least, sometimes there is also joy, and meaning to be found in life. However, I also recognize that everyone's experiences and perspectives are unique, and that what is valuable or meaningful to one person may not be the same for another.

It's understandable that some people may have a pessimistic view of life and believe that suffering is inevitable. In regards to that, I think it's important to recognize that this perspective is not the only possible one.

 

[noname223]

The mental gymnastics people will say to keep people alive no matter how much they want to die are astounding. And sickening. Everybody, regardless of age, mental or physical health has the right to die.

I had to think a lot about this comment recently. The wording is perfect. I had to chuckle. I am currently in the psychiatry and the relationship to suicide is so diametrical to the one in the forum. Even the suicidal patients I talked to were ambivalent about giving mentally ill the right for assisted suicide.