Venting my partner backed off

[hyuk✮i]

i made a threat saying that me and my partner were going to kill ourselves together a while ago but it turns out that she actually isn't down for a double suicide cause she is scared
i am not mad about it, i get it but i genuinely feel empty about it like, i really wanted to do with her and i don't want to back down at all
i waited for this, i wanted this, if it fails i will try again and again and again, i don't want to live at all
that moment was the most disappointing i felt in a while, like when your parents hype you up for something you liked but they ended up not buying it level of disappointment

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

Im so sorry u had to go through the lose of comfort in your planned last day on earth. Maybe its her own bealive and her heart saying she wants to still live it feels shitty but she choose what she wants and the only thing u can do is decide what u want going forward. Much love and hope everything u wish for comes true