My parent's neglect ruin my life. I struggle with people, relationships, school, and work. Like everyone else here, I feel so lonely. I am a disgraceful human being. I am unfit to navigate this world. Every single day, I always want to CTB.
Growing up in a household with Spanish-speaking immigrant parents, I was expected to be fluent in Spanish, but my journey with language was bleak and discouraging. My parents couldn't spare much time to help me practice Spanish. My incoherent Spanish left me feeling incompetent, unable to effectively communicate my thoughts and emotions.
Adding to my struggles, I faced speech issues/impediments, mispronouncing and slurring my words, often leading to misunderstandings. I vividly recall numerous instances when my mother handed me the telephone to speak to my grandmother. During those moments, I would attempt to say simple phrases in Spanish, however despite my earnest efforts, she couldn't understand me. My mother had to step in and translate my gibberish-like Spanish into fluent Spanish so my grandma could understand.
The challenges didn't end with Spanish. As I learned English at school, I faced similar obstacles because I had no one to practice with at home. I spoke broken, unintelligible English in the classroom and spoke broken, unintelligible Spanish at home.
I faced challenges with grammar and language structure in both languages. Growing up without books limited my vocabulary, and my poor vision hindered my education. Consequently, I consider myself less literate than others. Miscommunication made it difficult for me to connect with other kids, leaving me frustrated and socially isolated. I never learned how to socialize or make friends at school.
During my teen years, I managed to improve a little in simple conversations. While I found some comfort in one-on-one conversations, the fear of saying something incoherent left me embarrassed and hesitant to speak at all when I went out with friends. The fear of judgment and misunderstanding made social interactions a challenging and anxiety-inducing experience for me.
I am much worse around women. My upbringing involved limited interactions with girls, leading to anxiety and stumbling over my words when I'm around women. I just can't seem to be the kind of person who can talk to women, go on dates, or have a real relationship with one.
As I entered adulthood, job interviews became daunting due to my communication difficulties, and most workplaces turned toxic due to misunderstandings and judgment from coworkers. I often questioned why my communication struggles seemed to overshadow my hard work.
Although being raised bilingual should have been a gift, it often felt like a curse due to the friction it caused in my communication abilities, leaving me not fluent in either language. My lack of support from my parents, the limited social interaction, and the struggles stemming from my impoverished upbringing caused me to be a complete failure in life.
Society rejects me because I can't be normal around people. I am seen as slow because I have trouble putting my thoughts into words. I will never have a girlfriend, a good job, or a good life. I wish I were never born. When I CTB, I'll make sure to leave a note blaming it all on my parents.
P.S. Please don't be impressed by my writing. I used auto-correct, Grammarly, and Chatgpt to smooth out my terrible writing. Not to mention the hours I spent making this sound coherent. I wish I could sound as bright as this.
Growing up in a household with Spanish-speaking immigrant parents, I was expected to be fluent in Spanish, but my journey with language was bleak and discouraging. My parents couldn't spare much time to help me practice Spanish. My incoherent Spanish left me feeling incompetent, unable to effectively communicate my thoughts and emotions.
Adding to my struggles, I faced speech issues/impediments, mispronouncing and slurring my words, often leading to misunderstandings. I vividly recall numerous instances when my mother handed me the telephone to speak to my grandmother. During those moments, I would attempt to say simple phrases in Spanish, however despite my earnest efforts, she couldn't understand me. My mother had to step in and translate my gibberish-like Spanish into fluent Spanish so my grandma could understand.
The challenges didn't end with Spanish. As I learned English at school, I faced similar obstacles because I had no one to practice with at home. I spoke broken, unintelligible English in the classroom and spoke broken, unintelligible Spanish at home.
I faced challenges with grammar and language structure in both languages. Growing up without books limited my vocabulary, and my poor vision hindered my education. Consequently, I consider myself less literate than others. Miscommunication made it difficult for me to connect with other kids, leaving me frustrated and socially isolated. I never learned how to socialize or make friends at school.
During my teen years, I managed to improve a little in simple conversations. While I found some comfort in one-on-one conversations, the fear of saying something incoherent left me embarrassed and hesitant to speak at all when I went out with friends. The fear of judgment and misunderstanding made social interactions a challenging and anxiety-inducing experience for me.
I am much worse around women. My upbringing involved limited interactions with girls, leading to anxiety and stumbling over my words when I'm around women. I just can't seem to be the kind of person who can talk to women, go on dates, or have a real relationship with one.
As I entered adulthood, job interviews became daunting due to my communication difficulties, and most workplaces turned toxic due to misunderstandings and judgment from coworkers. I often questioned why my communication struggles seemed to overshadow my hard work.
Although being raised bilingual should have been a gift, it often felt like a curse due to the friction it caused in my communication abilities, leaving me not fluent in either language. My lack of support from my parents, the limited social interaction, and the struggles stemming from my impoverished upbringing caused me to be a complete failure in life.
Society rejects me because I can't be normal around people. I am seen as slow because I have trouble putting my thoughts into words. I will never have a girlfriend, a good job, or a good life. I wish I were never born. When I CTB, I'll make sure to leave a note blaming it all on my parents.
P.S. Please don't be impressed by my writing. I used auto-correct, Grammarly, and Chatgpt to smooth out my terrible writing. Not to mention the hours I spent making this sound coherent. I wish I could sound as bright as this.
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