My own relatives even organised for me to be abused and almost were successful in getting me abused

[FireFox]

One of my narcissistic relatives on my grandmothers side of the family went way too far with the emotional and psychological abuse and now it's all finally coming out the true scale of the abuse she has been doing to other family members.

I just discovered rescently this relative even wanted me to be abused and was almost successful in organising the abuse. As a teenager my relatives in my parents home country ( African country in the South) thought I was a freak that needed "fixing" all because I had a habit of talking to myself which i have grown out of in my mid20s, i am now 26. I like to comment on things I see and I tend to see things more deeply i am quite sensitive,. I struggled to fitted in with the family as i was always too different which made me disliked. As a teenager and throughout my 20s I already knew the relatives gossiped about how I was crazy freak of the family. She was one the relatives doing all the gossiping and planted the idea that I need to be "fixed"

This week I then found out rescently she organised for me to be "fixed" by sending me to a witchdoctor she knew even organising all appointments with the witch doctor behind my back until my own family had to intervene as they were furious this was all done without their consultation. My Catholic mother knows how dangerous consultation of witch doctors so was furious my relatives considered this route for me.

I knew someone who went to witch doctor in an African country because thier bullying relatives got their way and wanted her "fixed". The entire experience permanently messed up the poor woman mentally. The woman when she went she was never the same person again. It is so scary to witness how the whole thing fucked her up. In the past there has been legal cases of people getting abused in witch doctor sessions ie women getting sexually assaulted. Many others come back with other kinds of severe psychological trauma because of the controversial methods these witch doctors use during the experience. These people are not qualified doctors or medical professionals so mix all of kinds of harmful substances calling it "medicine" or a "curse" and force people to do humiliating and degarding rituals so they can be " fixed"

This is what my piece of shit relatives wanted for me and show absolutely no remorse for wanting me to be exposed to serious lifelong permanent harm.

Male relatives in my family who do rape, sexually abusing kids, domestic violence and all kinds of evil they DO NOT sent to witchdoctor for fixing but my relatives believe I need "fixing" all because I was too different from the family and I didn't meet their definition of normal. What to do these people know about normal?

 

[Yaffle]

OMG, that's horrific. I take it you're safely out of your home country now?

 

[FireFox]

OMG, that's horrific. I take it you're safely out of your home country now?

@Yaffle I live in the UK and I am a British citizen. Since the age of 15 my summers have been spent visiting my parents and grandparents home country in the south of Africa. Being a child of immigrants with majority of relatives who live aboard travelling back and fourth to see family members is all I have ever known and travel is my identity. At a young age I have been exposed to seeing my relatives awful behaviour hence why at young age I never felt loved nor wanted by my own blood relatives and always felt like a outsider. Unfortunately family is a massive deal in my family's culture.

During one family stay my older relative who never liked me due to jealously and enjoys causing problems decided I am a freak who needed "fixing." When it comes to witchdoctors, spiritualists in my parents country a person has to know someone who knows someone etc this relative knew people who dabbled in that stuff as she mixed in those circles. People generally speaking who go to these sessions in that country do come back with major psychological trauma and never the same again.

The women orchestrating everything along with the assistance of other arsehole scheming relatives starts making appointments for me to see the witch doctor my own grandmother had to find out from a family meeting they held behind my grandmothers back over the arrangement. My grandmother had the time hid this information from me because if it were to be public it was going to cause an enormous hell to break loose so my grandmother instead just kept me away from these relatives and made sure I never went anywhere alone. My grandmother only told my mother what happened after we returned to the UK.

As a teenager I never used to understand why my own mother used to snap at me for my failure to be normal. My mum will say " Will you stop doing that or this these people at home think you are crazy" i used to feel bad all the time and hated visiting my relatives as they was always gossiping about me and worst of all because of I do not speak the native tongue there was a high chance

Meanwhile the male pedophile relatives, rapists, domestic abuseres NEVER get intervention by other relatives to see witch doctor to " fix them". My relatives held me to a higher standard than the real abusers of the family.

I loved the covid19 pandemic because travel restrictions gave me the freedom to never see my relatives again and it was pure bliss. For the first time in my life I was actually happy.

 

[Yaffle]

I'm in the UK too and thank goodness you're here and safe.

I'm not going to criticise your culture but what you've described is truly awful. Thank goodness you left your home country.

We're all normal here, just our own kind of normal! So sorry your life experiences have brought you here.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible, I hate how people like that are so unnecessarily cruel and create so much suffering.

 

[Morte]

I also loved the pandemic, it was the only time after childhood I felt truly happy

 

[Jolene79]

Your story reminds me of the horrors of the church and systemic abuse of children. The amount of programmes I've seen now about this and nothing would shock me any more. Rather than listen to, believe or support the poor children in these systems being sexually abused, parents would instead bury their head in the sand, as would the institutions. Instead blaming the poor children instead of the pervert priests.

Same with the Magdalen laundries in Ireland. Young women were sent there usually after being raped! So they were raped and abused and they would be blamed for it.

I can only think it is systematic brainwashing and years of unquestioned traditions in your family that perpetuated the shit you had to endure. I'm so sorry for you that you dealt with that family dynamic and all it's emotional abuse

 

[FireFox]

I also loved the pandemic, it was the only time after childhood I felt truly happy

@Shar As a teenager and in my early 20s I was absolutely miserable spending summers aboard being forced to see these relatives. Worst of all I had nobody to talk to about it. I am a child of immigrants and went to a multicultural diverse school. Other kids of immigrants were happy visiting their parents homeland for holiday because the weather was better than in England whereas I hated visiting my parents country because my relatives are just awful people. Its was pure hell spending summers with family members having absolutely nothing in common with including relatives your own age. I don't even have freedom to do anything my mother won't let me go for a walk or shops by myself even in my 20s whenever we vist her home country. If we not visiting a family gathering or an attraction I am just locked in my holiday accommodation watching TV or using ipad. I hate that.

My mother is not the type to listen. She doesn't believe in leaving kids with Babysitters or strangers and never ever gave me the option of staying by myself at home when I reached 18. I actually hate her for it. If I don't see piece of shit relatives the gossip, hate and criticism is never ending. My family are too weak to stand up to them still love these arseholes who can do no wrong.

God really answered my prayers when I wished as a teenager for a world where I never had to vist my relatives again in my parents home country. I was so happy when the travel restrictions came during the pandemic and its was pure freedom never seeing my relatives ever again. I was so happy and free I never wanted it to end. Being forced to see my relatives again this year I fell into deep depression. I hate my mother so much for never giving me the freedom of choice in allowing me to stay at home alone. When my mum dies my relatives will NEVER see me again. I am done with my relatives. Culture is not an excuse to tolerate entitled piece of shit relatives who do not give a shit about anyone except themselves and are not even grateful for the help my family has given them.

Your story reminds me of the horrors of the church and systemic abuse of children. The amount of programmes I've seen now about this and nothing would shock me any more. Rather than listen to, believe or support the poor children in these systems being sexually abused, parents would instead bury their head in the sand, as would the institutions. Instead blaming the poor children instead of the pervert priests.

Same with the Magdalen laundries in Ireland. Young women were sent there usually after being raped! So they were raped and abused and they would be blamed for it.

I can only think it is systematic brainwashing and years of unquestioned traditions in your family that perpetuated the shit you had to endure. I'm so sorry for you that you dealt with that family dynamic and all it's emotional abuse

@Jolene79 At 26 years old I am finally sick and just done with my relatives. My relatives are just a fucking disappointment and I have the worst relatives in the world. Its pure loneliness and hell.

Realising this is actually painful and I feel like nobody in the world understands what is it is like having a family where Overwhelmingly majority of relatives are just gossipsers, users and just awful people who bring nothing but suffering and show absolutely no remorse. Even the relatives I thought were "good" are also just as bad and total let down.

I envy people who have no relatives because no relatives are better than hundreds who do not care about you and have no respect for you. Having a large family tree means absolutely nothing if your own blood relatives do not care about you and don't respect you.

 

[Morte]

I envy your ability to accurately describe how you feel, I forgot how to do it, so I can't even get it off my chest. I have very similar problems to yours. Being around people you have nothing in common and toxic family. I'm stuck with them, because can't find a good job to leave home. It would be the only way to have peace of mind. I can't find another family either, many years of isolation seem to have permanently damaged my ability to interact. And a relationship without any experience before would be awkward, I'm already in my late 20s after all. Its very suffocating.