Venting My only string wearing thin

[puppydeparted]

After a rocky time being homeless I met my partner who's a decade older than me a few years ago. I feel things changing between us. I'm in a new state, I'm retarded, I haven't had friends in years and I'm growing more and more depressed while their life blooms. I've recently started cutting myself again and my hair has all fallen out from the middle of my scalp. I have no internal drive. I'm going to be a loser for as long as I'm alive. It's hard sleeping next to someone and you don't fit the same in their arms anymore. Bitter and disinterested they grow every day, I know you won't be with me forever. I'm not fit for this world I am so soft. I know little about it outside of you too. I wish you could keep me safe forever the way you said.