ok. I'm decided i will kill myself on 1 October 2023. but, there is one thing which has always disturbed me all my life really disturbed me. it's not for me to judge nature/god/or whatever is in charge of this charade. but, even when i am dead and gone, i have never understood why nature/god made it that we must have kids, especially girl kids. if girls are not lucky to have good parents, they suffer. it's like all odds are stacked against them. ok. i have kids, grown up 3 boys, who are now men and got a girl with a different wife. she's 6. .., i think the odds were against my first wife, and so they were against my second wife who gave me a girl child. we divorced. but all i think about is my little girl. i keep thinking how she may get abused by my second wife's family members. because i saw this with my sister. she ended up all messed up. then she had 3 kids and i raised them and educated them, but my sister was and is still damaged. she couldn't ever take care of herself or her kids. i had to do it for her. but i can't take care of her pyschological/emotional needs and i always feel so sorry for her...., and her kids. we were all abused, but it got into her much more deeper. ..., and i'm always scared my daughter will go through what my sister went through. ..., i know because my second wife was also abused and she came from a broken family and her mom was married 3 times...., and i know she will subject my daughter to such. so, it's all a cycle of human suffering and misery. especially for the girls and women..., the men somehow have the whatever that keeps them going...., it's never that bad. aha. unless, they run out of money. which is what i'm about to do. run out of money...., but for the women and girls, it's something deeper. true or false? ..., maybe my thread not properly capturing my thought process, but hopefully makes sense.
