my mother keeps forcing me to find a job

[NothingElseMatters]

fuck, why no one understands that I don't have any strength to live. am I too old to be unemployed? yes, but I don't give a damn!

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Keep doing it and getting fired she'll get the message eventually

 

[BlankUser]

I hate when people do that. I was forced to have a job a lot and I tried, but it was a torture, I couldn't work properly because of my OCD, I wasn't able to hold a job usually. And then the same people talked trash about me, how I'm not trying enough, how I'm lazy and worthless etc. People want to teach you how to live, give "good" advices, but they never want to understand or address your issues. They don't want to acknowledge that sometimes you're literally unfit to work.

 

[Bagger]

My ma don't do this, but my whole environment do. We have a fucked up "cult of work" here. Get a job! U need to work! Everyone do it! I'm getting reminders from my "friends" that i should get a job constantly. Sure, i would love to do something i like. But i don't like anything for now because i have years long depression, lack of self worth and so on. It's hard for me to even do groceries, and if there are some people outside of my block, i will fucking wait for them to leave first. That's how i am messed up. And i will never do anything in a forced manner, getting job for the sole purpose of getting job? No way fuckers, i will first exploit the system to the core, suck every cent i can from it, or die hobo style, but i will do things MY way.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I know that pretty well. My mum forces me to either study a college or find a job. I'm going to finish high school this year (actually next month), so my whole family asks me what I'm going to do next. But I have NO future plans.

 

[Superdeterminist]

They love to say "no job is beneath you" yet they pay some jobs more than others, and expect the lesser paid to be content with their lot. Moreover, they asume all jobs are tolerable and meet a minimum standard of wellbeing for the employee, when that is highly doubtful. They push the message "just get a job" as if that helps anyone or achieves anything other than making people feel worse about themselves. They expect you to land a job just like that, yet they gatekeep jobs with interviews, qualification requirements, and demand years of experience. They expect people to work jobs they hate and to shut up and not complain about it because they're paying you a salary. God, I fucking hate these people, you know the type.

 

[FuneralCry]

Having a job is just being a slave to the system in my opinion, hours of forced labour can drive you into a pit of despair. It is our lives so we should decide what we do with it. People irritate me when they think they know better.

 

[ClownMe]

I can relate to this. my mum forced me to get a low paying fast food job, far away from where we live and I hate it and also completely suck at it. I wanna get fired, but if I do then my mum will kick me out and I will be homeless.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I suggest to everyone that they keep their jobs. I know we are planning to ctb but that might not come as soon as we think. In the meantime you need money to stay alive (ironically). If life is hard now imagine starving on the street.

 

[WornOutLife]

Been there before!

I thought I might end up as a homeless but I guess my parents couldn't cope with that.

After being a NEET for 3 years, I'm finally working again.

Just try to ignore everybody and take your time. The strength will show up when you're feeling better! (I hope)

Hugs,

Matt

 

[Deleted member 8579]

I can relate to this. my mum forced me to get a low paying fast food job, far away from where we live and I hate it and also completely suck at it. I wanna get fired, but if I do then my mum will kick me out and I will be homeless.

No offence, but why did your parents have children in the first place? They don't seem to support you in any way, despite the fact that you are only 20. I have seen so many cases like this; people having children for the sake of having children, because "that's what you do". Once the child comes of age, they couldn't care less.

 

[ClownMe]

No offence, but why did your parents have children in the first place? They don't seem to support you in any way, despite the fact that you are only 20. I have seen so many cases like this; people having children for the sake of having children, because "that's what you do". Once the child comes of age, they couldn't care less.

Sadly, they've never really cared about me my entire life. Both my parents are narcissists, my dad wants nothing to do with me and my mum gaslights me and attempts to control every aspect of my life. and yes, they're the typical "let's have kids for the sake of having kids" people.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

No offence, but why did your parents have children in the first place? They don't seem to support you in any way, despite the fact that you are only 20. I have seen so many cases like this; people having children for the sake of having children, because "that's what you do". Once the child comes of age, they couldn't care less.

My parents told me that they are only legally obligated to take care of me until I turned 18. They told me it was important for me to learn how to be independent and that I will thank them when I get older.

I think this was just an excuse to get rid of me. I am pretty sure I was an unwanted accident.

 

[sephlove]

I realized I can't get a job or hold down a job for too long due to my mental state and literally no will to live. So I feel you. Society only cares about mental health one month a year, and the rest of the year we're look at as "lazy"

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I realized I can't get a job or hold down a job for too long due to my mental state and literally no will to live. So I feel you. Society only cares about mental health one month a year, and the rest of the year we're look at as "lazy"

Society cares just enough to shame people into being productive. They also use the threat of homelessness and starvation to keep people in line.

 

[unperson]

So I relate to... every single reply here, holy shit. It's like we're in a world full of gaslighting assholes and this is one of the few spaces where we can be honest about how shitty it is out there.

 

[MindFog]

I got pushed into taking a medical degree and it just made things worse. Now I've been barred from taking almost any job that's easier than applying on a hospital. I don't even know how many interviews I've failed.. And how much I dread everything... But they don't really care about how I feel.. All they do is wait until they think you're better.. and then they push you again.

That's all they do. They push and they push until you fucking snap. And they pretend they haven't done anything wrong. In fact, they'll even blame you for being shit.. Not even knowing they're pushing off a cliff..

 

[ConfusedAndWeird]

I've basically given up on finding work. Ironically the main reason I would want to find work is to get paid enough to move to my own place so that it would be easier to CTB, but I've been turned down for so long and my resume has such a huge gap, and I have so few references and no experience, that there's basically no point.

I find it extremely ironic that they expect everyone to get a job under threat of starvation/homelessness and yet can't even guarantee work to people. If you're not fit enough for it you can't even join the military, even if we assume you're not a pacifist. (I am a pacifist, but I also wouldn't be considered fit for joining the military due to my chronic physical weakness.) My parents basically can't stand to see me homeless so I just live as a NEET with them where they walk on eggshells around me because I broke down and admitted to them that I would rather prefer to die, and to my desires to CTB when they said to go back to university after I already got a bachelor's degree, for another bachelor's degree in the hope it *might* make a difference.

I'm basically permanently screwed up because of how my parents raised me. I was always isolated from other people and never allowed to go outside, turning me into a completely inept social hermit. They made me completely dependent on them for anything and everything, so I have no real life skills, no connections with people who could recommend me for work, no real work experience, nothing. Even during times I would find a job, my sperm donor would suddenly decide that he didn't want me to have that job and then threaten not to drive me there when I needed to be there. I also wouldn't be allowed to drive myself either. He did this all under the threat of homelessness because he's a complete control freak. He wasn't like this to my brother but he was to me, because I was diagnosed with Autism which makes me a permanent idiot in his eyes, equivalent to him to a person with severe mental deficits. Unfortunately the conflicting stories people hear from both me and my brother made people not take my problems seriously as a kid.

Normies are quick to point out that I could fix all of these if I put in enough effort, and they're technically right, but what they don't realize is that this would basically require me to risk being homeless with no life skills and then managing to somehow build a life out of nothing. I'm permanently screwed. Even if my parents were somehow to change their ways, I'd still be screwed. Even if I was somehow "rescued" from their house and given my own place I would have no idea how to string together a plan to find employment to sustain myself, not to mention all the other chores it would require.

Nowadays, employers don't even look at my resume, if I'm even able to fill in all the mandatory fields in applications such as "references". And possibly even if I did find a job, unless I could somehow move right away, it would probably be snatched away from me. So basically my only hope now, after having failed at constant suicide attempts, trying the night night method with tape around my neck and partial hanging with a tie, belt, or bedsheets in my closet, not able to order any materials like SN or N to help with ctb because, welp, the mail all gets thoroughly inspected for anything and everything, is to basically beg for death. Beg for mercy. But they would rather keep me breathing and miserable, and pretend like we're a happy functional family than admit they fucked me up royally and let me leave.

...I admit that I went a little off topic there. But point is that there is no hope for me, nor does a life of slaving away for an employer while slowly rotting to death sound like a particularly grand goal to aim for even if it is practically unattainable for me. I wouldn't even want to continue living if I found work because I would still be a black sheep to people for thinking in ways drastically different from them. I could never relate to people in general, I only really relate to this community of those who aren't afraid to talk about hopelessness or despair. Not just ours, but of it in general. So yeah, it really sucks being guilted into finding work, especially when it fixes relatively few of our problems and only adds an extra layer of stress.

 

[Yasuke]

Exactly why I'm contemplating suicide. They force you into a world of suffering only for you to be a glorified pet to them lest you can make enough money to move out and suffer on your own in this capatlist society. Parents only care about what they want from you. They don't give a shit how you feel, what you want, or who you are if it ain't what they want you to be.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My mom isn't forcing me but she's certainly aggressively urging me to get one.

I wish I could get her to understand that I've just already given up on my future and that it wouldn't be fair to whatever employer I have if I take on the responsibilities of a job only to CTB next year which I'm almost definitely going to do at this rate.

 

[Yasuke]

I

I've basically given up on finding work. Ironically the main reason I would want to find work is to get paid enough to move to my own place so that it would be easier to CTB, but I've been turned down for so long and my resume has such a huge gap, and I have so few references and no experience, that there's basically no point.

I find it extremely ironic that they expect everyone to get a job under threat of starvation/homelessness and yet can't even guarantee work to people. If you're not fit enough for it you can't even join the military, even if we assume you're not a pacifist. (I am a pacifist, but I also wouldn't be considered fit for joining the military due to my chronic physical weakness.) My parents basically can't stand to see me homeless so I just live as a NEET with them where they walk on eggshells around me because I broke down and admitted to them that I would rather prefer to die, and to my desires to CTB when they said to go back to university after I already got a bachelor's degree, for another bachelor's degree in the hope it *might* make a difference.

I'm basically permanently screwed up because of how my parents raised me. I was always isolated from other people and never allowed to go outside, turning me into a completely inept social hermit. They made me completely dependent on them for anything and everything, so I have no real life skills, no connections with people who could recommend me for work, no real work experience, nothing. Even during times I would find a job, my sperm donor would suddenly decide that he didn't want me to have that job and then threaten not to drive me there when I needed to be there. I also wouldn't be allowed to drive myself either. He did this all under the threat of homelessness because he's a complete control freak. He wasn't like this to my brother but he was to me, because I was diagnosed with Autism which makes me a permanent idiot in his eyes, equivalent to him to a person with severe mental deficits. Unfortunately the conflicting stories people hear from both me and my brother made people not take my problems seriously as a kid.

Normies are quick to point out that I could fix all of these if I put in enough effort, and they're technically right, but what they don't realize is that this would basically require me to risk being homeless with no life skills and then managing to somehow build a life out of nothing. I'm permanently screwed. Even if my parents were somehow to change their ways, I'd still be screwed. Even if I was somehow "rescued" from their house and given my own place I would have no idea how to string together a plan to find employment to sustain myself, not to mention all the other chores it would require.

Nowadays, employers don't even look at my resume, if I'm even able to fill in all the mandatory fields in applications such as "references". And possibly even if I did find a job, unless I could somehow move right away, it would probably be snatched away from me. So basically my only hope now, after having failed at constant suicide attempts, trying the night night method with tape around my neck and partial hanging with a tie, belt, or bedsheets in my closet, not able to order any materials like SN or N to help with ctb because, welp, the mail all gets thoroughly inspected for anything and everything, is to basically beg for death. Beg for mercy. But they would rather keep me breathing and miserable, and pretend like we're a happy functional family than admit they fucked me up royally and let me leave.

...I admit that I went a little off topic there. But point is that there is no hope for me, nor does a life of slaving away for an employer while slowly rotting to death sound like a particularly grand goal to aim for even if it is practically unattainable for me. I wouldn't even want to continue living if I found work because I would still be a black sheep to people for thinking in ways drastically different from them. I could never relate to people in general, I only really relate to this community of those who aren't afraid to talk about hopelessness or despair. Not just ours, but of it in general. So yeah, it really sucks being guilted into finding work, especially when it fixes relatively few of our problems and only adds an extra layer of stress.

Read everything. Feel the same way.

 

[unperson]

I've basically given up on finding work. Ironically the main reason I would want to find work is to get paid enough to move to my own place so that it would be easier to CTB, but I've been turned down for so long and my resume has such a huge gap, and I have so few references and no experience, that there's basically no point.

I find it extremely ironic that they expect everyone to get a job under threat of starvation/homelessness and yet can't even guarantee work to people. If you're not fit enough for it you can't even join the military, even if we assume you're not a pacifist. (I am a pacifist, but I also wouldn't be considered fit for joining the military due to my chronic physical weakness.) My parents basically can't stand to see me homeless so I just live as a NEET with them where they walk on eggshells around me because I broke down and admitted to them that I would rather prefer to die, and to my desires to CTB when they said to go back to university after I already got a bachelor's degree, for another bachelor's degree in the hope it *might* make a difference.

I'm basically permanently screwed up because of how my parents raised me. I was always isolated from other people and never allowed to go outside, turning me into a completely inept social hermit. They made me completely dependent on them for anything and everything, so I have no real life skills, no connections with people who could recommend me for work, no real work experience, nothing. Even during times I would find a job, my sperm donor would suddenly decide that he didn't want me to have that job and then threaten not to drive me there when I needed to be there. I also wouldn't be allowed to drive myself either. He did this all under the threat of homelessness because he's a complete control freak. He wasn't like this to my brother but he was to me, because I was diagnosed with Autism which makes me a permanent idiot in his eyes, equivalent to him to a person with severe mental deficits. Unfortunately the conflicting stories people hear from both me and my brother made people not take my problems seriously as a kid.

Normies are quick to point out that I could fix all of these if I put in enough effort, and they're technically right, but what they don't realize is that this would basically require me to risk being homeless with no life skills and then managing to somehow build a life out of nothing. I'm permanently screwed. Even if my parents were somehow to change their ways, I'd still be screwed. Even if I was somehow "rescued" from their house and given my own place I would have no idea how to string together a plan to find employment to sustain myself, not to mention all the other chores it would require.

Nowadays, employers don't even look at my resume, if I'm even able to fill in all the mandatory fields in applications such as "references". And possibly even if I did find a job, unless I could somehow move right away, it would probably be snatched away from me. So basically my only hope now, after having failed at constant suicide attempts, trying the night night method with tape around my neck and partial hanging with a tie, belt, or bedsheets in my closet, not able to order any materials like SN or N to help with ctb because, welp, the mail all gets thoroughly inspected for anything and everything, is to basically beg for death. Beg for mercy. But they would rather keep me breathing and miserable, and pretend like we're a happy functional family than admit they fucked me up royally and let me leave.

...I admit that I went a little off topic there. But point is that there is no hope for me, nor does a life of slaving away for an employer while slowly rotting to death sound like a particularly grand goal to aim for even if it is practically unattainable for me. I wouldn't even want to continue living if I found work because I would still be a black sheep to people for thinking in ways drastically different from them. I could never relate to people in general, I only really relate to this community of those who aren't afraid to talk about hopelessness or despair. Not just ours, but of it in general. So yeah, it really sucks being guilted into finding work, especially when it fixes relatively few of our problems and only adds an extra layer of stress.

Damn I appreciate being able to here your story, it's a shame there aren't more people willing to actually listen to it before just judging you or whatever.

 

[blue_muse]

You can't win because you've voiced valid reasons why you can't work, yet, if you did work you'd be accused of not trying hard enough.

 

[noname223]

I hate when people do that. I was forced to have a job a lot and I tried, but it was a torture, I couldn't work properly because of my OCD, I wasn't able to hold a job usually. And then the same people talked trash about me, how I'm not trying enough, how I'm lazy and worthless etc. People want to teach you how to live, give "good" advices, but they never want to understand or address your issues. They don't want to acknowledge that sometimes you're literally unfit to work.

I can absolutely relate to that. I have OCD too and got severly depressed and people just keep pushing me.

 

[BlankUser]

I can absolutely relate to that. I have OCD too and got severly depressed and people just keep pushing me.

This!!! I tried so hard to keep a job. But it was impossible. Intrusive thoughts non stop. I felt compelled to perform my weird rituals and mental compulsions. It was impossible to be productive.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I hate when people do that. I was forced to have a job a lot and I tried, but it was a torture, I couldn't work properly because of my OCD, I wasn't able to hold a job usually. And then the same people talked trash about me, how I'm not trying enough, how I'm lazy and worthless etc. People want to teach you how to live, give "good" advices, but they never want to understand or address your issues. They don't want to acknowledge that sometimes you're literally unfit to work.

Wow this makes me mad.

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

I've basically given up on finding work. Ironically the main reason I would want to find work is to get paid enough to move to my own place so that it would be easier to CTB, but I've been turned down for so long and my resume has such a huge gap, and I have so few references and no experience, that there's basically no point.

I find it extremely ironic that they expect everyone to get a job under threat of starvation/homelessness and yet can't even guarantee work to people. If you're not fit enough for it you can't even join the military, even if we assume you're not a pacifist. (I am a pacifist, but I also wouldn't be considered fit for joining the military due to my chronic physical weakness.) My parents basically can't stand to see me homeless so I just live as a NEET with them where they walk on eggshells around me because I broke down and admitted to them that I would rather prefer to die, and to my desires to CTB when they said to go back to university after I already got a bachelor's degree, for another bachelor's degree in the hope it *might* make a difference.

I'm basically permanently screwed up because of how my parents raised me. I was always isolated from other people and never allowed to go outside, turning me into a completely inept social hermit. They made me completely dependent on them for anything and everything, so I have no real life skills, no connections with people who could recommend me for work, no real work experience, nothing. Even during times I would find a job, my sperm donor would suddenly decide that he didn't want me to have that job and then threaten not to drive me there when I needed to be there. I also wouldn't be allowed to drive myself either. He did this all under the threat of homelessness because he's a complete control freak. He wasn't like this to my brother but he was to me, because I was diagnosed with Autism which makes me a permanent idiot in his eyes, equivalent to him to a person with severe mental deficits. Unfortunately the conflicting stories people hear from both me and my brother made people not take my problems seriously as a kid.

Normies are quick to point out that I could fix all of these if I put in enough effort, and they're technically right, but what they don't realize is that this would basically require me to risk being homeless with no life skills and then managing to somehow build a life out of nothing. I'm permanently screwed. Even if my parents were somehow to change their ways, I'd still be screwed. Even if I was somehow "rescued" from their house and given my own place I would have no idea how to string together a plan to find employment to sustain myself, not to mention all the other chores it would require.

Nowadays, employers don't even look at my resume, if I'm even able to fill in all the mandatory fields in applications such as "references". And possibly even if I did find a job, unless I could somehow move right away, it would probably be snatched away from me. So basically my only hope now, after having failed at constant suicide attempts, trying the night night method with tape around my neck and partial hanging with a tie, belt, or bedsheets in my closet, not able to order any materials like SN or N to help with ctb because, welp, the mail all gets thoroughly inspected for anything and everything, is to basically beg for death. Beg for mercy. But they would rather keep me breathing and miserable, and pretend like we're a happy functional family than admit they fucked me up royally and let me leave.

...I admit that I went a little off topic there. But point is that there is no hope for me, nor does a life of slaving away for an employer while slowly rotting to death sound like a particularly grand goal to aim for even if it is practically unattainable for me. I wouldn't even want to continue living if I found work because I would still be a black sheep to people for thinking in ways drastically different from them. I could never relate to people in general, I only really relate to this community of those who aren't afraid to talk about hopelessness or despair. Not just ours, but of it in general. So yeah, it really sucks being guilted into finding work, especially when it fixes relatively few of our problems and only adds an extra layer of stress.

Wow. I'm really sorry you're going through that :( You remind me a lot of my current living situation. I've also been brought up to be coddled, and controlled by my parents too that it became hard to gain independence (and still is tbh). I also lack experience to work "entry level" that requires 2-3 years of actual work, but my parents are pushing the whole, get a master's so it'll make a difference. I can't even lie on the resume because I have no references unless I say I worked at some start up company that's shutdown and bankrupted lol. One of my last hopes is a research assistant job that I've been in talks to do with my prior professor if her grant is approved. Perhaps you could talk to your professors and see if you could find something similar? (I'm not sure how long you've been out of school though)

(No offense to boomers) but my parents just don't understand. They came from a time period where qualifications, certifications, and degrees were pretty much a sealed deal to find work without traditional experience. I know people who went back to school to get a master's and are still unemployed but are in even deeper debt and thinking about ctb'ing all because they are "over-qualified" for entry-level jobs but lack experience for senior level. Only way I'd go back to school is if I was able to actually work part-time at least

 

[Jumper Geo]

My friend's brother had us in stitches 30 years ago, the UK unemployment office kept sending him for interviews to low paid jobs like assembling boxes to force him off state benefit, he was older than me by about 5 years but if he was offered the job and refused or was nasty or refused to answer questions they would stop his benefits. Anyway, there was a group of us in the pub and someone else said they have to go to an interview and his brother said yeah Steve had about 5 of them and they gave up, we all laughed because he was a joker, he could have been a great actor.

So we asked how did you get out of it, writing and reading this don't do it justice but he said he went in all straight and smart answered a few questions and if he saw pencils or pens or anything small erases, stapler, when they asked him the 3rd question, sitting down he would turn his head to the side and do a really weird scary giggle while he's stealing a bunch of pens or pencils and putting them in his inside pocket, and whispering no one saw me, no one saw me and giggled again, it was great and hilarious but a bit like bloody Gollum, it was so funny when he showed us.

They never reported him saying he robbed them they didn't want the hassle and were just happy he left the building and he was straight in the benefits office interviews, he said they were absolutely baffled why I never got hired and they said to him this company hires everyone, he said I'm disappointed I thought the interview went well,

Cheers

Geo

 

[Thatdude]

They expect you to land a job just like that, yet they gatekeep jobs with interviews, qualification requirements, and demand years of experience. They expect people to work jobs they hate and to shut up and not complain about it because they're paying you a salary.

A few times in the past there has been people who went off on me for not having a job. Some were in spots they could hire someone or were trying. So I told them to hire me, and they said no. While that shut them up, a week later it was back to the normal insults.

I have 4 degrees and a number of certs. I hate how social skills seem to be the number 1 factor in getting any decent job. And then after that, being perfect or 1000000% showing no flaws. Like I can even fly a plane, but after pushing to see if any place would hire me if I did get my commercial license. I got a no because I'm autistic. In manufacture work I've been fired for simply being autistic, working in retail is a nightmare, and even IT takes a crap ton of social skills and who you know.


Even still, I'm trying my own way and some weeks I'm doing good and others I am not. One week due to crypto investments I made well over $7k a single day. During one of the many times I was being abused by my drunken ass hole of a sister, I let it slip when I yelled back the amount I made and used that to say shut the F up. She ended up replying back on why am I living with my parents. Then less than 12 hours later again I was being bashed by her about not having a job.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

fuck, why no one understands that I don't have any strength to live. am I too old to be unemployed? yes, but I don't give a damn!

I understand you so well...............