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She called me retard because I bought the wrong kind of cheese and then I could listen to her complain about me to my dad. I am so done. I wanna ctb tonight because I don't think I can handle another day with her. Why can't I do anything right? Sometimes I feel like she hates me and wishes I was never born. If I wasn't alive right now i know she'd love me more than she does now. Everything and everyone sucks.
Reactions:
MiraiShisen, locked*n*loaded and jemetire
I'm sorry that totally sucks, u not getting the right cheese from the shop cannot be attributed you "can't do anything right", it doesn't say anything about u, merely that u got the wrong cheese. Your mother is being really harmful, does she know she's doing that? Would it make any difference do you think if you said, "hey calling me a retard really hurt my feelings, i was trying to be helpful getting the cheese, but your response really made me feel that I am not appreciated and I am unworthy. And when it happens so often it really makes me feel like you hate me and wish I was never born. Can you please think about it and think about how your actions is making me feel?" I know it's a long shot. I'm really sorry u r going through this and have done for a long time to make u feel this way. I hope u can find a way to get through to her. But if not, it isn't your fault, u have to protect yourself against the harm that she is incurring on you by probably just stop expecting anything from her and just live your life as if she doesn't exist
I offer my sympathies to you. It's hard when your parents are detrimental, it's twice as hard if you're dependent on them. All I can say is that I hope you can find the peace you're looking for.
I also want you to know, it's not that you can't do anything right, you just bought the wrong cheese. Happens to the best of us. It's just that she possibly made a choice (sounds like your dad) in the past that she regrets. She probably hates herself for it and reflects it on you. It is not fair she is treating you this way and you don't deserve this. I understand that since she is your mother you feel the need to take her remarks seriously, but her words do not determine your worth. Truly.
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