Venting My mother and "professionals" don't understand how a suicidal person feels at all

[lwlaiet8887]

Yes I'm insulting my mother again. She bought me some new clothes today and thought I'd be excited to hear of it. I told her to respectfully stop bothering me and that I really didn't care at the moment and she essentially left the house sobbing and said something along the lines of "why do I bother helping you?" I literally tried to OD a day ago and my body is completely run down and I really couldn't give a fuck about new clothes at the moment and it's not like I go outside ever. And it's not so much about the clothes It's just that nothing fits me due to how my body is built, I hate having to wear clothes in general just because they just drape over me and make me feel more miniscule than I already am. I have already posted pictures and talked about in detail so you should know where I'm coming from. Seriously all of those so called "helpful" people just have made my life 10x more hellish and unenjoyable. I just want to be left alone so my body can physically recover. I have to admit it does feel satisfying being so physically weak and tired at the moment, I feel barely observant of life. I'm probably the most casual suicidal person ever though and explained to here why I rationally did it and she seemed to understand, I just don't get why she think something so petty would be worth fretting me over at a time like this. Yes I might be alive, have a sense of humor, be able to talk normally, but that doesn't mean I'm happy/full of life, not every suicidal person is a distraught mess some of are just done with it all and see death as the most rational answer to our issues. the day I went to CTB my mind was perfectly clear I was not distraught at all and had been through enough and had tried enough to get better to have confidence in my decision. The "professionals" I spoke to at the hospital seemed to be completely dumbfounded by this.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@lwlaiet8887 Man I feel you and I don't know your mum but this time she was trying to help however she knew best, it's not her fault for not knowing better. I hear what you say and it reminds me of what I went through with my mum but now when I look back.. They're really just trying to help and I know, I know how much it hurts but there's no purpose in pushing them away.

I for one am glad that my mum didn't just dump me on street after all the negative energy I threw at her. She's basically the only person who's there for me right now and I wouldn't want to be alone.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

@lwlaiet8887 Man I feel you and I don't know your mum but this time she was trying to help however she knew best, it's not her fault for not knowing better. I hear what you say and it reminds me of what I went through with my mum but now when I look back.. They're really just trying to help and I know, I know how much it hurts but there's no purpose in pushing them away.

I for one am glad that my mum didn't just dump me on street after all the negative energy I threw at her. She's basically the only person who's there for me right now and I wouldn't want to be alone.

Yeah I get that but I'm literally recovering from a big opiod OD. She woke me up in he morning and then texted me and called me about it and I just responses "okay". One she was home she asked me if I wanted to see the clothes which I genuinely responded that I didn't care. I elaborated on my post a bit since I thought it was a bit shallow but I don't appreciate her trying to make me feel bad when I'm both extremely physically and mentally run down Yes I might appear normal but that doesn't mean I'm remotely happy or okay.

 

[ThisUnrest]

Must be very frustrating. People who have never been suicidal just dont understand what it feels like, or what the day after an OD feels like. That is what makes SS such an unusual place, is that most people on here know those feelings first-hand. It's hard for the outside world to understand or relate.
Your mom is probably trying the best she can, to show you she cares about you. It's hard for family to know what to do. I'm sure shes worried. It's good that she cares about you and is trying to help, even if it feels annoying to you. I have less kind words about "professionals" tho.
Hope you can get some rest.

 

[DepressedSloth]

Yes I'm insulting my mother again. She bought me some new clothes today and thought I'd be excited to hear of it. I told her to stop bothering me and that I really didn't care at the moment and she essentially left the house sobbing and said something along the lines of "why do I bother helping you?" I literally tried to OD a day ago and my body is completely run down and I really couldn't give a fuck about new clothes at the moment and it's not like I go outside ever. And it's not so much about the clothes It's just that nothing fits me due to how my body is built, I hate having to wear clothes in general just because they just drape over me and make me feel more miniscule than I already am. I have already posted pictures and talked about in detail so you should know where I'm coming from. Seriously all of those so called "helpful" people just have made my life 10x more hellish and unenjoyable. I just want to be left alone so my body can physically recover. I have to admit it does feel satisfying being so physically weak and tired at the moment, I feel barely observant of life. I'm probably the most casual suicidal person ever though and explained to here why I rationally did it and she seemed to understand, I just don't get why she think something so petty would be worth fretting me over at a time like this. Yes I might be alive, have a sense of humor, be able to talk normally, but that doesn't mean I'm happy/full of life, not every suicidal person is a distraught mess some of are just done with it all and see death as the most rational answer to our issues. the day I went to CTB my mind was perfectly clear I was not distraught at all and had been through enough and had tried enough to get better to have confidence in my decision. The "professionals" I spoke to at the hospital seemed to be completely dumbfounded by this.

Damn this is so relatable. I have a different kind of background, but the place you're at in your mind and with your decision, and also the lack of understanding from other people who just haven't ever been in your shoes, this is all too painfully relatable.

 

[real human being]

I definitely resonate with the fact that people who have never been suicidal, depressed, in the depths of mental hell, don't understand what it's like and I myself have had almost exclusively negative experiences in interacting with mental health professionals such as psychiatrists and psychologists, it really feels like those fucks just want to put you in a neat little box. All psychiatrists know how to do is label you as ill and throw drugs at you until you are sedated enough to not care. Thinking about it makes me angry.

That being said, maybe try being more considerate of your mom. It seems that your state is very distressing for her and she's just doing what she can. Though, I feel like a hypocrite saying that as I have a very rocky relationship with my parents as well.