My month of waiting is over, I'm thinking about hanging myself tomorrow. Any reasons to reconsider?

[Unununium]

My deadline has arrived. I was gonna do this a month ago but I made one last attempt with something job-related, and allowed myself to wait for up to one month for a possible answer, which, of course, didn't come.

So I'm thinking I can go tomorrow. I could wait up to the 9th of the month as well, but I really see no point in waiting longer.
My homemade hanging setup has been improved and it is ready. I only have to pack up my computer and store it in a box and that's pretty much it.
I bought myself a nice chocolate cake which I'm gonna eat tomorrow before the act. I can even eat all of it and not have to deal with diarrhea later, ha. I just have to make sure I go before I start digesting it.

I've been thinking about this moment daily, doing long introspective talks with myself, analyzing my past, present and possible future. I can't find any excuse to justify my continued existence.

I'm not necessarily obstinate on having to do it though, it's just the only thing that makes sense to me at this point. But I'm open to external ideas and perspectives I might have failed to contemplate.

Is there anything that you guys think I should consider, that I might have not thought about, that would make me change my mind? I mean, I'm not trying to have my mind changed necessarily, I just thought maybe another person can give me a brand new perspective on something that I haven't considered in a certain way yet, and that might make me change my decision.

 

[Hope:-)]

Tell us a little about yourself and I may be able to help. Age? Job? Any relationships? etc if it doesn't make you uncomfortable x

 

[Dot]

Depnds on ur reasns fr c.t.b

Wld u feel cmfrtble tlkng abt thm

 

[Life_and_Death]

My deadline has arrived. I was gonna do this a month ago but I made one last attempt with something job-related, and allowed myself to wait for up to one month for a possible answer, which, of course, didn't come.

So I'm thinking I can go tomorrow. I could wait up to the 9th of the month as well, but I really see no point in waiting longer.

without knowing exactly what youre talking about (im assuming youre trying to get hired and are waiting for a call back) this reminds me of the problem i have with things. "well i could (hang up/leave/ect), but i could be 1 second away from what im looking for".
i do question (if im right) why you are hanging your hat on this specific job thing. if it is trying to get a job, why not try to get a different job?
and like the others said, a bit of backstory would be helpful, we cant say whether or not we would continue or try again if we dont know what brought you here

 

[Unununium]

Isn't there anything you guys could tell me that could be applicable to anybody, regardless of their details? Like something that would apply to any human being in general. Like, "did you think that life is worth living because of X?", or "did you try this Y thing first?"... something like that.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Isn't there anything you guys could tell me that could be applicable to anybody, regardless of their details? Like something that would apply to any human being in general. Like, "did you think that life is worth living because of X?", or "did you try this Y thing first?"... something like that.

aside from the basic empty sayings like "oh but you wont get to taste your favorite pizza anymore" that we try to avoid here, not that i can think of
but i cant think anyway so

 

[Hollowillow]

My deadline has arrived. I was gonna do this a month ago but I made one last attempt with something job-related, and allowed myself to wait for up to one month for a possible answer, which, of course, didn't come.

So I'm thinking I can go tomorrow. I could wait up to the 9th of the month as well, but I really see no point in waiting longer.
My homemade hanging setup has been improved and it is ready. I only have to pack up my computer and store it in a box and that's pretty much it.
I bought myself a nice chocolate cake which I'm gonna eat tomorrow before the act. I can even eat all of it and not have to deal with diarrhea later, ha. I just have to make sure I go before I start digesting it.

I've been thinking about this moment daily, doing long introspective talks with myself, analyzing my past, present and possible future. I can't find any excuse to justify my continued existence.

I'm not necessarily obstinate on having to do it though, it's just the only thing that makes sense to me at this point. But I'm open to external ideas and perspectives I might have failed to contemplate.

Is there anything that you guys think I should consider, that I might have not thought about, that would make me change my mind? I mean, I'm not trying to have my mind changed necessarily, I just thought maybe another person can give me a brand new perspective on something that I haven't considered in a certain way yet, and that might make me change my decision.

I don't have enough information so I'll poop random

Rope
I'm scared to get paralyzed & mute, if I do full suspention & break my neck. Theboy survived it even after passing out... I choose partial, on a doorknob like robin williams. But failed 3 times. Chickened out when I was about to pass out from my "test". Never could pass out when I panicked & meant it. I put the rope too high on my neck according to a guide. I could pass the rope above the door and hang standing up with my knees bent. But I got hit by a car, my neck still hurt from whiplash. I shouldn't mess with it. And I'm brain damaged enough. I read that SN doesn't cause brain damage because you're fine & van be saved until the whole body shuts down. With rope it damages right away? So I'm reconsidering SN

Reason to cbt?
If you're not about to be homeless from lack of job and only feel unworthy to live if not used like a slave, fuck that. See it as a vacation. Or learn new skills. I'm on disability, they never acknowledged my physical pain, so officially it's for mental disorders. You can fake it (don't even need to if you are suicidal) and get paid to just not ctb. Then you can enjoy a relaxed life free of the corporate madness, like a rich guy, or retiring sooner than expected. You can do volunteering to boost your self esteem and entertain yourself. But they were companies who refused to pay their employees so I hated to encourage exploitation by ungrateful jerks. Find hobbies, clubs, meet people. If you're not in agony... Enjoy your viable body.

Mental illness
No such thing. It's not a brain defect dooming you. Just a warning to do better self care. If eatong cake gives you nadty diharea, You could be allergic to wheat, celiac, reactive hypoglycemia, deficiency Of viramin c,b, magnesium, d... They all cause extreme pain, exhaustion, distress, enough to make people suicidal. Mental pain isn't a flaw or who we are but a sign of trauma. We can heal in a better environment... But society is heartless... So I understand your desire to nope out.

 

[conflagration]

Personally my biggest reasons to not CTB:
1. I know my relatives would suffer, especially my mother and I don't want to be a cause of their suffering. Suicide is contagious, many people who CTB known someone in their lifes that also CTBed.
2. I consider that there is some kind of afterlife, I believe in reincarnation and karma and this keeps me motivated to make best out of this life.
3. Medications can do wonders so if you have not tried them give them a shot.

 

[Darkover]

2. I consider that there is some kind of afterlife, I believe in reincarnation and karma and this keeps me motivated to make best out of this life.

do you really think there is such a thing as karma given the fact we have the power to kill all life on the planet

 

[Unununium]

I'm scared to get paralyzed & mute, if I do full suspention & break my neck. Theboy survived it even after passing out...

Who survived after passing out?

 

[makethepainstop]

My deadline has arrived. I was gonna do this a month ago but I made one last attempt with something job-related, and allowed myself to wait for up to one month for a possible answer, which, of course, didn't come.

So I'm thinking I can go tomorrow. I could wait up to the 9th of the month as well, but I really see no point in waiting longer.
My homemade hanging setup has been improved and it is ready. I only have to pack up my computer and store it in a box and that's pretty much it.
I bought myself a nice chocolate cake which I'm gonna eat tomorrow before the act. I can even eat all of it and not have to deal with diarrhea later, ha. I just have to make sure I go before I start digesting it.

I've been thinking about this moment daily, doing long introspective talks with myself, analyzing my past, present and possible future. I can't find any excuse to justify my continued existence.

I'm not necessarily obstinate on having to do it though, it's just the only thing that makes sense to me at this point. But I'm open to external ideas and perspectives I might have failed to contemplate.

Is there anything that you guys think I should consider, that I might have not thought about, that would make me change my mind? I mean, I'm not trying to have my mind changed necessarily, I just thought maybe another person can give me a brand new perspective on something that I haven't considered in a certain way yet, and that might make me change my decision.

Above all else, make sure you have the right data to back up your effort to ctb. Failure in this type of endeavor can lead to the most unpleasant after-effects.
May your decision be the correct one for you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

on a doorknob like robin williams

granted im not 100% on my source but..where did you get yours because im questioning its accuracy
"hanging by a nylon belt in a closet door frame."

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe you should post in the recovery section of the forum if you are looking for advice relating to continuing life/reasons to live. This is the suicide discussion. I don't have an answer to the question as the concept of 'recovery' does not even exist to me. There is no 'recovery' from seeing life for what it really is. I personally have a very strong dislike for living and I believe that staying alive only prolongs suffering. I only exist as actually going through with suicide is not easy. But to me the thought of any kind of existence is completely unappealing and I'm very tired of this world.
Whatever you choose, I wish you the best.

 

[nothankstosuffering]

Nothing for you to reconsider, but i would still be glad, if i check this thread tomorrow and you are still around.
Maybe for some talking and sharing things, if you feel so!

 

[Tiny Little Tree]

Is there someone you can speak to you can actually share details with?

 

[Dot]

Slf oftn say

C.t.b = th/ finl thng tht u wll d/

S/ jst kp tht in mnd

 

[AnonymousS]

My deadline has arrived. I was gonna do this a month ago but I made one last attempt with something job-related, and allowed myself to wait for up to one month for a possible answer, which, of course, didn't come.

So I'm thinking I can go tomorrow. I could wait up to the 9th of the month as well, but I really see no point in waiting longer.
My homemade hanging setup has been improved and it is ready. I only have to pack up my computer and store it in a box and that's pretty much it.
I bought myself a nice chocolate cake which I'm gonna eat tomorrow before the act. I can even eat all of it and not have to deal with diarrhea later, ha. I just have to make sure I go before I start digesting it.

I've been thinking about this moment daily, doing long introspective talks with myself, analyzing my past, present and possible future. I can't find any excuse to justify my continued existence.

I'm not necessarily obstinate on having to do it though, it's just the only thing that makes sense to me at this point. But I'm open to external ideas and perspectives I might have failed to contemplate.

Is there anything that you guys think I should consider, that I might have not thought about, that would make me change my mind? I mean, I'm not trying to have my mind changed necessarily, I just thought maybe another person can give me a brand new perspective on something that I haven't considered in a certain way yet, and that might make me change my decision.

If you're asking this question on this forum, then you obviously have doubts personally. It's not a criticism, but when you want out, you just want out.

 

[conflagration]

do you really think there is such a thing as karma given the fact we have the power to kill all life on the planet

Karma is an misunderstood concept. It is not some justice system that keeps score for everyone and arranges situations that justice can be done.
Karma is a state of mind that you bring from life to life. Or at least I believe so when I am not completely nihilistic.

 

[nothankstosuffering]

Just checking for you OP. If you are still with us, mind keeping an update?

 

[Ashu]

do you really think there is such a thing as karma given the fact we have the power to kill all life on the planet

How does that contradict karma theory?

Karma is an misunderstood concept. It is not some justice system that keeps score for everyone and arranges situations that justice can be done.
Karma is a state of mind that you bring from life to life.

Something like that, in part. The concept is as big and complex as Asian civilization itself.

 

[Darkover]

How does that contradict karma theory?

because if you kill everyone there would be nobody alive for karma theory to work

 

[brokensea]

In Man's Search for Meaning the people he knew who committed suicide had lost all hope. He wrote that man can endure anything if he has hope. So you have to ask yourself is there any hope in your life for anything to change. Get better. A dream you could fulfill that would give your life meaning you could work on? A purpose?

I live out of guilt for others suffering but I hope after my trip to find the courage to CTB. I have no hope at all. But if you can find hope or any reason at all to live you have to deeply reflect on that because there is no coming back.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think you just need to do some inner soul searching, or reflection, whatever you want to call it, on your life, and decide if the life you have is worth living. Can you make your life better? Do you see anything out in the future that could be better? Are your reasons for living still outweighing your reasons for wanting to ctb? Is this a world in which you can still see yourself living? Do you still have hope? Dying is not a decision to be taken lightly or made hastily. It's a personal decision that only you can make.

For me, I don't like this world or my life in it, and I see nothing coming in the future, as far as my life becoming better, than right now. As a matter of fact, I see my life as becoming worse as time goes on. I weighed all the pros and cons with living and dying. As far as reasons to keep living, I could come up with none. But, I did take the time to do it, thoughtfully. My decision was not made in haste.

 

[Unhirable]

Scratch off tickets or lotto

If you do lotto choose your own numbers.

If you live in a country with no lotto then online poker.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you want a reason to reconsider? I'd agree with many of the posts here. Kind of feel if there are still glimmers of hope, perhaps it's worth exploring them. I wish you well whatever you decide.

 

[Someone123]

My deadline has arrived. I was gonna do this a month ago but I made one last attempt with something job-related, and allowed myself to wait for up to one month for a possible answer, which, of course, didn't come.

So I'm thinking I can go tomorrow. I could wait up to the 9th of the month as well, but I really see no point in waiting longer.
My homemade hanging setup has been improved and it is ready.

Are you thinking about partial or full suspension? For full suspension it is important to be confident you won't be pulled down partway through and then possibly end up with a disability- this method needs time to work- of course this is true of partial as well.

If you are planning on partial one thing you need to know is that this method does fail a high percentage of the time- people pass out and then their body stands up even after passing out due to survival instinct (SI). Several different peopl have posted on this forum within the past year that they failed at this method from 15 to 25 times, though it does sometimes work. I just wouldn't get my hopes up too high of this method working if you are trying partial. If you have a good setup for full in a place you won't be interrupted for at least 30 minutes- like having a house to yourself, that is the most likely way to get this to work. If you don't have this you might want to consider another method. I hope you can find peace somehow.

 

[lunasoleada]

Hey Is you need talk just contact me

 

[Ashu]

because if you kill everyone there would be nobody alive for karma theory to work

There would still be animals and plants. Karma governs the whole animated world.