Story My low intelligence and loneliness

[Gaga786]

I don't think im very smart. In fact I think Im very dumb compared to today's standards. Throughout my life I failed all subjects in school. My parents would be called every year where the teachers would explain how dumb I am and how much of a failure I was. My father didn't even show up to the meetings leaving It all to my mother who would come up with the perfect excuse: my daughters are getting married so unfortunately I can't devote any my any sort of time to my son. I had to receive extra classes for all my subjects ; I would come home 2 hours late and what sucked was that deep down, I knew I was a failure and that hurt a lot. My basics regarding English and Math are all mediocre if not worse than all of my peers. Moving onto the next part which was loneliness. Oh man! did it suck being alone, I fell accustomed to it because each day I would have to sit alone in break, eat my lunch and then wander around mindlessly for the next 20 minutes while looking and envying others having a marvellous time with their friends. I tried to make friends but it all failed and one day I remember I sat next to a group with the popular children. I thought it was working and I felt as if I was also a part of their conversation or at least, I thought that way because the next thing I noticed was that I was chased away by them while they laughed thinking what kind of a pathetic loser sat with them. Maybe, these are all reasons as to why I want to CBT or atleast, they contribute to it in some sort of way

 

[Pain In The Ass]

the teachers would explain how dumb I am and how much of a failure I was

that sounds so funny, if that was literally what they were saying to your mom, about her son - this site is so funny sometimes, despite it being about such darkness

 

[Gaga786]

that sounds so funny, if that was literally what they were saying to your mom, about her son - this site is so funny sometimes, despite it being about such darkness

thats literally what they would say. Once, the headmistress told my mother that its better if your son goes to study at a state school (which is at the lowest quality in Pakistan)thats what they always implied that I was a terrible student

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so much. This life really is so unfair and some people are just so cruel. I wish you the best.

 

[Gaga786]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so much. This life really is so unfair and some people are just so cruel. I wish you the best.

Thank you. Your words truly mean a lot.

 

[Sittichmutter]

I don't think im very smart. In fact I think Im very dumb compared to today's standards. Throughout my life I failed all subjects in school. My parents would be called every year where the teachers would explain how dumb I am and how much of a failure I was. My father didn't even show up to the meetings leaving It all to my mother who would come up with the perfect excuse: my daughters are getting married so unfortunately I can't devote any my any sort of time to my son. I had to receive extra classes for all my subjects ; I would come home 2 hours late and what sucked was that deep down, I knew I was a failure and that hurt a lot. My basics regarding English and Math are all mediocre if not worse than all of my peers. Moving onto the next part which was loneliness. Oh man! did it suck being alone, I fell accustomed to it because each day I would have to sit alone in break, eat my lunch and then wander around mindlessly for the next 20 minutes while looking and envying others having a marvellous time with their friends. I tried to make friends but it all failed and one day I remember I sat next to a group with the popular children. I thought it was working and I felt as if I was also a part of their conversation or at least, I thought that way because the next thing I noticed was that I was chased away by them while they laughed thinking what kind of a pathetic loser sat with them. Maybe, these are all reasons as to why I want to CBT or atleast, they contribute to it in some sort of way

Dear,
You express yourself well.
You are definitely intelligent.
About not being popular, aren't we all?
If your lonelyness is heavy for you, It is time to engage in activities to learn people. Sports and charity work is a good way to start.
I Hope to lessen your pain.
Feel hughed and loved!

 

[Pain In The Ass]

thats literally what they would say. Once, the headmistress told my mother that its better if your son goes to study at a state school (which is at the lowest quality in Pakistan)thats what they always implied that I was a terrible student

Why did they say this? You're obviously not dumb. You can type grammatically correct sentences, and think and reflect upon your life. Why did they think this?

 

[Al Cappella]

Not to take away from your pain at all, or to in any way invalidate what you're saying—but generally people who think they're stupid aren't. Really stupid people don't know it, and in fact believe quite the opposite. Dunning-Kruger, etc…

 

[Gaga786]

Why did they say this? You're obviously not dumb. You can type grammatically correct sentences, and think and reflect upon your life. Why did they think this?

I honestly don't know but to be honest when I was young, thats the impression that I emitted. I really did act stupid in many different ways now that I remember

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I always thought other people were stupid. I didn't realize I was the stupid one.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I honestly don't know but to be honest when I was young, thats the impression that I emitted. I really did act stupid in many different ways now that I remember

same here to be honest - I acted the fool all the time, but I know I wasn't stupid - I went back to college recently to take high school exams just to prove it to myself, and got A in Maths and English - I regret allowing these school boards to define my identity now - that was a year I could've spent working towards my real goals, which don't include academic, career bullshit!

 

[nopride86]

You have intrinsic worth that no standardized test or group of shitty people can determine. This world, the way that society designed it, is cruel to anyone but the exceptional and I'm sorry that it placed you on the receiving end of it. I promise, you know more about things in this world than what the mindless number-crunchers and socialites can even comprehend. It seems like you were covertly abused/neglected by the people who were meant to show up for you and guide you, and their failure became your inner voice. You deserved better.

Also, it is not your duty to be anything other than a human being. It sucks that we have to hold down jobs (that operate just like school) to "earn" our basic needs.

 

[Gaga786]

You have intrinsic worth that no standardized test or group of shitty people can determine. This world, the way that society designed it, is cruel to anyone but the exceptional and I'm sorry that it placed you on the receiving end of it. I promise, you know more about things in this world than what the mindless number-crunchers and socialites can even comprehend. It seems like you were covertly abused/neglected by the people who were meant to show up for you and guide you, and their failure became your inner voice. You deserved better.

Also, it is not your duty to be anything other than a human being. It sucks that we have to hold down jobs (that operate just like school) to "earn" our basic needs.

thank you for your kind words. There was a lot of neglect and abuse during my childhood. My father completely neglected me, and it led me to have daddy issues where I found older men - particularly fathers- attractive. I would watch videos and cartoons depicting a father and son relationship, because I craved it that so badly. I'm just tired of living like this