StarryStarry
Cat Lady
- Oct 25, 2021
- 750
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I've been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by my parents, friends, co-workers, bosses and every other person I've come into contact with. I'm so tired of being told how "strong" I am for surviving the circumstances of my life. I am 67, at a point in time where I have no family (daughter was murdered and son hasn't spoken to me in over 6 years) - his wife didn't like me and they couldn't deal with my depression. He told me to get the fuck out of his house and never come back - so I did. Recently, I was fired from a job (I really quit - but he thinks he fired me). This guy had a violent temper, would make fun of my depression, called me a bitch and that he didn't give a fuck about me or my itty bitty feelings. I found another job, took over for someone who had been there for 26 years - BIG mistake. During the interview they promised me all kinds of things - once I got there none of them came to fruition. I've been in my field of work for 30 years. They wouldn't let me call clients, blamed me for things the previous person had done, they literally set me up for failure. I stayed about five weeks - my stress and anxiety level were off the chart so for my health I quit. Now I sit at home, watch movies, hang out here (a lot) and think about suicide. I keep thinking I'm old, no one will hire me, I have no money, there is no one who cares and I really want to be with my little girl. Then there is this other voice that says are you giving up? Keep trying. I look at my sweet cat who I love with all my heart and can't even think of taking her with me (I can't find anyone to take her). I'm so torn, I hate myself for not having the strength and bravery to leave. Please don't respond with mean remarks - I feel bad enough about myself. Thanks for listening.
