Venting "My life is slowly starting to turn for the better! Maybe this means i can finally be free from SI" 🤡🤡🤡

[pyroxenic]

I was getting to a point where i have made a life decision for my self that will help me, i gained courage and was actually excited for the future, i literally felt that i wanted to live for the first time in literal years.

Then 3 months later, cut foward to today; i am back to square one in my bed wondering what the fuck is the point of my existance and what i do. It feels like life loves to play cruel jokes on me, and fuck me deep in the ass no foreplay out of no where.

It was foolish of me to believe in wishful thinking like this, as if this hasnt happend before. But, this time it hurts even more somehow. I genuine see no point in anything anymore and i just want to be locked up in a mental ward tbh. Just to escape from my enviorment for once.

Someone should hire me in a circus as a fulltime clown, because this bozo thought he can ever turn his life around and be stable, and no more SI.



And i thought that i wouldnt use this site in a long while when i was being optemistic about my life with little SI during these 3 months... so uh, in glad to be back?

 

[Abyssal]

Been there.

Thought I was doing good and dropped the antidepressants, reached out to get a therapist, got a job.

Now I know what withdrawal feels like, been betrayed by another "professional" and crying on my breaks.

 

[warm dreams]

The same situation. I worked as a lifeguard 4 months ago. Fired out forests, pulled out corpses, worked on road accidents. I thought that everything had worked out and that I would never return to that abyss in my life... I was wrong.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence certainly is too cruel, it's awful how there is no limit as to how unbearable existing can get, it must be dreadful what you are going through. But anyway best wishes.

 

[SVEN]

You know you will always find a home here with us in the "Legion of the Damned & Misfits", whether you are up or down. Welcome back, best wishes on getting through today.