My life is ruined

[Ms.Starr]

I can't stop replaying out my life in my mind over and over again. I feel like I am slowly suffocating. I can't bear the weight of the consequences of my life. I feel a deep sense of discomfort with existence. I have life shattering grief over my failure to create a meaningful successful life. Some things were out of my control. I have survived many injustices with no closure. They haunt me and my inability to protect myself. I feel rage against my existence. I don't want to be here anymore. I am utterly distraught. I am not going to make it. I don't want to keep living in the aftermath of the life I have had to endure. I am alone suffering every single minute of my existence. Every waking moment feels like torture. How dare anyone tell me how I should feel about cbt'ing. They don't have to live my life so don't have a say. This is terminal at this point. The only cure is cbt'ing. For me to live is a worse fate than being alive.

 

[Hollowillow]

I feel the same. I have physical pain and no one gives a fuck. I could be saved easily... But they deny me & get in the way. Fuck it. Let"s die! But how!

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

It's like reading my own thoughts lol

 

[Eternal Distancing]

I feel so many of the things you shared. Just trying to physically and figuratively keep my head up is difficult and tiring. I feel like my chest is caving in and I find myself constantly leaning forward with my head rolling down buried in my hands because the mere thought of how my life has played out makes me sick to my stomach. I can't even pretend to feel relaxed and sit up with good posture. I literally feel like I am crumbling and powerless to stop it.

 

[Meineendscheidung]

Zu leben ist für mich ein schlimmeres Schicksal als am Leben zu sein.

Bin bei Dir, ich empfinde es genau wie Du, aber schon viel zu lang.
SN ist meine Erlösung von all diesen weltlichen Schmerzen.
Wünsche Dir, daß alles so wird wie Du es willst.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always felt discomfort with existence, there is no peace or real relief from suffering in a life this. Just simply existing is so horrifying. It's such a cruel world where so much pain exists. Ctb is also the solution for me as to die would remove the cause of all my problems in the first place which is life itself. I wish you freedom.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Same. Forced to live in the aftermath of other people's attacks on me after spending years loyally sacrificing and helping them. While they go on with their lives unaffected by anything.

 

[allblackallwhite]

I can't stop replaying out my life in my mind over and over again. I feel like I am slowly suffocating. I can't bear the weight of the consequences of my life. I feel a deep sense of discomfort with existence. I have life shattering grief over my failure to create a meaningful successful life. Some things were out of my control. I have survived many injustices with no closure. They haunt me and my inability to protect myself. I feel rage against my existence. I don't want to be here anymore. I am utterly distraught. I am not going to make it. I don't want to keep living in the aftermath of the life I have had to endure. I am alone suffering every single minute of my existence. Every waking moment feels like torture. How dare anyone tell me how I should feel about cbt'ing. They don't have to live my life so don't have a say. This is terminal at this point. The only cure is cbt'ing. For me to live is a worse fate than being alive.

I feel all of this so much. You don't have to be alone here. A lot of people get it and are here for you on your final stop. Don't be afraid to lean on them. This is a good place.