My life is not worth living

[FuneralCry]

For me, this is the truth. There is no reason to carry on, there is nothing to look forward to. All I do is wish I was not here. My days are very long. Time passes too slowly. I try to distract myself but nothing will take away the emptiness. There is nothing to enjoy, only things to stress about. I spent hours watching TV shows I do not really care about and I couldn't concentrate on them much anyway. I cannot distract myself, even if I try to, from the fact that things will get worse, it is inevitable.

Even thinking about the next month is unpleasant, I cannot even bear to think about the next year. I don't know why I put up with this life and continue to exist day after day. I am just tired and I want to rest. I have had many bad experiences in the past, but maybe at times things were not as bad, even know I never have wanted to be alive. However we often tend to view the past as being better than it actually was, the truth is I know I was miserable even in those times. Of course talking about the past is irrelevant now. Things were different in certain ways, but now I will be forever stuck in this empty existence.

I think even if I wanted to live, I couldn't. If I had hope it would be delusional. It would soon be shattered because of how horrible life is. I would fail at anything if I tried and it would just cause unnecessary pain. It is better that I have accepted everything as being hopeless. There is nothing I want from life anyway.
I do think the day when I finally leave this world, will be the best day. My existence was a mistake, I never should have been here. Once you are dead, you cannot suffer, you cannot think, you cannot experience anything. I will be at peace. I do not want anyone to be sad, it is the right thing for me. I hope they say, 'at least now she is in a better place, free of this horrible life.
I know this is a boring post, as usual I am posting about the same thing.

 

[rationaltake]

I understand. Nobody should have to suffer like this. May you find peace.

 

[yive]

i'm in the same boat, every day is hell, i don't even know what to say. anyway, best wishes from me. i hope we all find peace

 

[marinekiwi]

I know you despise being alive, and can relate to you fully.
Yet your posts are so full of love and understanding.
You sure seem like a lovely person to have as a friend. I'm so sorry life is so rude with you.

 

[Seafoam]

As far as I'm concerned you're preaching.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I relate to everything you say. I am 36 and I overstayed my welcome. I should have been gone since I was 21. Happiness in life is nothing but a delusion

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Like I said before, you are always there for others and that is admirable considering your circumstances. That said, I truly do hope you find the peace you are looking for one day.

 

[bored_user]

I know how you feel. The best distraction is the small beautiful moments that the planet has to offer, far from all the social interaction that causes ALL the problems. Wake up early, enjoy the sunrise, sunset, a beautiful blue sky or a starry night and thus get seconds of peace... Experience the little bit of pleasure that this shitty life offers us.

You seem like a good person, I wish peace and that one day I can make a decision, whatever it is.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I relate SO much to everything you wrote. My life is pretty much exactly like yours, i.e. the endless days, the TV watching/distractions that don't really seem to distract, the unbearable amount of stress(es) every day, the realization that any hope is only delusion. I understand precisely,

I'm so sorry you are in such pain and life has been terrible to you. It isn't right. You always show such compassion and caring for others here on SS, including towards me, which proves you have a beautiful soul and a kind heart - people like you are so desperately needed and valuable in this ugly, harsh world yet it's people like you that life seems to mercilessly, continually beat down. I know it is probably of little comfort but still I want to tell you that the compassion and kindness you've shown me on here has meant a lot to me. You've helped make my sadness and hopelessness a little easier to bear.

I hope with all my heart that one day, in whatever way it happens, you'll find peace from your suffering.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Life in general is not worth living. Aside of the suffering fact and how many bad stuff can happen to someone during a lifetime, it doesn't really make sense, we're here for nothing and we cope with all this meaningless shit by engaging in distractions. They tell you life is a blessing, while they go consume another piece of media to distract themselves in order to not think about it. In order to not feel that specific anxiety.

Life is never ending torture and death is the salvation from it.

 

[MeltedJello]

I feel the same way. Living is just suffering.

 

[Fakereality]

I myself tend to stay away from the word "hope" i have deep resentment for it, its a useless and dangerous word the use or relying on which has only ever given me more pain and disappointments, life as a whole is basically just a string of disappointments we are forced to put up with in this authoritarian crazy dystopia of a world, wondering away our life's in thinking how thing's could have been.

 

[chocolatebar]

No life is worth living. The only difference is that other people get some satisfaction from doing things that are only mere distractions while we don't die. I like to think about life as a game which we lose just by starting and the only thing we can do is try to minimize the losses

 

[ClownMe]

This sounds exactly like my existence, living for the sake of living, but not actually living. It's a sad world.

 

[Pluto]

 

[eternalmelancholy]

For me, this is the truth. There is no reason to carry on, there is nothing to look forward to. All I do is wish I was not here. My days are very long. Time passes too slowly. I try to distract myself but nothing will take away the emptiness. There is nothing to enjoy, only things to stress about. I spent hours watching TV shows I do not really care about and I couldn't concentrate on them much anyway. I cannot distract myself, even if I try to, from the fact that things will get worse, it is inevitable.

The last 10 years dragged on so slowly it felt more like 50 years. That is what happens when you have nothing to look forward to. You are not living you are just existing. Every day is the same. Your mood is constantly gloom. The emptiness kills you slowly within.