Almost worth it

[graveface]

Welp, after decades of being depressed, i finally had about a year of really having my MH under control. Then I got the news today that the pain I thought was an injury is incurable and will only get worse. So pain when walking or doing other previously-loved activities is my life now.

Three people even know about this, and I've told them it's fine. Why not? There's nothing they or anyone can do to help.

You know what's really funny? I was tentatively thinking I could almost tell my past self that pushing through all the depression and pain was worth it. Oh well.

I'm obtaining preferred method, going off mood stabilizers, and letting nature take its course. Once my quality of life tanks, Imma head out.

 

[Doll Steak]

I hope you find peace, I'm sorry it had to be this way.

 

[graveface]

The funny thing too is that I was on the verge of thinking maybe other aspects of my life were meaningful too, instead of listening to the depression tell me that I have no worth or anything to say as a person. I've been writing since I was small and was finally going to try to gain a following in order to publish a book this summer. It didn't matter to me that this was kind of a dreamy, playful thing to do. Now I see that for the pathetic play-world scheme it is.

 

[Forveleth]

Not to sound whiny, but I always felt like as soon as I had my shit together, life would punch me in the face. I know life is a series of challenges you have to overcome, but they were always massive setbacks that just seemed to undermine what I had accomplished.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can at least use some of the MH lessons to make the remainder of your time more bearable