My life is completely over at 25

[FireFox]

I am not young to do anything anymore. I will be 26 years old when I apply for place for a masters degree that is so embrassing as most masters are in their early 20s or mid 20s. I am far behind in everything anything I do now is just shows how I failed to do things properly. I never going to find a man who loves me.

I am just a loser

All day I pretended to be happy on birthday and everyone believes it. My family even said " this is the first birthday you have been happy"

My birthday was the absolute worst day of my life. I only pretended to be happy because the last time I said I was depressed about birthday everyone dismissed me and nobody wanted to listen.

All my problems no one understands in the real world. It's too late to fix things. It's completely over for me. Everyone is doing better than me

 

[its-about-time]

Perspective, yo. You think getting your masters 3 years later than ***SOME*** of the students in your class makes you a failure? Take a beat and try to realize you're setting standards for yourself that are literally impossible (going back in time, for one). Get off Facebook or wherever you're seeing all these people your age doing "more" than you. Social media is absolute garbage and the only outcome of using it is feeling worse about yourself. Start working on your masters and be goddamn proud that you've pushed so hard to get to the point where you're able to even start such an awesome thing. Laugh at the people with easy, care-free lives and admire the people who actually have been through some shit yet still accomplish things in life— on ANY timeline, not just the one expected of youth. You're 25 and you need to take a couple steps back and look at your life through a broader lens.

I didn't sugar coat anything here, hope you understand this is sincere advice that I could've used when I had the same mindset years ago.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

So you think you're a loser because someone will get their masters and persist a few years longer in a world that will ultimately be wracked by global warming , peak oil, overpopulation, state collapse , and famine ?

Not unrealistic to think that the degrees issued will be used as fire kindling in the coming decades

I'll never understand people like this. You buy the lies the televisions tell you. The rich nations have already outright genocided multiple middle eastern nations to keep their scam going . What's going to happen when they check Iran off the list and there's nowhere left to invade ? No oil left to pump?

 

[FireFox]

Perspective, yo. You think getting your masters 3 years later than ***SOME*** of the students in your class makes you a failure? Take a beat and try to realize you're setting standards for yourself that are literally impossible (going back in time, for one). Get off Facebook or wherever you're seeing all these people your age doing "more" than you. Social media is absolute garbage and the only outcome of using it is feeling worse about yourself. Start working on your masters and be goddamn proud that you've pushed so hard to get to the point where you're able to even start such an awesome thing. Laugh at the people with easy, care-free lives and admire the people who actually have been through some shit yet still accomplish things in life— on ANY timeline, not just the one expected of youth. You're 25 and you need to take a couple steps back and look at your life through a broader lens.

I didn't sugar coat anything here, hope you understand this is sincere advice that I could've used when I had the same mindset years ago.

@its-about-time

I don't even use social media but I am around people who are doing better than me, I see all it all the time. I know so many people my age having careers, getting married and doing really huge things since leaving school.

Here some examples in my current life:
- My former university friend she has an apartment, has a career and lives in a different city as well as travelled the world

- There is woman in the church I attend and we both went to the same school. She is 25 year's old. She is now a primary school teacher and is getting married.

- A girl I went to school with and who attends the same church as me. She attended Oxford University, got a job in pr and married all at the age of 23

- In my own family I have relatives who constantly show off all the time ie their successful businesses making profit or children's achievements. My family say they are proud of me but I am nothing to be proud of they can't see how f*cked up I truly am.

It's impossible not to feel like a failure when you physically see people your age doing huge things with their lives. There is me with nothing really exciting happening it is the absolute worst. I never left my home town, I graduated from university with a law degree and fell apart after graduating university. I was unemployed then found a job but then my employer couldnt afford to keep me longer so I am now back to square one. Every week I have to report to the jobcentre which is a place where you collect welfare benefits in the UK.

So you think you're a loser because someone will get their masters and persist a few years longer in a world that will ultimately be wracked by global warming , peak oil, overpopulation, state collapse , and famine ?

Not unrealistic to think that the degrees issued will be used as fire kindling in the coming decades

I'll never understand people like this. You buy the lies the televisions tell you. The rich nations have already outright genocided multiple middle eastern nations to keep their scam going . What's going to happen when they check Iran off the list and there's nowhere left to invade ? No oil left to pump?

@SuicidallyCurious

I think I am loser because I have 100% failed to have my life together. Its absolutely has destroyed my confidence. I used to be a very a confident person who wanted to do something meaningful in life but now all I see is a failure. I feel this way every day.

I am very self critical

 

[Slimetae]

I think you justneed to focus on you everyone's life isn't going to be smooth some people are privileged have it better than others it is what it is just try to make you're lifethe way you want not what you see bc they may seem happy but behind closed doors it could be a different story . I mean you have a law degree idk anyone that's went to college that's a win

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

It's too late to fix things. It's completely over for me. Everyone is doing better than me

I'm 26 and I have never even made it to college, I've been stuck in place since high school. I also have zero friends and I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was maybe 9 years old? I have never had a GF, and don't have any chance at all. I also have debilitating chronic health issues (celiac and others) that make it hard for me to even hold on to a minimum wage job. I don't even have anyone to complain and annoy about my problems. If you call yourself a loser, then idk what to call myself anymore.

I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings, but maybe my sorry as situation can put things into a better perspective for you? Because to me you're far from being hopeless. I'd do anything just to be functional enough to go to college.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really is so depressing and unfair. I feel like people only understand if they have been through something similar themselves. It must have been really tiring having to pretend to be happy. I can imagine that it must be painful seeing others have what you want and I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Sittichmutter]

Dear Firefox,
You are still really young.
You have the wide future in front of you.
Please, get help for your depression. It is twisting your Sense of reality.
I know How It feels. Been there...
I started my master with 29 and ended my PhD with 35, pregnant from my first child.
I also felt like a failure, many times.
But there are always many ways to do things, adapt, achieve your dreams.
And about love. Your family loves you. Take a hint from this feeling and start to love yourself too.

 

[its-about-time]

@its-about-time

I don't even use social media but I am around people who are doing better than me, I see all it all the time. I know so many people my age having careers, getting married and doing really huge things since leaving school.

Here some examples in my current life:
- My former university friend she has an apartment, has a career and lives in a different city as well as travelled the world

- There is woman in the church I attend and we both went to the same school. She is 25 year's old. She is now a primary school teacher and is getting married.

- A girl I went to school with and who attends the same church as me. She attended Oxford University, got a job in pr and married all at the age of 23

- In my own family I have relatives who constantly show off all the time ie their successful businesses making profit or children's achievements. My family say they are proud of me but I am nothing to be proud of they can't see how f*cked up I truly am.

It's impossible not to feel like a failure when you physically see people your age doing huge things with their lives. There is me with nothing really exciting happening it is the absolute worst. I never left my home town, I graduated from university with a law degree and fell apart after graduating university. I was unemployed then found a job but then my employer couldnt afford to keep me longer so I am now back to square one. Every week I have to report to the jobcentre which is a place where you collect welfare benefits in the UK.

@SuicidallyCurious

I think I am loser because I have 100% failed to have my life together. Its absolutely has destroyed my confidence. I used to be a very a confident person who wanted to do something meaningful in life but now all I see is a failure. I feel this way every day.

I am very self critical

I didn't even read your examples because they just don't matter. Look, friend, I've been where you're at with this shit. You got to just stop caring. Find some way. Your life isn't over because you don't have what other 25 year olds have. That's the point. I had to drop out of college when I was 19, I got on permanent disability the year after that, I live in a fucking camper trailer. And yeah, I'm suicidal and all the things, but at least I'm not following some societal master plan, neither are you, embrace that you're aware of being alive instead of being some zombie brained dickhole. :)

 

[meetapple]

Comparison doesn't really help. You are not committing a moral crime by not achieving what your peers have achieved. That should be your focus. Work on your self-esteem. Your worth is not dependent on accomplishments which I think you know may be out of your control.

 

[whywhywhy]

I am not young to do anything anymore. I will be 26 years old when I apply for place for a masters degree that is so embrassing as most masters are in their early 20s or mid 20s. I am far behind in everything anything I do now is just shows how I failed to do things properly. I never going to find a man who loves me.

I am just a loser

All day I pretended to be happy on birthday and everyone believes it. My family even said " this is the first birthday you have been happy"

My birthday was the absolute worst day of my life. I only pretended to be happy because the last time I said I was depressed about birthday everyone dismissed me and nobody wanted to listen.

All my problems no one understands in the real world. It's too late to fix things. It's completely over for me. Everyone is doing better than me

@its-about-time

I don't even use social media but I am around people who are doing better than me, I see all it all the time. I know so many people my age having careers, getting married and doing really huge things since leaving school.

Here some examples in my current life:
- My former university friend she has an apartment, has a career and lives in a different city as well as travelled the world

- There is woman in the church I attend and we both went to the same school. She is 25 year's old. She is now a primary school teacher and is getting married.

- A girl I went to school with and who attends the same church as me. She attended Oxford University, got a job in pr and married all at the age of 23

- In my own family I have relatives who constantly show off all the time ie their successful businesses making profit or children's achievements. My family say they are proud of me but I am nothing to be proud of they can't see how f*cked up I truly am.

It's impossible not to feel like a failure when you physically see people your age doing huge things with their lives. There is me with nothing really exciting happening it is the absolute worst. I never left my home town, I graduated from university with a law degree and fell apart after graduating university. I was unemployed then found a job but then my employer couldnt afford to keep me longer so I am now back to square one. Every week I have to report to the jobcentre which is a place where you collect welfare benefits in the UK.

@SuicidallyCurious

I think I am loser because I have 100% failed to have my life together. Its absolutely has destroyed my confidence. I used to be a very a confident person who wanted to do something meaningful in life but now all I see is a failure. I feel this way every day.

I am very self critical

Nah you are just seeing the world through red tainted glasses. Statistically having a degree in law at 24/25 means you are doing better than most of the population.
Its also pretty normal for most people to struggle during the beginning of their careers.

You also consider getting married young a success but for me is moronic. There is a reason why 50% of marriages end up in divorce. People marry without really knowing the other person and then when life gets hard and you have responsabilities you cant escape from the only option is divorce.

 

[Griffin780]

Like other people have said, 26 is so young still. You have plenty of time to figure things out. Regarding love, for a relationship to have the best chance of working out long term..you should probably love yourself first. Instead of thinking that someone else's love for you is going to be enough to last a lifetime. Otherwise, you will most likely experience the same issues you currently have now in whatever new relationship you have in the future.

 

[FireFox]

Dear Firefox,
You are still really young.
You have the wide future in front of you.
Please, get help for your depression. It is twisting your Sense of reality.
I know How It feels. Been there...
I started my master with 29 and ended my PhD with 35, pregnant from my first child.
I also felt like a failure, many times.
But there are always many ways to do things, adapt, achieve your dreams.
And about love. Your family loves you. Take a hint from this feeling and start to love yourself too.

@Sittichmutter I plan to apply for masters degree next year as I can't apply this year but I worry about being a 26 year old university student. Honestly during my birthday on Friday all day I felt so low because this is how my life turned out to be. I was someone who was so focused and had aspirations to do something meaningful with my life but I have failed to have my life together. This is what kills me everyday.

Like other people have said, 26 is so young still. You have plenty of time to figure things out. Regarding love, for a relationship to have the best chance of working out long term..you should probably love yourself first. Instead of thinking that someone else's love for you is going to be enough to last a lifetime. Otherwise, you will most likely experience the same issues you currently have now in whatever new relationship you have in the future.

@Griffin780

I had to spend my teenage years watching the girls ,including friends, my class have boyfriends, get asked out on dates whereas that didn't happen for me. As a teenage girl I was quite confident in which I did public speaking in school assemblies, I was not afraid to raise my hand and answer questions in class correctly or contribute to class questions. At school I was the werid girl that people builled and excluded.

Its gets harder with age seeing women my age getting married, moving in with boyfriends etc. I am total outsider amoung women my age because the majority has their relationships as teenagers. We live in a world centred on relationships look at how women's magazines always talks about relationships and couples issues. There is no information or support on how to cope with being single while everyone is coupled up. If I was taught as teenager how to cope being that girl who always got rejected by the guys maybe I won't be messed up like I am in adulthood.

I can't cope anymore. I feel like only the woman in the world who never had a boyfriend or relationship as a teenager like the majority of society. This is what being single forever does it messes you up and I finally can't cope.

 

[FireFox]

Nah you are just seeing the world through red tainted glasses. Statistically having a degree in law at 24/25 means you are doing better than most of the population.
Its also pretty normal for most people to struggle during the beginning of their careers.

You also consider getting married young a success but for me is moronic. There is a reason why 50% of marriages end up in divorce. People marry without really knowing the other person and then when life gets hard and you have responsabilities you cant escape from the only option is divorce.

@whywhywhy

Relationships are symbolic of maturity and growing up just seeing people my age that I know getting married or moving in with their boyfriends its is like everyone is growing up except for me. It feels that way because it only seemed like yesterday I knew this person as someone I went to school with or used to be friends with.

It is a physical reminder of how I always the girl now woman who always got rejected and watched on the sidelines seeing everyone else have relationships. The worst thing is I was confident and a nice person as a teenager who was not afraid to express herself but still guys at school ignored me, builled me and didn't want to know me. All my experiences most people can't relate at all this is so isolating one of the main reasons why i can't cope anymore

-Nobody understands what feels like to be that girl who was rejected by the guys.

- Nobody understands how it feels like to be the girl who was seen as the school weird girl and have guys you have a crush on see you as the werid girl and want nothing to do with you. At 16 at school break everyday I talked to this boy and both had fun with each others company. I thought he was really amazing as person, he was smart, really funny and handsome,. I liked him because I thought he was different

People at school could see I liked him and of course gossiped like they did with other people's relationships. He went to the parties and was the fun guy everyone liked. One day the guy started to pushed me away during breaktimes whenever i talked I to him I couldn't understand why. It turned out he was like everyone else in the school who thought werid girl and he didn't want anything to do with me because of it. He humiliated me on front of the entire school and he didn't care about my feelings.

Most of all Nobody understands how it really feels to be that girl who makes the effort to know the guy, talk to him and have him always ignore you. It never goes right for me.

 

[Intelligent_Panic99]

I'm 39 and just dropped out of law school so I am definitely a loser if you are. But I will say, Firefox, others absolutely do understand those feelings. You are not alone. I for one am a lesbian and couldn't tell anyone (for various reasons) when I was younger so now I am 39 never having a relationship that makes me happy and is true to who I am. I was in an unfulfilling marriage for ten years and then he cheated on me. So was that worth it just to be married and thus "successful"? He was the person I trusted most In the world so I understand feeling left out and heartbroken. You say no one understands you but you would be surprised how many of these "successful" people you know are actually struggling too or will be in the future. I know these depression thoughts all too well. I'll be thinking of you. I know this is hard.

 

[FireFox]

I didn't even read your examples because they just don't matter. Look, friend, I've been where you're at with this shit. You got to just stop caring. Find some way. Your life isn't over because you don't have what other 25 year olds have. That's the point. I had to drop out of college when I was 19, I got on permanent disability the year after that, I live in a fucking camper trailer. And yeah, I'm suicidal and all the things, but at least I'm not following some societal master plan, neither are you, embrace that you're aware of being alive instead of being some zombie brained dickhole. :)

@its-about-time

I was someone who was so focused and had aspirations to do something meaningful with my life but I have failed to have my life together. This is what kills me everyday. Its the pure disappointment that kills me. I can not cope anymore.

 

[its-about-time]

@its-about-time

I was someone who was so focused and had aspirations to do something meaningful with my life but I have failed to have my life together. This is what kills me everyday. Its the pure disappointment that kills me. I can not cope anymore.

I feel you. Believe me. The same is true for my life. I wanted so much for myself and it feels like it was taken away from me. It's hard. There's no doubt about that. But continuing to wish for things you for whatever reason don't or can't have is not the way to approach it. I'm nobody and I'm sure you're set in your current mindset (aren't we all?) and I just hope you figure something out for yourself. I'm sending you lots of love.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

agreed.

 

[everhopeless]

I am not young to do anything anymore. I will be 26 years old when I apply for place for a masters degree that is so embrassing as most masters are in their early 20s or mid 20s. I am far behind in everything anything I do now is just shows how I failed to do things properly. I never going to find a man who loves me.

I am just a loser

All day I pretended to be happy on birthday and everyone believes it. My family even said " this is the first birthday you have been happy"

My birthday was the absolute worst day of my life. I only pretended to be happy because the last time I said I was depressed about birthday everyone dismissed me and nobody wanted to listen.

All my problems no one understands in the real world. It's too late to fix things. It's completely over for me. Everyone is doing better than me

I got my first master's degree when I was 30 and my second when I was 52. There were a lot of older students in both programs. That was one of the things I liked about grad school. Also IMO people get more out of graduate level education after they've been in the workforce for a period of time. In the human race, what kind of human being you are far outweighs your "accomplishments." Many people wouldn't agree, but that's because being a decent human being is tough work in this cold & lonely world, and many people don't want to get passed their own selfishness, or even acknowledge it.

I hurt a lot and fool a lot of people about it. I wish you peace and happiness.

 

[bpder]

A masters at any age is impressive! I know it's easy to compare however, I hope you can find peace in your achievements.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Feel you on that. 'Glory' is something very important to me. If I'm achieving something later than others, that's a very heavy emotional blow. I'm seeing people my age enjoying far more success than I am, and it gives me this horrible feeling of anguish, a very intolerable feeling. If I can't play at their pace I don't want to play at all. I don't want to be shown up, to be outdone like that.

 

[FireFox]

I'm 39 and just dropped out of law school so I am definitely a loser if you are. But I will say, Firefox, others absolutely do understand those feelings. You are not alone. I for one am a lesbian and couldn't tell anyone (for various reasons) when I was younger so now I am 39 never having a relationship that makes me happy and is true to who I am. I was in an unfulfilling marriage for ten years and then he cheated on me. So was that worth it just to be married and thus "successful"? He was the person I trusted most In the world so I understand feeling left out and heartbroken. You say no one understands you but you would be surprised how many of these "successful" people you know are actually struggling too or will be in the future. I know these depression thoughts all too well. I'll be thinking of you. I know this is hard.

@Intelligent_Panic99

Virtual hug and sending lots of love

Thank you so much for kind-hearted comments and being understanding. As I grow older I absoultely hate the fact I was the builled lonely unpopular girl sometimes it absolutely upsets me that I go through teenage years being that girl who was rejected, builled and a total outsider while other girls at school got to have love and affection from guys as well as friends in school. I fought back against the builles and got in to fights and detentions. I was naturally confident in talking to people, speaking school assemblies. I was inquisitive individual who asked questions in class and always contributed to class discussion but I still I was seen as werid girl who got builled and made fun of or ignored. I want to forget that girl ever existed but when I look in the mirror that is all I ever see. It drives me absolutely mad.

Being lesbian is not easy and to spend most of your never being to live freely as yourself is so sad. I hope you find peace, intelligent_panic99

I got my first master's degree when I was 30 and my second when I was 52. There were a lot of older students in both programs. That was one of the things I liked about grad school. Also IMO people get more out of graduate level education after they've been in the workforce for a period of time. In the human race, what kind of human being you are far outweighs your "accomplishments." Many people wouldn't agree, but that's because being a decent human being is tough work in this cold & lonely world, and many people don't want to get passed their own selfishness, or even acknowledge it.

I hurt a lot and fool a lot of people about it. I wish you peace and happiness.

@everhopeless

>There were a lot of older students in both programs. That was one of the things I liked about grad school.

Aww thank you this comment is very reassuring and helpful

I wish you peace and happiness too :)

 

[whywhywhy]

@whywhywhy

Relationships are symbolic of maturity and growing up just seeing people my age that I know getting married or moving in with their boyfriends its is like everyone is growing up except for me. It feels that way because it only seemed like yesterday I knew this person as someone I went to school with or used to be friends with.

It is a physical reminder of how I always the girl now woman who always got rejected and watched on the sidelines seeing everyone else have relationships. The worst thing is I was confident and a nice person as a teenager who was not afraid to express herself but still guys at school ignored me, builled me and didn't want to know me. All my experiences most people can't relate at all this is so isolating one of the main reasons why i can't cope anymore

-Nobody understands what feels like to be that girl who was rejected by the guys.

- Nobody understands how it feels like to be the girl who was seen as the school weird girl and have guys you have a crush on see you as the werid girl and want nothing to do with you. At 16 at school break everyday I talked to this boy and both had fun with each others company. I thought he was really amazing as person, he was smart, really funny and handsome,. I liked him because I thought he was different

People at school could see I liked him and of course gossiped like they did with other people's relationships. He went to the parties and was the fun guy everyone liked. One day the guy started to pushed me away during breaktimes whenever i talked I to him I couldn't understand why. It turned out he was like everyone else in the school who thought werid girl and he didn't want anything to do with me because of it. He humiliated me on front of the entire school and he didn't care about my feelings.

I can symphatize more with that reason you just gave. I still believe you can have relationships early but marrying that young to me feels rushed and dumb. Specially because people at that age have to overely on their parents economically and there is literally no rush to do it. Also everyone and every family have the dirty laundry they dont talk about. I know plenty of people that put more effort pretending to be happy in social media than actually being happy.

Regarding relationships Im kind of in the same boat as you tbh, maybe a bit worse even if you consider I barely have friends and none of them normal, I think though its more normal for guys to be in this position so I can see why its worse for girls. It would be also be pretty hypocrite of me telling you to not lose hope and that your life will become better and that you will eventually find someone because I kinda lost hope and gave up trying. The only things I can really tell you is that if you dont try you will never get out of this hellhole and that people change a lot in their late 30s regarding interests. I believe people become more attracted to personality than to looks the older you get and that you shouldnt let past failures get in the way.

Most of all Nobody understands how it really feels to be that girl who makes the effort to know the guy, talk to him and have him always ignore you. It never goes right for me.

Tbh a lot of girls go through life expecting guys to approach them which imo says more about them than of you. I think its pretty cool you are brave enough to talk to a guy and to even be honest enough to be rejected. Specially because I cant do that.