Venting My life from the beginning was very boring and bland (probably)

[Sat]

Since I was a child, from nursery until senior high, I had no friends. All I got into were fights or smth. No wonder I feel lonely. Idk if that's enough to say I want to ctb but life's so bland, boring, and sometimes painful. They say life is fun but I have yet to experience it. Maybe I don't want a gf or to be loved, I just want to feel like it's worth living life, but right now, I wish I would just die while asleep. Because it's so mid I'd like to leave the theater early. What's make me more mad is that my positive advices helped some other people but when applying those to myself, nothing good happens.

 

[IBM0000]

I say I had no friends, but that's probably because I wanted to be friendless. At the very least, I had people I would consider good people to talk to in high school. Not in middle school or earlier, I don't remember anything about that except that it sucked and that I had a bully that would slightly tease me who now isn't that bad after middle school lol.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Sometimes I think pot is the main thing (besides my hobbies) that keeps me going regardless of being alone all the time. :/