My latest diagnosis

[PI3.14]

I was first diagnosed with severe depression with anxiety distress in late 2020. This came about 2.5 years after I experienced my first serve depression episode.

2 weeks ago my psychiatrist changed my diagnosis into treatment resistance depression. This came after we tried every single antidepressant in the categories SSRIs and SNRIs, as well as mood stabilizers and ADHD meds. You guys won't believe the number of meds boxes I had in my room.

The thing is, I didn't react at all when he told me that. I guess I'm too numb to care that my condition is untreatable.

I don't know how and if I'll continue to live. I feel like I'm already dead and yet my dead body is still being dragged among the living and I'm growing tired of it. I feel as if I ran out of energy. My parents are trying everything they could to keep me alive but my chest is heavy, my heart aches, my head hurts most of the day, nightmares won't stop haunting me, my mind refuses to keep going and my body feels anchored to the ground.

The more I live the more severe my depression gets and I have no solution. It hurts, it hurts so bad that I cry myself to sleep every night. I want this to stop. I haven't been normal for 8 years. I'm too weak to be able to deal with this. No human should go through this. It's a painful and lonely experience that I won't wish upon anyone.

 

[BrokenMindAndBody]

I was first diagnosed with severe depression with anxiety distress in late 2020. This came about 2.5 years after I experienced my first serve depression episode.

2 weeks ago my psychiatrist changed my diagnosis into treatment resistance depression. This came after we tried every single antidepressant in the categories SSRIs and SNRIs, as well as mood stabilizers and ADHD meds. You guys won't believe the number of meds boxes I had in my room.

The thing is, I didn't react at all when he told me that. I guess I'm too numb to care that my condition is untreatable.

I don't know how and if I'll continue to live. I feel like I'm already dead and yet my dead body is still being dragged among the living and I'm growing tired of it. I feel as if I ran out of energy. My parents are trying everything they could to keep me alive but my chest is heavy, my heart aches, my head hurts most of the day, nightmares won't stop haunting me, my mind refuses to keep going and my body feels anchored to the ground.

The more I live the more severe my depression gets and I have no solution. It hurts, it hurts so bad that I cry myself to sleep every night. I want this to stop. I haven't been normal for 8 years. I'm too weak to be able to deal with this. No human should go through this. It's a painful and lonely experience that I won't wish upon anyone.

Same thing with me. Except I haven't been normal for over 20 years. It sucks. I've tried many things. Including destructive things. I've survived suicide attempts twice and I'm still here and it sucks. It has destroyed my life. I have become un-personed. Not only has it destroyed my physical health but it also destroyed all my personal relationships. I am already dead but still forced to exist in this body.

 

[TheEmptyVoid]

I was first diagnosed with severe depression with anxiety distress in late 2020. This came about 2.5 years after I experienced my first serve depression episode.

2 weeks ago my psychiatrist changed my diagnosis into treatment resistance depression. This came after we tried every single antidepressant in the categories SSRIs and SNRIs, as well as mood stabilizers and ADHD meds. You guys won't believe the number of meds boxes I had in my room.

The thing is, I didn't react at all when he told me that. I guess I'm too numb to care that my condition is untreatable.

I don't know how and if I'll continue to live. I feel like I'm already dead and yet my dead body is still being dragged among the living and I'm growing tired of it. I feel as if I ran out of energy. My parents are trying everything they could to keep me alive but my chest is heavy, my heart aches, my head hurts most of the day, nightmares won't stop haunting me, my mind refuses to keep going and my body feels anchored to the ground.

The more I live the more severe my depression gets and I have no solution. It hurts, it hurts so bad that I cry myself to sleep every night. I want this to stop. I haven't been normal for 8 years. I'm too weak to be able to deal with this. No human should go through this. It's a painful and lonely experience that I won't wish upon anyone.

The same thing is actually happening to me, and it pisses me off how it's actually so hard for me to CTB when I want it painless and highly fatal.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I am the same as you with severe treatment resistant depression. I've tried all the meds, ECT and Ketamine. It's the most horrific existence. I am mostly bedridden by it. I cry every day too. I have people trying to keep me alive too but I can't go on much longer. I am in hell right beside you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's so cruel to me how there's all this pain and suffering in this torturous existence, I wish you the best, I really understand feeling so tired of it all.

 

[ChrisFromEarth]

yup, same shitty life. done everything, last resort psylocibin. have a thread about it in here. currently in very bad spot. have sn, in limbo between life and death. fml