Venting My internal and external struggles

[ultrasharpy123456]

I feel like a genie trapped in a bottle for a million years as punishment by the gods for my sacrilege and disobedience. I feel light headed sometimes, I sometimes feel this head pain, my tooth hurts and I need to go the dentist, I don't have a job, sometimes I have bouts of internal rage and must handle that, I can't even die. I sometimes have no control of my actions and have like only 1 friend but we don't talk much.

And every waking moment I'm fighting my urge to kill myself and fighting to survive through the day. I feel like I'm trapped in this existence and I cannot get out. I want to get out but I'm stuck here. Everytime I try some kind of online job or business or whatever it always fails. Ok cool. Then let me drink my SN. Nope can't do that. First there's nausea, then there's headaches, then there's through burn, then there's pain, then I have to wait to have enough time to drink my SN and I also have to drink it on an empty stomach. Then the medicine that I need to take with SN that I don't even have.

I cannot get out. I need to get out. But I can't and I'm forced to survive for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine living like this for the rest of my life. I can't imagine struggle literally every waking moment with nausea and existential crisis and internal struggles. It literally feels like a battle in my head every waking moment.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really dreadful and tiring feeling trapped in that situation, existence really is too cruel, I find it so horrible how there isn't the option to just instantly leave this world in peace. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Csmith8827]

I feel like I'm trapped in this existence and I cannot get out. I want to get out but I'm stuck here

I know how you feel... I'm dealing with the same type of thing... I'm trying to find a way out though...

 

[AntHills]

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. Feeling stuck in a body and a life that you can't be happy with is shitty beyond words. I really hope your situation gets better.

 

[venin]

I feel like a genie trapped in a bottle for a million years as punishment by the gods for my sacrilege and disobedience. I feel light headed sometimes, I sometimes feel this head pain, my tooth hurts and I need to go the dentist, I don't have a job, sometimes I have bouts of internal rage and must handle that, I can't even die. I sometimes have no control of my actions and have like only 1 friend but we don't talk much.

And every waking moment I'm fighting my urge to kill myself and fighting to survive through the day. I feel like I'm trapped in this existence and I cannot get out. I want to get out but I'm stuck here. Everytime I try some kind of online job or business or whatever it always fails. Ok cool. Then let me drink my SN. Nope can't do that. First there's nausea, then there's headaches, then there's through burn, then there's pain, then I have to wait to have enough time to drink my SN and I also have to drink it on an empty stomach. Then the medicine that I need to take with SN that I don't even have.

I cannot get out. I need to get out. But I can't and I'm forced to survive for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine living like this for the rest of my life. I can't imagine struggle literally every waking moment with nausea and existential crisis and internal struggles. It literally feels like a battle in my head every waking moment.

Being caught in the life trap is awful. I hope you manage to find your peace, whatever you choose to do