mmj
Giles Corey - No One Is Ever Going To Want Me
- Sep 15, 2023
- 12
She had a suicide pact with one of her good friends but didn't go through with it. She said she "tried". I don't push her to talk about it since it's obviously a touchy subject, but I feel so unimportant to her now. The fact that she tried to kill herself over another person just really gets me. I told her I would kill myself if she killed herself, but the fact she wouldn't do the same for me really makes me feel like shit, and the fact she didn't go through with the other one makes me feel even worse. If she agreed to have a suicide pact with me, she wouldn't even go through with it.
When we were talking about it, I told her, "I really am not special, am I?" She got really angry at me, which is understandable, but I am really not. I am not her first for anything; she has had multiple relationships before, literally even a suicide pact before me, and I am just... temporary. All of those other things were temporary. She does not want to have a suicide pact with me. I am telling her that I am devoting my life to her, and she just does not give a shit. I tell her I love her and that she's my world, and all she can muster is a "tee hee". No, I am not joking; that is what she types. I feel so worthless to her, and I can't bring it up without it being my fault all the fucking time.
I don't know where else to post this; people think I'm an asshole when I bring this up for not being happy with her for not going through with it, but you all get what I mean and think right
Excuse my poor grammar by the way, I'm not super smart either
When we were talking about it, I told her, "I really am not special, am I?" She got really angry at me, which is understandable, but I am really not. I am not her first for anything; she has had multiple relationships before, literally even a suicide pact before me, and I am just... temporary. All of those other things were temporary. She does not want to have a suicide pact with me. I am telling her that I am devoting my life to her, and she just does not give a shit. I tell her I love her and that she's my world, and all she can muster is a "tee hee". No, I am not joking; that is what she types. I feel so worthless to her, and I can't bring it up without it being my fault all the fucking time.
I don't know where else to post this; people think I'm an asshole when I bring this up for not being happy with her for not going through with it, but you all get what I mean and think right
Excuse my poor grammar by the way, I'm not super smart either