depressedginger

depressedginger

i exist without my consent
Oct 13, 2023
16
Hey everyone, going into this post i guess i just wanted to share why i came to this site, and ask a few questions as well.

I actually learned about this site more recently in late 2023 from Tentacruel's video. It kind of felt unreal when I learned about it and i was so excited to come on here and read every single post. I (20F) have been wanting to ctb for probably 5 years now. I SH in the past and was hospitalized in psyche at one point for 72 hours. around 2 or 3 years ago was my first attempt and the fact that it was unsuccessful was so embarrassing. I guess i wasnt driving fast enough. Not many close ones realized it was an attempt. I've been researching now, looking for more a more definitive way to ctb. I dont want to risk becoming a vegetable, or end up hospitalized again. My husband knows how much i want to ctb, but says he won't help me do it. we own a hunting rifle but It's pretty long and i dont think it would be 100% effective. We own a gun safe but kind of just keep the key in it. In the past he had hid the key from me but after we moved it's just been in the lock. Part of me still thinks about going in my bathtub and just kurt kobaining that shit with my toe or something when my husband isnt home. Can anyone on here tell me if that would work? it shoots .308

I'm planning on buying a glock or something when i turn 21, i think that'd be a pretty easy way out idk, but that's not till march of 2024. I'm also in so much debt right now and can barely afford to get groceries so i think I'd have to get another credit card just to buy the gun (and thats if i can even buy one?) i feel like i can't make it that long. I think about doing it with someone else too, i think it'd be nice to have a partner to leave with.

sorry this kind of became a long post, but i appreciate this community and this site so much. and if any of you could help me ctb i could do a lot for you in return.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,144
Welcome to Sasu šŸ¤—
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,938
I wish you the best, I find it so dreadful how it's not more straightforward to leave this existence, a suicide attempt going wrong is also what I'd fear.
 
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