My Final 72 Hours [Maybe]

[$yck]

Good Evening everyone,

On here I'm $yck, but you can call me Clifford
I am making this post to start the countdown of what may be my last 72 hours. I will update every once and a while until the attempt.

All I ever wanted was to be treated and spoken to like a normal human being, but apparently that was too much to ask lol.
So if you don't mind, ask me anything. Music, death, food, sports. Anything, [except my card info or shit like that lmao] or just talk to me. It'd mean a lot.

Thank You
Clifford

November 7th, 2025

04:00
Good Morning Everyone,

Thank you for all the kind messages and questions so far, I appreciate each and every one of them; Please keep asking. I'm at work right now, but I'll respond once I'm home. :]

 

[TheHolySword]

I hope you find your peace

 

[socksnsandles]

i wish you well on your journey

 

[At The Bus Stop]

Hey $yck/Clifford,

Lovely to meet you. On here, I go by At The Bus Stop, but you're welcome to call me Karl - a name associated with me but not my government name. Purely for anonymity and safety of myself if/when I choose to CTB.

I hope your next 72 hours are filled with things you love, if you decide that your time has come. I'd love to know what you enjoy doing, things that add a smile on your face even in times like now, where it's difficult to open ones eyes.

I'm a big fan of food, as most people are, but not necessarily the quantity aspect of it that people usually attribute to the idea of "liking food" - I enjoy cooking and learning how to make things, or even trying to perfect simple recipes. Adding random items that sound like they compliment a dish only to find out it's horrible but hey.. it's all a lesson. I once tried making homemade spaghetti, without a spaghetti cutter - it was like long gnocchi.. not the greatest but fun.

I've never really been into sports - but if I had to pick something I know the most about, it's probably football (soccer if you're that side of the water). Do you have a favourite team, do you play? I used to be stuck in defence, usually left/right back as I was a fast runner but didn't really have any technical ability .

I empathise with sometimes just wanting to feel like a human, and just being able to sit down and talk to someone without judgement. Having someone create a space for you to just listen and hold whatever emotion you have and be able to reciprocate those emotions through supportive conversations. I hope you're able to get that from either conversations on SaSu or making that unlikely friend.

Take care

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Hi Clifford, nice to meet you.

From your previous post, I noted that you have everything well planned. How are you feeling at the moment, and are you planning anything special in these last days?

I'm sorry you have not been treated well in this life. I wish you only the best, whatever may happen, and send a hug your way.

 

[woodlandcreature]

Hey Clifford :-)
You've been on my mind lately! I'm wondering who/ what your favorite music artists are? Do you have a favorite food? (ik ik starting out very strong haha!)
Do you/ have you ever played any instruments?
Have you ever been into any kind of visual art? If so, would you like to share examples you appreciate?
A previous commenter spoke about sports! I am quite interested in if you have any preferences as well. I've dabbled, but never been a huge sports fan like many where I'm from. Before my chronic illnesses took over I used to play soccer and tennis though! When I played tennis, I always preferred doubles to singles. Singles always felt so bleh lolz. The camaraderie aspect was nice I guess - though I've never been very social or talkative haha
I hope these next few days are filled with some favorites of yours <3 looking forward to hearing from you!

 

[Jan1193]

Hello, Clifford, and nice to meet you. I would like to give you a hug. What's your favorite comedy movie? Mine it's white chicks, hahaha.
And what kind of music do you like? I used to think that you can know a very lot about a person in base of their favorite music, movies, books and other fictions.

Aniway, I hope you find peace not only the time after you finally CBT, bit since now. It's really hard to fight agains the pure instinct of keep breathing.

 

[darksouls]

hi Clifford,
thank you for sharing your thoughts and being a member in this community,
what is your favorite animal? I love all animals but I am more like a dog and I lived together with my female dog for about 15 years,
I am sending you much love and a warm hug
sorry for my bad english, the google translation is shit

 

[madwoman]

Hi Clifford - sending love. Is there any food or drinks you especially want to consume in these next few days?

 

[DeadInsideUnicorn]

Hey Clifford, nice to meet you! What is your favorite music you want to listen these days?

 

[Irisse]

Hi Clifford!
I'm sorry that it has come to this, but also glad that your suffering will end.

Do you have any pets? Are you a cat person or a dog person? I personally prefer cats.

I also wonder if you like art (any form of creativity counts). I like drawing, knitting and crocheting the most.

Personally I'm really unfit for sports but I do like swimming. What is your favourite sport to play? Which ones do you like watching? Any clubs/teams you cheer for?

I think my favourite snack might be peanuts covered in dough which is seasoned with pepper. Is there a favourite meal you want to consume once more before the end?

I hope that you find peace and that it goes as peacefully and painlessly as possible.

 

[happy2die]

Hey Clifford! Any fun plans before you ctb?

 

[Alexandra_]

I hope you find what you're looking for, Clifford

 

[NutOrat]

Hey, Cliff. I think you're really brave, and I wish you don't have to suffer any more. If you do follow through, may these last hours be peaceful and devoid of sorrow. And if you don't, then may the rest of your life be that way from now on

Do you play video games? If so, which ones are your faves? Anyway, If you wanna chat about whatever, I'm here.

 

[$yck]

11:45

Back from Work :]

I hope you find your peace

Thank you, I hope you do as well. :]

i wish you well on your journey

Thank you, you too :]

 

[Flubber]

@$yck It's good to see you back, man - in the sense that you're still around

 

[Macedonian1987]

If these are you last 72 hours Clifford I wish you safe travels and may you be finally free from whatever tormented you and made you ctb.

 

[$yck]

Hey $yck/Clifford,

Lovely to meet you. On here, I go by At The Bus Stop, but you're welcome to call me Karl - a name associated with me but not my government name. Purely for anonymity and safety of myself if/when I choose to CTB.

I hope your next 72 hours are filled with things you love, if you decide that your time has come. I'd love to know what you enjoy doing, things that add a smile on your face even in times like now, where it's difficult to open ones eyes.

I'm a big fan of food, as most people are, but not necessarily the quantity aspect of it that people usually attribute to the idea of "liking food" - I enjoy cooking and learning how to make things, or even trying to perfect simple recipes. Adding random items that sound like they compliment a dish only to find out it's horrible but hey.. it's all a lesson. I once tried making homemade spaghetti, without a spaghetti cutter - it was like long gnocchi.. not the greatest but fun.

I've never really been into sports - but if I had to pick something I know the most about, it's probably football (soccer if you're that side of the water). Do you have a favourite team, do you play? I used to be stuck in defence, usually left/right back as I was a fast runner but didn't really have any technical ability .

I empathise with sometimes just wanting to feel like a human, and just being able to sit down and talk to someone without judgement. Having someone create a space for you to just listen and hold whatever emotion you have and be able to reciprocate those emotions through supportive conversations. I hope you're able to get that from either conversations on SaSu or making that unlikely friend.

Take care

Hey Karl/At The Bus Stop,

It's a pleasure to meet you too. I understand the anonymity, Clifford is an alias of mine.

As for things that bring a smile to my face, Music. It is the only thing that's stuck with me through everything. I love music because it's infinite and it transcends all boundaries. Personally, music is in my DNA [somehow, idk how but I swear to god it is] At the moment, it's also the only thing that really makes me happy. I actually lost my earbuds in the washing machine like 2 weeks ago, and going to work without them felt like dragging my balls through broken glass. Listening to new music, old music, music in other languages, music from different cultures, unreleased music, all of it is amazing. I wish I could list a million things that made me happy, but if I did they'd probably just be songs. What puts a smile on your face during difficult times?

I'm a big fan of food too, cooking is extremely fun and rewarding [even if it does take 3 hours to make one full meal lol] Homemade Spaghetti sound delicious, even if it did turn out like long gnocchi [which I've never had but the way you talk about it makes me want to try it]. Something about making food is so fulfilling, for the mind, for the soul, for the stomach. One time for breakfast, I made buttermilk pancakes and home-fries [breakfast potatoes] from scratch and it was good as fuck. What's your favorite thing to cook or bake?

Yeah, I'm on the West Side of the Pond. I've never really been into football/soccer, partly because I could never do it myself [the leg eye coordination on those pros is insane, sometimes I can barely walk straight]. I am really into Rugby tho, great sport, all the guys are beasts. I got to practice/play some Rugby earlier this year and it was the some of the coolest shit I've ever done. My favorite teams are the Chicago Hounds [USA] and the DHL Stormers [RSA], and my favorite players are Joseph Dweba [DHL] and Antoine Supont [FRA]. What was your favorite part about playing football/soccer?

Thank you for your empathy and your kindness, it's sad that those things seem rare now.

You take care as well :]

Hi Clifford, nice to meet you.

From your previous post, I noted that you have everything well planned. How are you feeling at the moment, and are you planning anything special in these last days?

I'm sorry you have not been treated well in this life. I wish you only the best, whatever may happen, and send a hug your way.

Hi FadingSnowFlake, nice to meet you too.

Thank you :] At the moment, I feel weird. Not happy, but not sad either. Seeing as I've planned in the event of life, death, and brain damage, everything feels like it's happening around me, not to me. I'm confident that no matter what happens to me, this is something new. I feel like I may die both literally and figuratively, in every instance.
How are you feelings at the moment?

In terms of anything special, I'm going to visit my Dad's grave today, tomorrow, and Sunday. Talk to him, even if he only responds in the wind. Let him know his son is coming home.
Other than that I'll probably get high as fuck and stare at a wall or sumn lol.

I wish you the best as well, no matter what. I'm sending a hug your way too

Thanks again :]

 

[$yck]

Hey Clifford :-)
You've been on my mind lately! I'm wondering who/ what your favorite music artists are? Do you have a favorite food? (ik ik starting out very strong haha!)
Do you/ have you ever played any instruments?
Have you ever been into any kind of visual art? If so, would you like to share examples you appreciate?
A previous commenter spoke about sports! I am quite interested in if you have any preferences as well. I've dabbled, but never been a huge sports fan like many where I'm from. Before my chronic illnesses took over I used to play soccer and tennis though! When I played tennis, I always preferred doubles to singles. Singles always felt so bleh lolz. The camaraderie aspect was nice I guess - though I've never been very social or talkative haha
I hope these next few days are filled with some favorites of yours <3 looking forward to hearing from you!

Hey woodlandcreature :-]

Thank you for keeping me in mind, I really appreciate it.

My Favorite Artists [in no particular order]: Frank Ocean, Mac Miller, Brandy, SZA, Elton John, Jimi Hendrix, JMSN, Wu-Tang Clan, De La Soul, King Krule/Archy Marshall, Puma Blue, MIKE, Dijon, Earl Sweatshirt, ScHoolbooy Q, SWV, Prince, Fleshwater, & Tirzah
What are your favorite artists?

My favorite food hands down are Cinnamon Rolls. I fucking love Cinnabon. What's your favorite food?

I used to play Piano and Drums. My Dad [who was a very talented pianist] started teaching me around age 2, he would put my lil baby hands on his hands and play on his grand piano and as I got older he would start to actually teach me the keys and stuff. Hedied when I was 7. I played until I was 14, I only stopped because taking lessons took the fun out of it.
I picked up drums on my own, played for about a year or two, but couldn't get into them as much because I didn't have a full set at home.
Have you played any instruments? If so, do you have a favorite song or instrument to play?

I love visual arts! I used to draw and paint and shit. I actually threw out a couple of my sketchbooks from middle school while deep cleaning my room to CTB [they were cringy tho, so good riddance]. Now I edit videos, mainly while I'm high. But, paintings, drawings, multimedia arts, all of it is so cool.

As for some examples:

Paintings/ Drawings

• Northern Lights - Bob Ross
• Cryptic Cats - Louis Wain
• The Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dali

[There's def more but I'm blanking rn]

Animation/Claymation/Video

• Euphoria - Vince Collins [Epilepsy Warning]
• Where the Wild Things Are [Scholastic Book Animation]
• Thru The Mirror - Mickey Mouse
• GODSPEED - Davonte Jolly
• Fantastic Mr. Fox & Isle of Dogs - Wes Anderson

Sculptures/ Installments

• Homeless Jesus Sculpture - Timothy Schmalz
• Indestructible Object (or Object to Be Destroyed) by Man Ray
• Knife Angel [National Monument Against Violence & Aggression] - Alfred Bradley
• Karaoke Torii - Benoît Maubrey
  
  [There's much more but here are some of my favorites]
  
  I love sports. Men's, Women's, College, shit I'll watch the Little League World Series when it's on. My favorite sports to watch are: Lacrosse [I like college better, but pro is good too. I wish they let the girls play by the same rules the guys do.], MMA, Boxing, Hockey, American Football, Rugby, & Skateboarding. Tennis and Soccer are great sports, I may not watch them but I know they take a lot of skill. I'm sorry that the illness took that from you :[ What's your favorite part about Tennis & Soccer?
  Once again thank you for being so nice to me. From the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate you. Thank you :]
  
  

 

[kajal]

i wish you find some peace

 

[$yck]

Hello, Clifford, and nice to meet you. I would like to give you a hug. What's your favorite comedy movie? Mine it's white chicks, hahaha.
And what kind of music do you like? I used to think that you can know a very lot about a person in base of their favorite music, movies, books and other fictions.

Aniway, I hope you find peace not only the time after you finally CBT, bit since now. It's really hard to fight agains the pure instinct of keep breathing.

Hello Jan1193, it's nice to meet you as well. Thank you for the hugs, I really appreciate it. My favorite comedy movie is either Cat In The Hat [2003] or the Scary Movie Series. I feel like those are generic picks, but I haven't watched a ton of Comedy Movies. I've actually never seen White Chicks, I've only seen clips or heard sound bites. I'll watch it when I'm high tonight and let you know how bad I'm laughing my ass off. Do you have any other movies you like that you think I should watch?

In terms of music, I try to listen to a little bit of everything. However, Jazz, R&B, and Rap/Hip-Hop are my most listened to. Here's my Spotify if you wanna check that out lmao: https://open.spotify.com/user/zual3ng8re6ynio0g2dcncmid?si=9bf81d77d54345ed

What kind of music do you like?

Thanks again :]

hi Clifford,
thank you for sharing your thoughts and being a member in this community,
what is your favorite animal? I love all animals but I am more like a dog and I lived together with my female dog for about 15 years,
I am sending you much love and a warm hug
sorry for my bad english, the google translation is shit

Hi darksouls,
Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and being apart of this community with me.
My favorite animal is probably a Polar Bear or a Mongoose. I love animals too, especially dogs. My old dog [A 110lb German Rottweiler] was amazing, he was so smart and very caring. My current dogs [Two chunky German Shepherds] are playful and goofy as hell. I'm sure your dog is amazing, What's her name if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you for the love and the warm hugs [No worries on the English, I'm a native speaker and I can barely form a sentence sometimes lol]

Thanks again :]

Hi Clifford - sending love. Is there any food or drinks you especially want to consume in these next few days?

Hi madwoman - Thank you for the love, I really appreciate it :]

My last meal is going to consist of:

• Filet Mignon with a side of fries
• A small deep dish pizza
• Texas Roadhouse Rolls
• Some Cinnabons
• An Arizona Chillzicle
• Towne Club
• Airheads Sourfuls

Some of my favorite foods and drinks

What are some of your favorite foods and or drinks?

Thank you :]

Hey Clifford, nice to meet you! What is your favorite music you want to listen these days?

Hey DeadInsideUnicorn, nice to meet you too! While I was clearing off my computer, I went through all my liked songs in chronological order. It was really nostalgic to see the songs and the dates associated with them. For potentially my last monthly rotation I compiled some old and new songs and put them into a playlist: What is your favorite music you want to listen to these days?

Hi Clifford!
I'm sorry that it has come to this, but also glad that your suffering will end.

Do you have any pets? Are you a cat person or a dog person? I personally prefer cats.

I also wonder if you like art (any form of creativity counts). I like drawing, knitting and crocheting the most.

Personally I'm really unfit for sports but I do like swimming. What is your favourite sport to play? Which ones do you like watching? Any clubs/teams you cheer for?

I think my favourite snack might be peanuts covered in dough which is seasoned with pepper. Is there a favourite meal you want to consume once more before the end?

I hope that you find peace and that it goes as peacefully and painlessly as possible.

Hi Irisse!
Thank you :]

I have 2 German Shepherds, they're goofy. I've always been around dogs because my mom is allergic to cats, but I told myself if I got a chance to move out I'd get a cat and see what it's like. I'm sure they're great, they seem so cute. Do you have any cats of your own?

I love art, right now my favorite medium is digital editing. I make some of my own edits every once and a while. What do you knit/crochet? I've always wanted to try either, making sweaters or blankets sounds great!

Swimming is so nice, being in the water is very peaceful in my opinion. My favorite sport to play is lacrosse, it's like 4 sports in one. I like watching Lacrosse, MMA, Boxing, Hockey, American Football, Rugby, & Skateboarding. I like Penn State for College Lacrosse, the Red Wings or the Maple Leafs for Hockey, and the Lions for American Football. Do you prefer swimming in a pool or in something like a lake or the ocean?

Peanuts covered in dough, seasoned with pepper? That sounds delicious. I might have to add that to the list of things I'm having for my last meal, it sounds great.
My last meal is going to consist of:

• Filet Mignon with a side of fries
• A small deep dish pizza
• Texas Roadhouse Rolls
• Some Cinnabons
• An Arizona Chillzicle
• Towne Club
• Airheads Sourfuls

Some of my favorite foods and drinks

I hope you find peace as well, no matter what. Thanks again :]

 

[darksouls]

Hello Jan1193, it's nice to meet you as well. Thank you for the hugs, I really appreciate it. My favorite comedy movie is either Cat In The Hat [2003] or the Scary Movie Series. I feel like those are generic picks, but I haven't watched a ton of Comedy Movies. I've actually never seen White Chicks, I've only seen clips or heard sound bites. I'll watch it when I'm high tonight and let you know how bad I'm laughing my ass off. Do you have any other movies you like that you think I should watch?

In terms of music, I try to listen to a little bit of everything. However, Jazz, R&B, and Rap/Hip-Hop are my most listened to. Here's my Spotify if you wanna check that out lmao: https://open.spotify.com/user/zual3ng8re6ynio0g2dcncmid?si=9bf81d77d54345ed

What kind of music do you like?

Thanks again :]

Hi darksouls,
Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and being apart of this community with me.
My favorite animal is probably a Polar Bear or a Mongoose. I love animals too, especially dogs. My old dog [A 110lb German Rottweiler] was amazing, he was so smart and very caring. My current dogs [Two chunky German Shepherds] are playful and goofy as hell. I'm sure your dog is amazing, What's her name if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you for the love and the warm hugs [No worries on the English, I'm a native speaker and I can barely form a sentence sometimes lol]

Thanks again :]

Hi madwoman - Thank you for the love, I really appreciate it :]

My last meal is going to consist of:

• Filet Mignon with a side of fries
• A small deep dish pizza
• Texas Roadhouse Rolls
• Some Cinnabons
• An Arizona Chillzicle
• Towne Club
• Airheads Sourfuls

Some of my favorite foods and drinks

Thank you :]

Hey DeadInsideUnicorn, nice to meet you too! While I was clearing off my computer, I went through all my liked songs in chronological order. It was really nostalgic to see the songs and the dates associated with them. For potentially my last monthly rotation I compiled some old and new songs and put them into a playlist:

my dogs name was Jacqueline, she was a small black mixed-breed dog, she was my best friend for about 15 years, sadly she left me in 2020, I miss her so much
why do you prefer German dog breeds?

 

[$yck]

Hey Clifford! Any fun plans before you ctb?

Hey happy2die! I don't know if these are considered fun, but I'm going to visit my Dad's grave, take my dogs on a short road trip, and get high. It ain't much, but it's enough.

Thank you :]

I hope you find what you're looking for, Clifford

Thank you, Alexandra_ :]

Hey, Cliff. I think you're really brave, and I wish you don't have to suffer any more. If you do follow through, may these last hours be peaceful and devoid of sorrow. And if you don't, then may the rest of your life be that way from now on

Do you play video games? If so, which ones are your faves? Anyway, If you wanna chat about whatever, I'm here.

Hey NutOrat. Thank you, I hope you find peace as well, no matter how that may be. I wish the same for you and your life as well :].

I don't play video games anymore, but when I did my favorites were Call of Duty Black Ops 3 [I got to Prestige 1 before my disk decided it didn't want to work anymore lol], Halo 5 Guardians [Husky Raid is the shit, I love that game so fucking much], Rainbow Six Siege [I was ass], Madden [I was ass], and Minecraft [I've had this game for so fucking long and I still haven't beat the Ender Dragon].

Thanks again, I really appreciate it :]

@$yck It's good to see you back, man - in the sense that you're still around

@Flubber Thank you man, I appreciate it :]

If these are you last 72 hours Clifford I wish you safe travels and may you be finally free from whatever tormented you and made you ctb.

Thank you Macedonian1987, I wish you safe travels and peace no matter what. Thanks again :]

i wish you find some peace

Thank you kajal :]

my dogs name was Jacqueline, she was a small black mixed-breed dog, she was my best friend for about 15 years, sadly she left me in 2020, I miss her so much
why do you prefer German dog breeds?

Jacqueline is such a beautiful name. I know what it's like to lose your best friend. I'm sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace.

I'm not sure why, maybe it's coincidence or sumn
Again, thank you all for the kind words and replies. I appreciate all of you. I'll be back later to talk more, answer more questions, etc. :]

 

[happy2die]

Hey happy2die! I don't know if these are considered fun, but I'm going to visit my Dad's grave, take my dogs on a short road trip, and get high. It ain't much, but it's enough.

That's great! I wish you the most peaceful and painless process