As I was planning for ctb, I got the sn, it's literally in front of me, I see it everyday when i wake up and go to sleep, I do feel that life has more to offer, honestly except the fact i don't have a job, if i keep it aside, im feeling a bit happy, finally got someone I see myself with, that i can be happy, but other situation my family and all other aspect of life feels doomed, mostly three fact I'm getting married, well it's arrange marriage, for i feel like i don't have the mental energy to handle people, situation, i need some alone time with someone i really like and appropriate, and someone i feel love and connection with. I don't want to be in the crowd.
The moment i think of that i have to sit with a bunch of people and have to talk, understand and I have to make them happy, i feel sick, i just want to run away. Make a simple living, i want to learn how to play guitar, my art, and 1 person who loves me. That will be a happy life for me, there is nothing more i desire. But no that's not gonna happen. I have to give up on my life just to avoid facing people. Because I don't want to keep people entertained.... And now i just want to let go...
The moment i think of that i have to sit with a bunch of people and have to talk, understand and I have to make them happy, i feel sick, i just want to run away. Make a simple living, i want to learn how to play guitar, my art, and 1 person who loves me. That will be a happy life for me, there is nothing more i desire. But no that's not gonna happen. I have to give up on my life just to avoid facing people. Because I don't want to keep people entertained.... And now i just want to let go...
