CentreMid

CentreMid

Sorry
Aug 23, 2018
478
Before I continue, I'm a girl, and my pronouns are she/her. I'm bi with a preference for other non-men.

And now, onto the post!

So I recently met another girl who, I will admit, I think is very cute (met her through a mutual friend). We're nothing alike, but I think that's part of what I like about her so much (y'know the saying, "opposites attract" and all that haha). She's very refined, classy, stable and secure, and she seems like the type of person who knows exactly what she wants. We seem to get along very well, and I think, if I ever choose to live long enough again, we could probably hit it off as partners.

All of that being said, I have a few concerns about her, one of which can be easily remedied. I don't know her stance on suicide, and I think this is a big factor in whether or not I want to fully pursue her. I suspect she'll be pro-life (which wouldn't be surprising tbh), however I'm trying to remain optimistic that she'll at least be supportive. I won't tell her about my personal suicidal ideation since I don't want to scare her off, but I still think knowing what she thinks is important. I'll have to ask her at some point, but finding a time will be difficult. Nonetheless, this is the easiest problem to solve.

My second concern is that she comes from a very wealthy family. Her parents have paid for essentially everything about her, and they continue to do so to this day (we're both in our early 20's, mind you). I'm afraid our lifestyles would clash, since I'm scraping together every dollar and cent I can find while she doesn't really have to think about things like a budget. I feel like, if this girl and I were to hit it off, she'd have to lower her expectations a LOT, which is something I don't want to put her through. That, or she'd pay for my, well, everything for us to be more compatible which is something I also don't want to do because I'd feel guilty for not being able to pay her back for whatever she may do for me. I'd essentially be a charity case, which doesn't sit right with me.

I know that the things I've mentioned aren't the only factors in a solid relationship (communication is key!), but they're still important, and I'm just hoping she and I will be able to come up with some solutions to make whatever we have flourish, regardless of whether or not we grow into something more romantic or remain platonic. I really like her, and it'd be a shame to miss out on someone like her!

Anywho, to anyone still reading, thank you for sticking with me. I really appreciate it. Take care!
 
T

timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,191
Getting to know another person is a process that can hold some surprises. It can even be painful if one forms expectations in advance of reality. Most friendships are supported by proximity like work or school. For people to sustain a friendship outside of proximity there usually has to be things that are in common such as values, beliefs, or interests.
 

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