My father may have CTB exploiting his chronic illness by low key refusing treatment

[recat]

My father died during holy week of 2022. He was in and out of ER dozens and dozens of times, suffering a lot, not only by a divorce, i can imagine, but also by his daughter cutting off ties with him. He was a well and proper engineer with a masters in computer science, and it was his passion really, yet regardless of his high level of inteligence, an having severe diabetes, he would absolutely not give up on eating sweets and precisely everything his doctors told him he should absolutely not eat.

Nobody in the highly religious family views it as a suicide, instead just as a tragedy, but after analyzing his life with all the documents i have inherited from him, studying his life immensely, it leads me to believe that maybe all of this was not just a mere addiction to sugar and carbs, but instead an attempt to have a socially acceptable suicide.

On his last night, he was taken to ER for treatment of some of the recurring problems, and then discharged only to die that very same night in his sleep. Afterwards, even though diabetes caused him near total blindness in both eyes, it was found that the had somehow managed to get a huge stash of chocolates, cookies, sweets of every kind.

It always makes me wonder, was his death just an elaborate very well thoughtout plan for suicide? I think so... I want to go out like him, to join him, wherever he might be, if after life is real or not.. i don't care.. i just want to join him. Now I have also lost all the people that matter most to me.. my partner of 12 years?? has left me suddenly, alone in the home.. then my absolute closest friend did to.. because im just "too depressed".. now I have nobody left either, other than friends who try their hardest to cheer me up, but of course... it doesn't really help.. at all..

It's been nearly two years and ever since his death I feel like a part of my soul has died, he was the favourite, my mother abused me for telling her i way gay at age 14, punished me, treated me like i was filled with demons, but my father.. he was clinical about it.. he didnt personally care.. he just wanted me to succeed and wanted me not to go to hell, but nothing more.. and now he is gone, and I think, by his own will. I want to do the same so much. My psychiatrist tried to make me promise not to do it, but I declined.

 

[AllAlone]

Dieing from a chocolate and cookie overdose seems like a fantastic way to go out. Your father is lucky to go out own his own terms in that way.

 

[recat]

Dieing from a chocolate and cookie overdose seems like a fantastic way to go out. Your father is lucky to go out own his own terms in that way.

Yes, he died in his sleep with his arms crossed in a comfortable position. I was told he ate many of his favourite foods, all kinds of tasty things on his last day. He surely didn't suffer when going out. That does make me feel a little bit less pained, and quite jealous, wishing I could do the same, somehow. But such unlikely circumstances are, well, unlikely.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I'm sorry to hear about your father, I can tell that he was deeply beloved by you and I am sure he died knowing that. Whenever older people feel like it is getting closer to their time, I feel like declining medical interventions and not attempting to slow down disease progression is their way of saying, "I've had enough" in a socially acceptable way.

Having also grown up in a deeply religious household, in an area where suicide is sacrilegious and people will try to cover up the cause of death to avoid shame for their family, I think that people do find ways to get around this by letting a disease run it's course naturally. It is entirely possible that your father didn't want to cause you and your other relatives further hurt, and chose to let nature take it's course.

I am so sorry that you have lost so many people in such a short time, and faced judgment for who you love. No one deserves to be outcast by their family for that.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Your dad was smart, and yeah, it's entirely possible that he did exploit his illness. He must have been a tough one too, because he had to keep quiet about the pain to get the outcome he wanted. (getting discharged multiple times)

 

[rora]

My father died during holy week of 2022. He was in and out of ER dozens and dozens of times, suffering a lot, not only by a divorce, i can imagine, but also by his daughter cutting off ties with him. He was a well and proper engineer with a masters in computer science, and it was his passion really, yet regardless of his high level of inteligence, an having severe diabetes, he would absolutely not give up on eating sweets and precisely everything his doctors told him he should absolutely not eat.

Nobody in the highly religious family views it as a suicide, instead just as a tragedy, but after analyzing his life with all the documents i have inherited from him, studying his life immensely, it leads me to believe that maybe all of this was not just a mere addiction to sugar and carbs, but instead an attempt to have a socially acceptable suicide.

On his last night, he was taken to ER for treatment of some of the recurring problems, and then discharged only to die that very same night in his sleep. Afterwards, even though diabetes caused him near total blindness in both eyes, it was found that the had somehow managed to get a huge stash of chocolates, cookies, sweets of every kind.

It always makes me wonder, was his death just an elaborate very well thoughtout plan for suicide? I think so... I want to go out like him, to join him, wherever he might be, if after life is real or not.. i don't care.. i just want to join him. Now I have also lost all the people that matter most to me.. my partner of 12 years?? has left me suddenly, alone in the home.. then my absolute closest friend did to.. because im just "too depressed".. now I have nobody left either, other than friends who try their hardest to cheer me up, but of course... it doesn't really help.. at all..

It's been nearly two years and ever since his death I feel like a part of my soul has died, he was the favourite, my mother abused me for telling her i way gay at age 14, punished me, treated me like i was filled with demons, but my father.. he was clinical about it.. he didnt personally care.. he just wanted me to succeed and wanted me not to go to hell, but nothing more.. and now he is gone, and I think, by his own will. I want to do the same so much. My psychiatrist tried to make me promise not to do it, but I declined.

This is all so eerily relatable. Lost my dad to diabetes very recently too. And while I haven't wondered about how it might be actually be a ctb but now that I think about it, we always talk about how he almost VOLUNTARILY neglected his health. He refused to go to the hospital minutes before his death, despite having painful symptoms.

 

[recat]

This is all so eerily relatable. Lost my dad to diabetes very recently too. And while I haven't wondered about how it might be actually be a ctb but now that I think about it, we always talk about how he almost VOLUNTARILY neglected his health. He refused to go to the hospital minutes before his death, despite having painful symptoms.

People can refuse proper treatment for many reasons, like being afraid of financially burdening their families in some countries.. The main reason why I suspected it of my dad is because looking back at his digital and paper history left behind, he always showed symptoms of hidden depression, never being quite content with what he had in life and always wanting something new and different to escape from reality. That and the fact that quite literally everyone in his side of his family has depression, clearly a genetic component... I'm sorry to hear about your case. Maybe after research like I did you also could come to a more concrete answer.

I'm sorry to hear about your father, I can tell that he was deeply beloved by you and I am sure he died knowing that. Whenever older people feel like it is getting closer to their time, I feel like declining medical interventions and not attempting to slow down disease progression is their way of saying, "I've had enough" in a socially acceptable way.

Having also grown up in a deeply religious household, in an area where suicide is sacrilegious and people will try to cover up the cause of death to avoid shame for their family, I think that people do find ways to get around this by letting a disease run it's course naturally. It is entirely possible that your father didn't want to cause you and your other relatives further hurt, and chose to let nature take it's course.

I am so sorry that you have lost so many people in such a short time, and faced judgment for who you love. No one deserves to be outcast by their family for that.

Yes my father and I did talk quite a lot especially in the last months, we always had common interests.. we had a plan for if his health recovered to the point that he could drive again, we would take this trans-european from Spain all the way to Norway, a dream country for him to visit... I've come to meet all his friends and co workers, one of his closest friends, his boss even called me directly from his department at his company which was really nice of him. They all told me the same.. that he was proud of me, and always spoke to them about me. As if i was this myth, legend, that they all finally met.

I appreciate the kind words.. really do. All of it hurts, and it still does. It never stops, I was told that my Adjustment Disorder should last no more than a few months to a year, two years max, and we are at the two year mark now, worse than ever before. I'm so tired of dealing with everything, I got a new job that my dad would be so proud of me for having, yet he will never know nor will i get to have that experience of telling him in any way.

 

[Homo erectus]

In and out of ER numerous times... Is being socially accepted that important, one would endure a lengthy and unpleasant period of declining health?

 

[recat]

In the world we live in, especially highly religious families, double so if you are religious yourself, it's the only way sadly. CTB intentionally and you go to "hell", have to let "god"'s plan take place.