Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,982
It's the most wonderful time of the year... fake those holiday feelings or be out on your earrr...

But yeah, fuck that. Nothing quite like mandatory happy-family charades. This sense of needing to pretend everything's good and everyone loves each other is simply ridiculous. I don't see my own family too often but I am becoming more and more sick of acting. Like my sister's a bitch, and that's all there is to it. I dislike her, and I cant help it.

My sympathies to you, OP. Hopefully you (and the rest of us) can get through the holidays okay.
 
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Lizzie S.

Lizzie S.

Experienced
Sep 2, 2018
258
I've lost the desire to talk to him. Im just going to hope he doesn't go through with it and prepare myself to ctb

Understandable, that's my plan too
 
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TheLastTrip

TheLastTrip

Experienced
Nov 2, 2018
285
Ugh, as a fellow introvert I feel your pain, the amount of arguments and threats etc I had to put up with while I was still at home. They tried to pull that shit after I left and I just laughed.

Them: 'But if you don't go to the party I'll be annoyed and stop talking to you.'
Me: 'Good, stop talking to me now then!'
Then: 'Well you don't have to be like that, I just wanted you there.'
Me: 'You're still talking, that's a really annoying habit.'

:pfff:

Ok it never quite went down like that, but I sure as hell never let them push me around again once I was out.
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
my grandma died this week but i dont want to attend the funeral but i have to go there and act like weird guy.
I experienced a similar situation recently. People trying to pull me out of my hole to be put on display for others.
 
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L

Letting Go

Member
Oct 30, 2018
99
Wow, what a petty reason for him to threaten to kick you out of the house over. In a way, I wish my dad were an insensitive asshole like yours is because then it would be easier for me to CTB without feeling any guilt about how much it would devastate him.
 
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The Blackangel

The Blackangel

Nyiach des uti nesi deh ahy.
Nov 3, 2018
212
For the sake of argument, this is a purely hypothetical post.

Before anyone can have children, they should be required to speak to the "soul" that would be used in the body and see if it wants to even be born. If not, then they should have to wait at least 1 year until another "soul" is available and talk to it. I'm not trying to get into a religious debate, this is purely a sci-fi statement, but something of the like should be thought up. Especially if your father is going to beat the shit out of you on an almost daily basis...
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I am an adult. But I am living in his house and am financially dependant on him. I suppose he can technically kick me out any time he wants to, for any reason.
I'm in the same fucking boat, and I HATE IT. I wish I could die. My dad is making me apply to MORE grad school that I don't want and can't afford. I want to die painlessly and quickly.
 
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Weeping Garbage Can

Weeping Garbage Can

ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
Oct 31, 2018
320
I wish you all the best, i can only imagine the stress and pain. Family gatherings are often more drama than it's worth, and especially for an introvert (I'm one as well), such people and meetings can be even more agonizing
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
I'm in the same fucking boat, and I HATE IT. I wish I could die. My dad is making me apply to MORE grad school that I don't want and can't afford. I want to die painlessly and quickly.

Sounds like you're done with school. You feel trapped: go to grad school to get a career worth something or end up poor with shit jobs?

I wish I were 22 again. So much still to be. So many possibilities. Make the choice you FEEL you won't regret in 10, 20, 40 yrs.
 
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Thoughtforms

Thoughtforms

Experienced
Nov 1, 2018
220
If I don't go to a stupid Thanksgiving and Christmas party. I wish I knew these requirements before I was born! I'm an introvert. I am not happy at all at parties. Especially if 95 percent of the people there I don't even talk to regularly . And yet he doesn't like the idea of me killing myself, but he'll apparently happily cause me more suffering if I don't do what he fucking wants. It's shit like this that makes me not want to even leave a note when it happens. End rant.
It sounds like you have chronic social anxiety ? Are you able to get help for this? Because it must impact all sorts of aspects of your life and it is something that can be overcome
 
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