My family

[Pacosay]

That's pretty much what's stopping me right now, I know my mom would be devastated and she doesn't deserve that, but there is nothing else for me, I'm constantly fighting against myself, and I always lose.

I'm really tired, I plan to ctb this weekened, but I don't know how to make this the lesst painfull for my family, any suggestions?

 

[4_science]

Your loved ones will always be affecte by the pain of loosing you ue to suicide. It will never leave them an they will blame themselves. There really is no friens/ an family frienly way out. You will be missed.
What I did: I have an autoimmune condition, work place accient that left me disabled and I am on the spectrum. I foun people I coul trust and not to judge me. They know I have been trying to hold on for years now withoutr a single painfree day in my life. I trie to prepare them. I explained to them. They know I do my best every day an try to get through although the next ay might be worse for me. I told them I don´t know how long I can keep doing this an that there might be a point in the future I can´t take it anymore. I expresse how much I love them an asked them not to be mad at me. 2/3 people I opened up to were understanding. But it has been a a very long process.

 

[Little_Suzy]

It's lovely that you're thinking of your mother. Consider writing her a heartfelt letter, expressing your genuine desire not to cause her any pain. Ask for her forgiveness and explain that the best way she can show you love is to wish you eternal peace.

 

[nner]

I'm in the same boat. I'm holding for my family, but I don't know if I can endure this anymore. I think there's no way to not hurting them, and that devastates me.

 

[scolopendra]

I feel the same. My parents are the only reason I haven't done it yet.

My stepdad, who I loved very much, passed away last month of AML. Watching my mom bawl over him at the ICU as they took him off of life support was one of the hardest things I ever had to see. My mom didn't have the strength to visit his grave until today. Just as awful to see her crying today too.

I can only imagine how much more awful it would be if I was to die next.