Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
My whole life has been shit. I was never supposed to be born. Every year is worse and worse. My mother is a narcissistic toxic idiot who has never cared for me. My father is exactly like her, a toxic narcissist. Neither of them have the ability to love me, neither have the ability to change or even understand. They never say sorry, they never admit being wrong.
I'm always the space goat. If you have read about narcissism, they love to use space goats. All the world's problems are my fault. If mother didn't get the job, that's my fault. If my brother hurt his leg when cycling, that's my fault. If it rains today, that too is my fault. They think it's so convenient to always blame me.
The worst thing about both of them is that they love to play the victim card. They always make everything about themselves. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to cry, because it made my parents uncomfortable. "Why do you hate me?" mother would yell, when she saw her 5 year old kid crying. I would get blamed and verbally abused if I cried (it never mattered why I cried). I also wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, if I talked, I was blamed and abused again. If my brother bullied me and stole my items, I'd get blamed and abused. Father even physically beat me sometimes if I dared to cry.
My parents have never told "I love you" to me. My parents would sooner get eaten by a crocodile than to make me feel loved. So many times they've told me "You're a dangerous, hate filled, scary, mad bitch".
To make matters worse. She, for some reason, cares a lot about other people. She is obsessed with worshiping and loving "thy neighbor". And whenever I tell her how I've been harassed, she always every single time takes the criminal's side. When I was sexually harassed and later called the harasser an idiot, my mother flew into rage and told me to stop hurting the harasser's feelings. When I told her that the crazy neighbor is driving me to suicide, she yelled at me that the neighbor is "a good, kind, civilized man" and I'm a bitch for claiming otherwise. Anyone who hates me is instantly loved by her. And vice versa, she hates my best friend and they're the only person my mother shit talks. My best friend is an amazing and kind and selfless person who always talks good about everyone, yet my mother always talks bad about her and tells me to stop seeing them. She will literally bare her teeth if I tell her that I met with my best friend. It truly hurts my very being how she loves my enemies and hates me and my friend.
I also hate how, despite always making herself the victim, never admits "weakness". No matter how ill she is, she always goes to work (she has never had a sick leave). She never admits to being tired. She will get a flu, go to work, come back after 8 hours, but when I kindly ask her "Are you tired?". She will get furious and yell at me because she's too narcissistic to admit being tired.
I really also hate how she always tells me to make room for others even if I have waited for a long time myself. When we are at a store, she is constantly smiling at other customers and sweet talking them and telling me to make way for others. If I want to buy a magazine, and I'm waiting in a line for my turn, the second it's my turn, mother will try to make me look bad "Look at that ill-mannered person! How dare they cut line!"
All her life is centered upon licking other people's asses while kicking my head. She has such high opinions on other people that other people are allowed to say and do anything to her, and she'll just smile. I'm 100% serious when I say that a person could go and throw dog shit at her face and she would still love them and worship them (unless they tell her that they're on my side, then she'll call them assholes).
And one more thing, yes, she loves and worships the ground of all people (except mine and my friend's) unless they're non-white. She is really racist against non--whites, calling them "emotionless" and worse. I don't know why.
And to make this whole thing even crazier, sometimes she gets some kind of bi-polaric moments when she is actually nice and helpful (buying me food and medicine etc.). But those small moments are broken fast if I dare to say one upsetting thing. It's like walking on egg shells. She'll treat me well, unless I disagree with her. Then she'll throw a tantrum and show her true colors.
She is not a human being and neither is my father. Both are just dumb machines. I would lie if I said, I haven't dreamed of them getting into an accident. I'm so full of rage and hurt.
As for my father, he is a violent idiot who should be in jail for beating and threatening his kid. It's a miracle he hasn't yet killed me. Of course, he too has bi-polaric moments and is nice sometimes, unless I disagree with him, then he'll try to hit me.
Finally, those bitches stole my dog. I bought a dog with my own money, but they stole her and won't give her back. Even when they leave on a holiday trip, I always beg them to let the dog stay with me, but they never allow it.
TLDR: Parents are narcissists, who hate me and think that everything is always my fault. I wanted to post this on a narcissism forum, but then I saw all the "talking of suicide will get you instabanned" rules, because apparently, talking of suicide is worse than suffering under two narcissistic parents.
I'm always the space goat. If you have read about narcissism, they love to use space goats. All the world's problems are my fault. If mother didn't get the job, that's my fault. If my brother hurt his leg when cycling, that's my fault. If it rains today, that too is my fault. They think it's so convenient to always blame me.
The worst thing about both of them is that they love to play the victim card. They always make everything about themselves. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to cry, because it made my parents uncomfortable. "Why do you hate me?" mother would yell, when she saw her 5 year old kid crying. I would get blamed and verbally abused if I cried (it never mattered why I cried). I also wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, if I talked, I was blamed and abused again. If my brother bullied me and stole my items, I'd get blamed and abused. Father even physically beat me sometimes if I dared to cry.
My parents have never told "I love you" to me. My parents would sooner get eaten by a crocodile than to make me feel loved. So many times they've told me "You're a dangerous, hate filled, scary, mad bitch".
To make matters worse. She, for some reason, cares a lot about other people. She is obsessed with worshiping and loving "thy neighbor". And whenever I tell her how I've been harassed, she always every single time takes the criminal's side. When I was sexually harassed and later called the harasser an idiot, my mother flew into rage and told me to stop hurting the harasser's feelings. When I told her that the crazy neighbor is driving me to suicide, she yelled at me that the neighbor is "a good, kind, civilized man" and I'm a bitch for claiming otherwise. Anyone who hates me is instantly loved by her. And vice versa, she hates my best friend and they're the only person my mother shit talks. My best friend is an amazing and kind and selfless person who always talks good about everyone, yet my mother always talks bad about her and tells me to stop seeing them. She will literally bare her teeth if I tell her that I met with my best friend. It truly hurts my very being how she loves my enemies and hates me and my friend.
I also hate how, despite always making herself the victim, never admits "weakness". No matter how ill she is, she always goes to work (she has never had a sick leave). She never admits to being tired. She will get a flu, go to work, come back after 8 hours, but when I kindly ask her "Are you tired?". She will get furious and yell at me because she's too narcissistic to admit being tired.
I really also hate how she always tells me to make room for others even if I have waited for a long time myself. When we are at a store, she is constantly smiling at other customers and sweet talking them and telling me to make way for others. If I want to buy a magazine, and I'm waiting in a line for my turn, the second it's my turn, mother will try to make me look bad "Look at that ill-mannered person! How dare they cut line!"
All her life is centered upon licking other people's asses while kicking my head. She has such high opinions on other people that other people are allowed to say and do anything to her, and she'll just smile. I'm 100% serious when I say that a person could go and throw dog shit at her face and she would still love them and worship them (unless they tell her that they're on my side, then she'll call them assholes).
And one more thing, yes, she loves and worships the ground of all people (except mine and my friend's) unless they're non-white. She is really racist against non--whites, calling them "emotionless" and worse. I don't know why.
And to make this whole thing even crazier, sometimes she gets some kind of bi-polaric moments when she is actually nice and helpful (buying me food and medicine etc.). But those small moments are broken fast if I dare to say one upsetting thing. It's like walking on egg shells. She'll treat me well, unless I disagree with her. Then she'll throw a tantrum and show her true colors.
She is not a human being and neither is my father. Both are just dumb machines. I would lie if I said, I haven't dreamed of them getting into an accident. I'm so full of rage and hurt.
As for my father, he is a violent idiot who should be in jail for beating and threatening his kid. It's a miracle he hasn't yet killed me. Of course, he too has bi-polaric moments and is nice sometimes, unless I disagree with him, then he'll try to hit me.
Finally, those bitches stole my dog. I bought a dog with my own money, but they stole her and won't give her back. Even when they leave on a holiday trip, I always beg them to let the dog stay with me, but they never allow it.
TLDR: Parents are narcissists, who hate me and think that everything is always my fault. I wanted to post this on a narcissism forum, but then I saw all the "talking of suicide will get you instabanned" rules, because apparently, talking of suicide is worse than suffering under two narcissistic parents.
