My family is decorating today

[rabbithole]

And I'm planning my suicide. And trust me I don't want to be, I just can't see another way. This is an awful situation. I don't want to hurt them.

f this.

 

[Harleyyy]

Very heartbreaking. I hope you find peace.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Why you ctb?

 

[Huntfish34]

I understand what you mean... My family has been decorating the past week.... And I've helped some as well to try and not Lose my damn mind. Fck. =\

Thoughts and prayers to you,. I get it.

 

[rabbithole]

Why you ctb?

Already had major depression, social anxiety and BDD...then became disabled by a routine procedure. no longer have any sexual function and have horrendous pain off and on. No friends, and lost my bf who was my favorite human and the reason I was keeping my head above water.

 

[Wrennie]

Already had major depression, social anxiety and BDD...then became disabled by a routine procedure. no longer have any sexual function and have horrendous pain off and on. No friends, and lost my bf who was my favorite human and the reason I was keeping my head above water.

I'm so sorry you were driven to this point by unfortunate circumstances. I also struggle with anxiety, BDD and sexual dysfunction. It takes a massive toll on one's quality of life. I pray that you can find some relief, whatever the path you end up choosing may be.

 

[rabbithole]

I understand what you mean... My family has been decorating the past week.... And I've helped some as well to try and not Lose my damn mind. Fck. =\

Thoughts and prayers to you,. I get it.

It's so hard to see everyone happy when you know they're going to be crushed because of you.

thoughts and prayers to you as well. <3

I'm so sorry you were driven to this point by unfortunate circumstances. I also struggle with anxiety, BDD and sexual dysfunction. It takes a massive toll on one's quality of life. I pray that you can find some relief, whatever the path you end up choosing may be.

I'm so sorry. Thank you for your kind words, truly. I hope you find relief as well...and really I hope you find a solution that isn't ctb. I have such a tough time supporting suicide in any way because I always used to believe there were a million options...now I can see how someone can truly be at the end of their rope and have no options. So I wish you peace in whatever form it has to take.

 

[Huntfish34]

Thank you much,. Most appreciated.
And yes,. Very rough situation to say the Least.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm exactly in your shoes, pal.
My mom was so happy decorating the Christmas tree while I was thinking: "Well, when shall I CTB?"

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It's a very surreal feeling.

 

[Thanatonaut]

Same here. But the only difference is, deep down they know. They know I'm trying to hang around, keeping myself in a pot-induced haze, but I'm about out of money and weed ain't cheap. And besides, it doesn't really help with the pain. It just makes me so retarded high I don't care about it, and weed is supposed to be about having fun.

I just want to make it past Xmas so I don't ruin that for them.

 

[Nimbus]

I can relate to this 100%. I'm planning to ctb in a few days and I visited my parents for the last time today. We put up Christmas decorations at their house and my mom asked me to come over later this week to help her wrap presents. It broke my heart to lie to her and say I'd come help, when I really hope to be gone by then.