Story my failed SN attempt

[Justnotme]

A pounding heart doesn't hurt, just makes you a little shaky once its to 130 or 140--I had a catheter once after my gallbladder operation because my bladder stayed asleep after the anasthesia wore off--Yes it was uncomfortable but no big deal(had it in there for a week)

Thank you so much for telling me about your experience

 

[leeloosnow]

@amerliorateme ty so much for sharing honestly about that super traumatic experience. i think that ppl speaking honestly, openly, and objectively about ctb experiences (or thoughts etc) helps others make more informed decisions, and helps us better avoid discomfort or unwanted results. i can't imagine how hard it is to be upfront about a recent incident, so i genuinely appreciate your share so much.
sn is also my method, and i am concerned about alerting my elderly housemate. i also feel really bad that i'll be leaving this person without what little support i can provide, but i'll probably make last wishes that their needs are taken care of. our rooms are on opposite ends of the house and we are both generally quiet and private ppl. but, it's set up in a way that i'll hear them call for help with stuff, and if they don't actually notice my ctb process (obvs i'll lock my bedroom door) then that could be who calls ems whenever i don't eventually leave the bedroom. i od'd once on a mix of street/scripts this year and they did call ems, then promptly kicked the cops outta the house when it became more of a threat and less of a treatment. they aren't physically capable of breaking into my bedroom, but i know if i succeed, someone else will within ~48hrs. this is something i wanna do a lot of preparation to soften the impact and leave them in a better situation than currently.
can def relate to how much being intubated and catherterized supremely sucks.
i have a little propanolol (beta blocker that will suppress heart rate), quetiapine, hydroxyzine, buprenorphine, antacids, oragel for gums/mouth numbing, and the last thing i think i will need is a good dose of benzos in hand ~and~ having plans/notes ect in place before actually doing it. that's been my last hurdle. do you think that using any of these beta blockers and anxiolytics (as well as antiemetics), these "luxury items", do you think if you'd had them you would've succeeded? it has happened before that i got some xannies then just got real high and passed out before i ctb'd, or got sidetracked because of altered state of mind. so there's both inherent risk and assurance with using them. my life is generally intolerable at the moment, has been for a while, so i'm trying to be mindful of not "wasting meds" by using them to relieve emotional pain before everything is ready to go and the time is right.
didn't really mean to overshare on my own plans here, but given your experience i'd like to hear your thoughts abt beta-blockers+benzos+perfect time.
thanks in advance and bug hugs!!

 

[poring54]

I'm beginning to wonder how useful meto even is. I have read tons of accounts where people take meto and vomit in like 4 minutes and also tons of accounts of people taking no antiemetics and not feeling nauseous at all.

can you send threads where people didn't vomit?

 

[Mofreeko]

can you send threads where people didn't vomit?

This thread will answer most of your vomit related questions when it comes to SN. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-on-the-forum-as-a-cause-of-sn-failure.47986/

 

[everythingblack]

The title says failed which makes it sound like SN does not work and another conspiracy story. A mention in title should say SI overcome SN CTB rather than a failed attempt.

They tried to CTB, and the attempt was not successful. Regardless of the reason, it was still a failed attempt. Are we really going to argue semantics of wording on a sensitive post? And it's not a "conspiracy story" that there is still the possibility of failure with SN even if help is not received