My Experience with Cluster B Personality Types

[goodoldnoname923]

antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder.

i know i have one if not multiple of these, and honestly my life has been destroyed by it…others have been too. When i see people talking about people with B cluster personality types their always vilified by society because of the harm they cause to others and honestly I've experienced it alot in my life

The harm and suffering i cause to others and constant vilification and antagonism for the things i do and the stuff i do…yet all i ever want is people to understand and some days i feel vindicated but otherdays is there misunderstanding and mistreatment valid?

I hurt my friend i hurt many friends i hurt many people repeating the cycle endlessly and i don't want to do it anymore,i don't want to cause anymore suffering to people and I genuinely don't feel any sort of therapy could help anymore

I saw her as my saviour..but she saw me as what i was a lost cause,and she's fucking happier now and i'm glad massively glad that shes save and happy

Now it's time for me to succeed in my attempt to CTB this time…if i fail again idk

I wish you all the best

 

[Pluto]

I would recommend seeking a proper diagnosis, as it may well be a completely different condition. Generally, people with those conditions, particularly NPD, APD and HPD, do not have concern for others because they are unable to experience empathy.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

It's never happy to encounter somebody in Cluster B because I know somebody else is also suffering. I am really sorry to hear about what you've been going through.

I have a piece of good news; you're probably not going to carry multiple cluster B diagnoses at the same time. But think of it like this; they are personality disorders, and personality is in large part carried in the subconscious and emotional part of our mind-body. To treat personality disorder a doctor must form an emotional connection to the patient and feel their way through the patient's emotions and history, and this process is so imprecise that treatment is varied to confirm/deny diagnoses, and if an existing diagnosis doesn't change with treatment for that diagnosis then it is assumed the diagnosis is incorrect and you treat something else until the patient stabilises and improves.

You should probably look around and see if you can get into DBT therapy. There's no reason to choose an awful quality of life even if you CTB tomorrow, you might as well have a tolerable final 24 hours. To that end, here is the most useful emotional distress skill I learned from DBT. Oh BTW mine was BPD, but I'm still not personally convinced I didn't misrepresent myself to hide APD by getting a BPD diagnosis.

Intro to TIPP Skills: How, What, Why, When — Mindful Care Therapy and Consultation

When we’re overwhelmed, we don’t have a lot of mental space to think of ways to help us calm down. Ever wondered if there was that one thing you could do that always helped you feel relief immediately? Learn all about TIPP skills, from a therapy approach called DBT. From a clinical anxiety therapist

www.mindfulcaretherapy.com

I'm not properly educated I just write well and I've been through years of textbooks from the client side so I could point you to some more resources, discuss my experiences, etcetera. I tend to write excessively and you probably noticed so be warned if you ask me anything you'll probably get more info than you wanted [and honestly that's after I cut out at least a third].

Context 37 year old dude, diagnosis age 32, still definitely suicidal but now realising I have to make a serious conscious effort to succeed, SAME AS LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN ACTUALLY

I'll probably starve on the street lol. I have no self control.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I would recommend seeking a proper diagnosis, as it may well be a completely different condition. Generally, people with those conditions, particularly NPD, APD and HPD, do not have concern for others because they are unable to experience empathy.

I most likely have BPD but all the same it doesn't change what people think of me or what I've done

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I would recommend seeking a proper diagnosis, as it may well be a completely different condition. Generally, people with those conditions, particularly NPD, APD and HPD, do not have concern for others because they are unable to experience empathy.

you don't sound like a person who holds a relevant degree--do you? Just checking before I point you out for everybody else as spreading misinformation

 

[Praestat_Mori]

you don't sound like a person who holds a relevant degree

I'm not pluto but do you have a relevant medical degree in psych stuff? Are you a studied dr. med. (maybe even dr. dr,) in psychology?

 

[Pluto]

you don't sound like a person who holds a relevant degree--do you? Just checking before I point you out for everybody else as spreading misinformation

How does someone need a degree to recommend someone see a mental health professional for a proper diagnosis?

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I'm not pluto but do you have a relevant medical degree in psych stuff? Are you a studied dr. med. (maybe even dr. dr,) in psychology?

No, but I've been interacting with the experts in these diagnoses for the past five years as I navigated treatment, and I am a sponge and I know they would not characterise NPD and HPD that way which calls into question APD as well. The thing is that cluster Bs are trauma related so APD is a piece of the puzzle I haven't quite placed to my satisfaction.

If you need me to offer sources on empathy and emotional function in cluster B disorders, I'm sure I'll be able to do that in a little bit. I'm not claiming that I am an academic and I'm not making any claims outside of my own experience. I am reacting to the assertion that 3/4 cluster B disorders do not feel empathy, because that rings completely untrue to what I know from lived and second-hand experience. I am confident enough to speak out despite lacking a degree.

 

[Pluto]

I most likely have BPD but all the same it doesn't change what people think of me or what I've done

Just to give you an idea, I was told I may have BPD, though my main diagnosis is C-PTSD. I have also had people in my circle diagnosed with bi-polar and they have unfortunately gone through very 'destructive' phases followed by regret.

I find that if I self-diagnose, I can somewhat relate to pretty much every condition out there. Moreover, some of these conditions could have treatments. That's why I suggest getting other opinions.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

How does someone need a degree to recommend someone see a mental health professional for a proper diagnosis?

I'm responding to your assertion that 3/4 cluster B diagnoses do not feel empathy. You don't need a degree for that, to be honest, but you should source something like that if you're going to say it. It sounds like pop psych and it sounds deeply misunderstood of the nature of cluster B.

 

[Pluto]

I'm responding to your assertion that 3/4 cluster B diagnoses do not feel empathy. You don't need a degree for that, to be honest, but you should source something like that if you're going to say it. It sounds like pop psych and it sounds deeply misunderstood of the nature of cluster B.

What you describe does happen, and part of the problem is non-professional diagnoses. Personally, I do not expect that a professional would diagnose OP with those conditions based on what we know, but it is best to get their opinion since it is likely something else.

I have extensive experience dealing with NPD people in my family. That's how I got my C-PTSD and why I sometimes comment when this topic comes up. However, there is a lot of pop psychology around this topic for sure.

I would be interested in your experience and your thoughts. Have you had a diagnosis?

 

[Jorms_McGander]

What you describe does happen, and part of the problem is non-professional diagnoses. Personally, I do not expect that a professional would diagnose OP with those conditions based on what we know, but it is best to get their opinion since it is likely something else.

I have extensive experience dealing with NPD people in my family. That's how I got my C-PTSD and why I sometimes comment when this topic comes up. However, there is a lot of pop psychology around this topic for sure.

I would be interested in your experience and your thoughts. Have you had a diagnosis?

Haha <3 with all due respect I am an observant asshole--what I describe does happen, yes. I am always prepared to be wrong and that's why I'm right so often! Hahaha but seriously, I appreciate the conversation. I can be a little brusque and [surprise answer to your question] I have BPD so I can also be a little [a lottle] reactive if people don't take kindly to my shitty demeanor, which is definitely a me problem and something I generally try to curtail.

I don't have any diagnostic opinions for OP other than that I said they wouldn't be diagnosing multiple cluster Bs. But you might hear something like Borderline with Narcissistic Tendencies [not for OP just that exist]. I'm close friends with some. All my friends are either cluster B or dealing with severe trauma. There's an unspoken facet to all this, and that is our genetic sensitivity. It's different from person to person. I happen to be hypersensitive, in my senses and my emotions, and I have a few areas of accelerated learning but not like child prodigy levels. Music and English. So my psychiatrist Dxed ADHD, confirmed social anxiety, BPD, and said I probably have mild autism but I don't gain much and it costs to get a diagnosis at my age. [I was actually encouraged around these parts to proceed and given some good reasons]

Anyway that was a lot but it's also relevant because that's my door into cluster B, as they are trauma related and my traumas are not as severe as you usually see in a cluster B patient. Personality disorders are not very easy to get, it takes constant chronic invalidation like, for an unfortunate example being raised by NPD such as yourself. My invalidation is because people don't inherently understand an emotional experience they don't have.

Trimmed a paragraph of blabla. Replaced with this thought: I was told C-PTSD resembles BPD of all the cluster Bs, and one of my pals has C-PTSD and we have a lot of common experiences but also notable differences, mostly in our life histories... similar fear of abandonment, similar anxiety levels

What you describe does happen, and part of the problem is non-professional diagnoses. Personally, I do not expect that a professional would diagnose OP with those conditions based on what we know, but it is best to get their opinion since it is likely something else.

I have extensive experience dealing with NPD people in my family. That's how I got my C-PTSD and why I sometimes comment when this topic comes up. However, there is a lot of pop psychology around this topic for sure.

I would be interested in your experience and your thoughts. Have you had a diagnosis?

I edited my last paragraph and I think you were reading the unedited version and I think I am done editing now. Just wanted to let you know cuz I eternally agonise over whether or not I am covering all possible implications and nuances lmfao

 

[Pluto]

I respect an authentic truth-seeker even if we don't have to agree on everything. Makes it more interesting. The most useful information in these sorts of discussions is direct experience, which is why I like to be transparent about my own biases.

Agreed about the multiple-diagnosis issue. Sometimes they even say 'Personality disorder not otherwise specified.' It's the nature of life for people to rarely fit into neat categorisations.

There definitely has to be a genetic component. My father's NPD was clearly a result of a horrible, 3rd world, 1940s era boarding school. But that wouldn't explain why my eldest sister was so similar despite no trauma to speak of. I've heard that the term epigenetics can offer theories regarding this sort of generational trauma.

When it comes to (sort-of) surviving family abuse of this nature, sometimes people take shortcuts or make sweeping statements. When I'm honest, I don't deeply believe my own story of abuse. My visceral belief is that I am inferior and unworthy of any sort of love or care or attention.

Hence, there can be a sense of Sisyphus, doomed to endlessly repeat trying to convince myself that Nfather's abuse was wrong, only to find my own self-help narrative never sticks. In theory, certain therapies could help, but my experience thus far has been pretty helpless. Hence, it's a big trigger since it's become a bitter defeat within my own mind.

I think BPD is one of the more common ailments on this forum. For what it's worth, I see where you're coming from and trying to be genuinely understood can be maddeningly difficult when there are so many misconceptions and stigmas.