My experience after taking 2 g SN last night

[Sadflower]

Hey everyone!

First of all: Much Love to all of you. I am a Long time lurker and i have seen how much kindness there is in this community. I am sorry for all of us to fee suicidial and wish our lives would have turnt out better. I might share my own Story in another post, but i just had an interesting experience with SN last night that i felt like sharing with all of you.
After reading many Posts here About the substance, i felt really curious to find out how it tastes like and also i felt a bit impulsive. I clearly didnt plan to make this a real attempt though, since i didnt take any meto (which i have at home).
So i took the SN around 5 pm . I measured exactly 2 g SN on my scale and stirred it into a small amount of water. It didnt taste that bad, just really like pool water. At first i didnt notice anything, so i just went to sit down behind my Laptop and felt like Nothing is going to happen, but something inside of me told me that this would be the silence before the storm. My Feeling told me to drink a lot of water since i didnt want to die. I felt a bit scared since somebody mentioned before that even a small amount could do the Job.
After around 20 minutes i felt quite Dizzy and went to the bathroom , just in case i had to throw up. I just felt like i would have to sooner or later, cause i could not hold the water in my Body.
suddenly i felt like totally black in front of my eyes as if i was going to faint, so i started to become a bit anxious and almost wanted to call the ambulance. I looked in the mirror and my lips were blue and my face was totally pale.
Then i had to throw up. I didnt eat much in the morning and Nothing for lunch (only a cereal, an apple and a few nuts). So all of that came out, but i still felt a bit unwell and scared since my lips were so blue. I kept on drinking water and had to threw up again and again (around 10 times till around 10.30.
Of Course i didnt eat anything anymore, but even when i swallowed a small amount of water, it would stay in my Body around 5 minutes till i had to throw up again,
All the time i was considering to call the ambulance, but the other part in me told me not to because i didnt want to end up in the mental Hospital.
The bathroom smelled like pool water and also i had that taste in my mouth. But apart from that i didnt feel pain or anything .

I just wanted to share this with you, cause i find it interesting how my Body reacted to such a small amount. I really thought this would be my Chosen method, but in case i go for it, i know i Need to prepare it much better. And in my case it apparently wouldnt work without meto.
But this is not to scare anybody off from this method. For example in the case of @MysticPerception , i think she took around 17 g? And she didnt have to throw up, instead experienced stomach pain (i didnt feel any pain in my stomach at all).
I think my Body is quite sensitive to Toxins and quickly takes care of getting rid of them. Even alcohol is not easy to Digest for me, which is why i dont drink any.
At night i didnt feel any specific Symptoms. I just tried to rest since i felt a bit weak from throwing up and now i am back here and everything is back to normal. I am not pale anymore and the Color of my lips is back to normal as well.
also has anybody heard of @Lara Francis ? I read that she took a mouth full of SN yesterday as well? I hope she is ok and could manage to get some help or at least found her Peace.....

 

[jgm63]

You should not be "playing around" with SN.
It is dangerous, and not a game.
Even 1 or 2 grams can be dangerous.

If you're using SN then it should only be done by considering carefully what you are doing and why, and you should refer to Stan's guide.

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[Sadflower]

Thank you. Yes you are absolutely Right that it is really dangerous and effective.. i think i was just curious to try how my body reacts after i read on here that somebody took a small dose for Sleep... but i really would not recommend it to anybody!!… i was really shocked to see how quickly my face turned pale and my lips became blue. I definitely do not plan to "Play" with it again, since that Feeling of not doing what is Happening to your Body and if you will survive is really not nice at all..


in my case i know i will ctb sooner or later since i h ave already tried so many Things to improve my life , but i am also suffering from some chronic disease and physical pain and other Things, so it is hard to live in such a way .
Anyway thanks for reading this and please do not repeat what i tried out of curiosity. SN is Nothing like normal table salt . even small amounts will give you cyanosis and that can be very dangerous cause it will also give you difficulty of breath and tachycardia

 

[autumnal]

Not just referring only to the OP, but why do people do these half-assed attempts with small amounts of SN? You know it's probably not going to be successful, you know it's going to make you feel very unpleasant and you know it's likely to end up with you in a mental hospital and your method being detected and removed preventing future successful usage.

What am I missing here? Is it just a cry for help?

I'm not trying to be completely unsympathetic, but as a behaviour it just boggles the mind.

 

[Sans]

Not just referring only to the OP, but why do people do these half-assed attempts with small amounts of SN? You know it's probably not going to be successful, you know it's going to make you feel very unpleasant and you know it's likely to end up with you in a mental hospital and your method being detected and removed preventing future successful usage.

What am I missing here? Is it just a cry for help?

I'm not trying to be completely unsympathetic, but as a behaviour it just boggles the mind.

What is a good amount? (This is just out of curiosity. I don't have access to SN.)

 

[Sadflower]

In my case it wasnt a cry for help, i just wanted to test how my Body would react to it, because if i Choose this as a method i want to feel safe with it and at least know a Little bit About it... i know most people just take it without ever testing it, but that would make me feel even more uncomfortable

 

[autumnal]

What is a good amount? (This is just out of curiosity. I don't have access to SN.)

You've been a member here since October and you don't know how to check the Resource page for SN?

In my case it wasnt a cry for help, i just wanted to test how my Body would react to it, because if i Choose this as a method i want to feel safe with it and at least know a Little bit About it... i know most people just take it without ever testing it, but that would make me feel even more uncomfortable

Any feeling of safety you may personally get from testing a small amount of SN is well and truly overshadowed by the dangers I already mentioned.

In future if you want to test SN, perhaps test the purity using test strips and beyond that be reassured by all of the reported success cases here and the endorsement of the medical experts behind the PPH.

 

[calendulo]

It is possible know purity level?.
because a couple days ago I saw Sn from Poland, showed up 99%. It Looked like so legitimate or legit. Or SN come from another less reliable seller.
Therefore you have taken 2 grms, when letal dose is around 4,6 grms.

 

[autumnal]

It is possible know purity level?.
because a couple days ago I saw Sn from Poland, showed up 99%. It Looked like so legitimate or legit. Or SN come from another less reliable seller.
Therefore you have taken 2 grms, when letal dose is around 4,6 grms.

You are way off with your ideas about dosage. Suggest you also revisit the resource page for SN. It should also have links to the threads about SN testing with test strips.

 

[Sadflower]

it was from the seller from P. i thought the lethal dose is between 20 and 25 g, but as with everything even smaller amounts can be effective for sure.

 

[jgm63]

You are way off with your ideas about dosage. Suggest you also revisit the resource page for SN. It should also have links to the threads about SN testing with test strips.

6 grams is a potentially lethal dose for someone who weighs around 60kg or 130 pounds...
The recommendations are just to go higher than that, to obtain a "reliable" dose.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I know a lot of people are giving you a hard time, but I get it. People can't help themselves when they see an opportunity to criticize and lecture someone else, even in a place like this. If you're anything like me, quite skeptical, then the reported cases here are simply not enough to reassure you when it comes to something like this. Not to mention, everyone's body is different and reacts differently to everything AND just because someone had a successful ctb with it, doesn't mean it was as easy and painless as normally reported. I wouldn't have done this myself, and sure, it isn't "smart" but impulsiveness is something I know a lot about and can relate to. In short, I'm just glad you're okay.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

despite people moaning about the OP *testing* this, I am glad he has shared his experience, I am researching all I can about SN, as it will be my fall back option, and to hear how it effects people and their experiences for some like myself, is actually very helpful

 

[Sadflower]

my weight is exactly 60 kg.. im glad im Feeling better today.. still some headache but just drinking lots of water . i am not sure if sn really is my method...i wish i had Access to the debreather

 

[calendulo]

You are way off with your ideas about dosage. Suggest you also revisit the resource page for SN. It should also have links to the threads about SN testing with test strips.

You are way off with your ideas about dosage. Suggest you also revisit the resource page for SN. It should also have links to the threads about SN testing with test strips.

Edit: I would rather more scientist reports. The screenshot was done last year on september. It already is old.

 

[Sadflower]

Thank you so very much for your Kind words @ohhgeeitsme and @Soulless_Angel . It really means the world to me, since i have Pretty much isolated myself and so i am glad to have created an account on here to be able to talk to some People who understand. ..I am also doing so much Research on different Methods...i can imagine a larer dose could be painful or Maybe it also makes you pass out.. i really dont know.. it is hard to tell. there have been many Questions if it is necessary to take meto.. i would say yes, but Maybe one can also trick the Body by not Eating, but then there is still a Risk to vomit out water and the sn cause you mix that with water as well.
Self-harming your Body in whatever way it is is just generally very hard… for example i know that i could never hang myself, i just could not stand the Feeling of having something around my neck since i am very sensitive there, whereas other People can..
i find it so difficult to find a method that i really feel comfortable with and that causes the least amount of pain… i dont even have Tattoos since i am already dealing with physical pain and it scares me so much.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Thank you so very much for your Kind words @ohhgeeitsme and @Soulless_Angel . It really means the world to me, since i have Pretty much isolated myself and so i am glad to have created an account on here to be able to talk to some People who understand. ..I am also doing so much Research on different Methods...i can imagine a larer dose could be painful or Maybe it also makes you pass out.. i really dont know.. it is hard to tell. there have been many Questions if it is necessary to take meto.. i would say yes, but Maybe one can also trick the Body by not Eating, but then there is still a Risk to vomit out water and the sn cause you mix that with water as well.
Self-harming your Body in whatever way it is is just generally very hard… for example i know that i could never hang myself, i just could not stand the Feeling of having something around my neck since i am very sensitive there, whereas other People can..
i find it so difficult to find a method that i really feel comfortable with and that causes the least amount of pain… i dont even have Tattoos since i am already dealing with physical pain and it scares me so much.

I see you are fairly new here. You have found the right place if you are looking for support and more whilst on this dark path. I understand what you mean by self harming the body, its the only reason I am still here, I could easily hang myself now, but it is of no interest to me, that feeling of choking just no. Respect to those that can though.
SN a lot of people say is easier, or as easy as it can be when choosing to end your own life. It's only something I have recently started looking into, as my last 2 attempts failed in epic style!!

Can I ask how you are feeling today?

 

[Sadflower]

Thanks for asking how i feel today.. my Skin Colour is back to normal which feels good .
and apart from that i do not seem to have any other side effects..only headache but that is because of dehydration and i am sure i can fix it by just keeping on drinking water and allowing my body to rest. i also had something to eat which gave me some strength .
would you like to share more about your 2 last attempts?

 

[Justaroguegear]

Since you have the real deal what does it look like? Mine is pretty clumpy but I read that it's normal. I'm just trying to make sure I have the thing.

 

[Sadflower]

mine was clumpy as well, but i dont think that matters at all.. by stirring it, it will dissolve easily

 

[Quinlor]

I used to take 1 or 2 grams for night. I really felt bad but as I was always going to sleepI didn't panic or anything.

 

[Sadflower]

oh yes i read your thread.. i hope you do not do that anymore? there are far better Methods to help you sleeping ;-) i am using a therapy blanket for example and the weight of it (6.8 kg) helps me a bit with my anxiety….how different did you feel after taking 2 grams compared to 1 gram? did you have to vomit? did you experience a Feeling of almost Passing out? in which way did you feel bad? hope you are Feeling better now!

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

Thank you so very much for your Kind words @ohhgeeitsme and @Soulless_Angel . It really means the world to me, since i have Pretty much isolated myself and so i am glad to have created an account on here to be able to talk to some People who understand. ..I am also doing so much Research on different Methods...i can imagine a larer dose could be painful or Maybe it also makes you pass out.. i really dont know.. it is hard to tell. there have been many Questions if it is necessary to take meto.. i would say yes, but Maybe one can also trick the Body by not Eating, but then there is still a Risk to vomit out water and the sn cause you mix that with water as well.
Self-harming your Body in whatever way it is is just generally very hard… for example i know that i could never hang myself, i just could not stand the Feeling of having something around my neck since i am very sensitive there, whereas other People can..
i find it so difficult to find a method that i really feel comfortable with and that causes the least amount of pain… i dont even have Tattoos since i am already dealing with physical pain and it scares me so much.

I've isolated myself too and while I did it to myself, I still don't enjoy the loneliness. Unfortunately, all the best options are the ones I don't have access to or too afraid to try on my own because I'm too unfamiliar with it. I can't access N or all the best drugs, which would be my first option. My next option would be charcoal, since it's the only source of CO I have. But I can't do it in my home, as I now live with other people and before lived in an apartment complex and don't want to harm anyone. I can't do it outside without someone noticing and don't have a car to just simply pack up all the supplies and go to an isolated area and since I'm new to this town and state, don't really know where a good spot is to start with. My next option would be SN but I'd definitely need something to prevent nausea but I can't take dopamine blockers because they can cause akathisia, which I already deal with it and it is straight up torture and do not want to be dealing with severe akathisia in my last minutes. Just the thought makes my skin crawl. I would try gun, but I'm too unfamiliar with them and too scared of a failed attempt and not being able to finish myself off if the first shot doesn't kill me. I'm secretly hoping to have a run in with a mad gunman and can beg him to shoot me till completion. I've tried partial hanging four times, and failed each time. I didn't think it was going to be so difficult to pass out, but like many people, I just can't seem to put enough pressure on my carotid arteries. The thought of passing out while still being able to breathe doesn't bother me, and online it says it should just be a few seconds. So I didn't think it was going to be so bad. But i'd get to the 45 second mark, and the not passing out and exploding head thing made me feel like I was just going to do severe damage without dying so I'd stop. I'm going to try and practice this more. May even do another attempt later. Lets see.. off the top of my head, those are the only "not too bad" ones I can think of and there is a problem preventing me from each. Figures.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Thanks for asking how i feel today.. my Skin Colour is back to normal which feels good .
and apart from that i do not seem to have any other side effects..only headache but that is because of dehydration and i am sure i can fix it by just keeping on drinking water and allowing my body to rest. i also had something to eat which gave me some strength .
would you like to share more about your 2 last attempts?

Glad to hear you are doing as well as you can be today,

Feel free to visit my blog post in regards to the last attempt, I have shared it before on this forum many a time don't mind sharing it again, NO personal info is posted :)
Oct 14th was my last attempt, I am aiming to try again on a higher bridge within next couple months

Link: Becoming friends with my demons

 

[jgm63]

I know a lot of people are giving you a hard time, but I get it. People can't help themselves when they see an opportunity to criticize and lecture someone else, even in a place like this. If you're anything like me, quite skeptical, then the reported cases here are simply not enough to reassure you when it comes to something like this. Not to mention, everyone's body is different and reacts differently to everything AND just because someone had a successful ctb with it, doesn't mean it was as easy and painless as normally reported. I wouldn't have done this myself, and sure, it isn't "smart" but impulsiveness is something I know a lot about and can relate to. In short, I'm just glad you're okay.

We don't "lecture" people for our own emotional satisfaction.
We have to act responsibly, and give good advice for others to refer to.
We also have to consider the reputation of this website.
It gives more ammunition for people to criticise a site like this if we do not give sound advice, and discourage actions like this.
So there are many factors to consider.....
Each individual is free to do as they wish.
But we still have a duty to state that this is very much not recommended.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

We don't "lecture" people for our own emotional satisfaction.
We have to act responsibly, and give good advice for others to refer to.
We also have to consider the reputation of this website.
It gives more ammunition for people to criticise a site like this if we do not give sound advice, and discourage actions like this.
So there are many factors to consider.....
Each individual is free to do as they wish.
But we still have a duty to state that this is very much not recommended.

I know.

 

[autumnal]

We don't "lecture" people for our own emotional satisfaction.
We have to act responsibly, and give good advice for others to refer to.
We also have to consider the reputation of this website.
It gives more ammunition for people to criticise a site like this if we do not give sound advice, and discourage actions like this.
So there are many factors to consider.....
Each individual is free to do as they wish.
But we still have a duty to state that this is very much not recommended.

This. Exactly this.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

We don't "lecture" people for our own emotional satisfaction.
We have to act responsibly, and give good advice for others to refer to.
We also have to consider the reputation of this website.
It gives more ammunition for people to criticise a site like this if we do not give sound advice, and discourage actions like this.
So there are many factors to consider.....
Each individual is free to do as they wish.
But we still have a duty to state that this is very much not recommended.

EVERY.................... FUCKING..... THING ...............THIS.......!!!

 

[autumnal]

Edit: I would rather more scientist reports. The screenshot was done last year on september. It already is old.

Those articles refer to accidental poisonings with lower dosages, and accordingly the onset of symptoms and/or deaths would have taken longer to occur.

The rationale behind the larger dosages as advised by the PPH and the experienced people on this forum is to cause unconsciousness (and eventually death) as quickly as possible in order to reduce the amount of suffering experienced due to the methemoglobinemia.

The dosage in the PPH has been devised to find the right balance between being high enough to cause death quickly, but not so high as to induce nausea unnecessarily.

 

[calendulo]

Those articles refer to accidental poisonings with lower dosages, and accordingly the onset of symptoms and/or deaths would have taken longer to occur.

The rationale behind the larger dosages as advised by the PPH and the experienced people on this forum is to cause unconsciousness (and eventually death) as quickly as possible in order to reduce the amount of suffering experienced due to the methemoglobinemia.

The dosage in the PPH has been devised to find the right balance between being high enough to cause death quickly, but not so high as to induce nausea unnecessarily.

Ok I understand what you want to say me, but I am not agree. Respectfully, of course.

At the other hand, Five or six months ago, Nobody had said "in order to reduce of suffering due to methemoglobinemia".
Five or six months ago SN was painless. We are in progress.

I have more reports, all of them are accidental poisonings as you say. I have not seen not one suicide report (autopsy), or maybe one, I am not sure about that.

I just did a question about the purity, because it is an important question. You will know, for sure, that is not same 99 than 10 when we are talking about of toxicity.

I guess that niezsche (sorry if name is wrong, I do not know how is written) is right when says about SN, It is a popular and cheaper method.
But I think it is an important, so important thing, to know rate or grade or level purity.

Add/Edit. Sorry to OP, This is him or her thread, I do not want to bother him or her. All the best.