Venting My “dad”

[DrinkingInHell]

Man. Crying over here about my dad being such a piece of shit. A part of me forever yearns for him to love me and care. I hate the man, but I still *want* to love him. He's the man who made me, I have his eyes and hair, his mannerisms. But oh how I long to be nothing like him. He's abused me and family beyond repair. I've seen him hit my mother and scream in my face, but I still wish he would apologize with sincerity some day. I just want my dad, I want what every other fucking kid had. It hurts a lot to not have parents who you can love. This shit sucks.

 

[CatLvr]

Yes, yes it does hurt. But if you are smart you will understand what he is telling you -- that he is dangerous and he does not deserve you. Take a deep breath, make up your mind that your mom is enough, and write him off.

I walked away from ENTIRE family 30 years ago. Single best thing I have ever done for myself. Trust me, it is not gonna get better. It will only get worse. He doesn't deserve you, and you deserve better than him.

 

[kitia973]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Childhood trauma takes a lifetime to heal - and often times they don't. My parents were deeply neglectful to me, and it has affected me to this day. I hope that you find someplace better, away from abuse.